I 




/ 
MRS. ABIGAIL BAYLEY: 



PILGRIM OE NINETY TEARS. 



By DANIEL 0^*^MORTOK A. M., 

OF BRISTOL, N. H. AUTHOR OF " THE LIFE OF REV. LEVI 
PARSONS, MISSIONARY TO JERUSALEM." 



Written for the Massachusetts Sahhath School Society ami 
approved hy the Committee of Publication. 



BOSTON: 

MASSACHUSETTS SABBATH SCHOOL SOCIETY, 
Depository, No. 13 Comhill. 

1849. 






Entered, according to Act of Congress, in the year 1849, 

By CHRISTOPHER C. DEAN, 
in the Clerk's Office of the District Court of Massachusetts. 



PREFACE. 



More than a year ago, Eev. Kiah Bayley, of Hardwick, 
Vt., forwarded a letter, informing me of his affliction In 
consequence of the death of his aged and beloved com- 
panion. He said he had been examining' and arranging 
her manuscripts ; and desired to know whether I would 
take them, and prepare a memoir of her for publication. 
Feeling under obligation to Mr. and Mrs. B., for kind- 
nesses long since received, I gave him an affirmative 
answer. 

In examining the history of the pilgrim, the writer has 
been led to review his own. Left motherless in his 
youth, he was received with parental kindness into her 
family, and for months shared its hospitality. And now 
at this late period he is permitted to make some returns 
of gratitude to the surviving pilgrim. This is in brief the 
history of the preparation of the following Memoir. That 
it may be the means of advancing essentially the inter- 
ests of the Kedeemer's kingdom in the world ; that the 
pilgrim may still live for the generations to come, in the 
hallowed influences of her piety, is the earnest desire and 
prayer of the writer. And now first of all, he comm€inds 
this biography to God ; and next, to that respectable an(i., 
honored Society, under whose auspices it goes forth into 
the world. daniel o. morton. 

Bristol, N. Kj March 28, 1849. 



CONTENTS, 



CHAPTER I. 

The Parentage and History of Miss Goodhue, to the time 
of the death of her parents 7 

CHAPTER II. 

She goes to reside with Mrs. Coombs. Mourns the death 
of her pastor. Teaches school. Is taken sick. At- 
tends on the ministry of Rev. Samuel Hopkins. Unites 
with the church under the pastoral care of Rev. Sam- 
uel Spring, The dark day 28 

CHAPTER III. 

Severe sickness, and gradual recovery. She goes out 
of town, to a rural retreat, for the benefit of purer 
air, and for more retirement. Returns to town, and 
engages in teaching 43 

CHAP TER IV. 

Severe affliction occasioned by the death of her broth- 
er's wife. Takes the charge of his family. Remains 
in it for some years ; then goes to Franklin 57 

CHAPTER V. 

Miss Goodhue's marriage. Removal to Newcastle. Or- 
ganization of the church. Birth and death of her twin 
children 68 

CHAPTER VI. 

Notices of Mrs. Bayley's labors and devotional exercises 
in Newcastle, during the period of four years. ... 80 



CONTENTS. 



CHAPTEK VII. 

Devotional exercises. Formation of a Female Cent So- 
ciety. Commencement of a monthly Female Prayer 
Meeting. Reception of an unprotected young woman 
into the family. Devotional exercises 95 

CHAPTER VIII. 

An Academy in Newcastle. The first Sunday School. 
Devotional exercises. A severe scald. Feeble health. 
A journey 115 

CHAPTER IX. 

Sickness and death of her brother. Visits her mother's 
native place. Female meeting. Incipient measures 
for the establishment of a Theological Seminary. 
Hopeful conversion, sickness and death of Mrs. Hale. 
Devotional exercises 131 

CHAPTER X. 

Devotional exercises. Further labors in Maine. Theo- 
logical Seminary. Devotional exercises. Letter to a 
Foreign Missionary 155 

CHAPTER XI. 

Devotional exercises. Domestic cares and labors. Cor- 
respondence with Dr. Ramsay and his family. A re- 
vival of religion 174 

CHAPTER XII. 

Devotional exercises. Death of an early friend. De- 
cease of Mrs. Mitchell. Extract from a letter. De- 
votional exercises. Decease of Mrs. Brooks. Mr. 
Bayley's pastoral relation dissolved 188 

CHAPTER XIII. 

Leaves Newcastle. Journeys into Vermont. Labors in 
Greensborough, Vt., for the religious improvement of 
young women. Takes the charge of a class in the 

Sabbath school. Devotional exercises 212 

1* 



CONTENTS. 



CHAPTEK XIV. 

Removal from Greensborough, Vt.^ to Thornton, N. H. 
Formation of a Bible Class, and labors for the relig- 
ious improvement of the females of the place. Some 
of them hopefully converted. Removal from Thorn- 
ton to Hardwick, Vt. Devotional exercises. . . . 234 

CHAP TER XV. 

Devotional exercises. Last sickness. Death and burial. 252 

CHAPTER XVI. 

Concluding observations, and general view of her char- 
acter . . 276 



PILGEIM OF NINETY YEARS. 



CHAPTER I, 



The Parentage and Historjr of Miss Goodhue to the time 
of the death of her parents. 

Our Saviour said to his disciples, ^^ Ye 
are the hght of the world ; a city that 
is set on a hill cannot be hid." This is 
•true of faithful Christians in every age. 
In the firmament of heaven some lumi- 
naries emit a feeble light; others shine 
with delightful brilliancy. The light of 
some Christians is very feeble ; but if 
you look with carefulness you may see 



8 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

it; Others shine with cheering radiance, 
which all see, and in which many 
rejoice. As the sun, after he has de- 
scended below the horizon leaves a halo 
behind him, so the faithful Christian's 
light shines long after he has gone to 
his rest. In addition to devoted piety, 
great excellence of christian character, 
some employ the pen, and leave 
behind them delightful memorials of 
the goodness and loving-kindness of 
the Lord. Being dead they yet speak 
for the instruction and comfort of survi- 
vors, perhaps of succeeding generations. 
These remarks, it is thought, apply to 
the subject of this memoir. 

Abigail Goodhue was the daughter of 
Mr. George, and Mrs. Elizabeth Goodhue 
of Newburyport, Mass. Mr. Goodhue 
was originally from Ipswich, was a 
useful mechanic and respectable citizen, 



PARENTAGE AND HISTORY. 

and one of the members that formed the 
Presbyterian church in Newburyport, and 
settled the first pastor, Rev. Jonathan 
Parsons. 

Abigail was their fourth child and 
eldest daughter; and was baptized the 
third day after her birth, in the Pres- 
byterian church, by Rev. Mr. Parsons, 
May 10th, 1756. As her parents had 
thus early and publicly dedicated her 
to God, they were careful to train her 
up for Him, and their labor was not 
in vain. The good seed sown in her 
tender mind was evidently made to take 
root and to grow by the gracious influ- 
ences of the Holy Spirit ; and springing 
up in due time brought forth fruit unto 
eternal life. The happy death of a sister 
at the age of four years, and of a pious 
uncle, made a deep impression upon her 
mind when she was quite young. 



10 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

She was observant of things around 
her; and once when returning from a 
Uttle excursion, she gave her father an 
account so orderly and correct, that he 
said pleasantly, ^' She has spoken of all 
things from the cedar in Lebanon, to the 
hyssop that groweth out of the wall." 
She was very diligent, attending faith- 
fully to her book or her work; was 
a good scholar and much beloved by her 
teacher. 

Her early religious impressions were 
evidently abiding; and she manifested 
a lovely spirit. Once in some childish 
sport, her brother struck her, and hurt 
her considerably ; without complaining, 
she went as soon as she was able, and 
got a choice, beautiful apple, which she 
had laid by, and gave it to him; an 
apple for a blow. Would that such a 
temper of mind were universal. She 



PARENTAGE AND HISTORY. 11 

loved to attend the morning and evening 
sacrifice of the family, to say her prayers 
and her hymns; and pleaded with her 
mother to be permitted to sit up on those 
evenings when prayer meetings were at- 
tended at the house. So decided were 
the marks of seriousness, that her parents 
were satisfied that she was the subject 
of those convictions of sin, which are 
produced only by the Holy Spirit. 

She early acquired the art of writing, 
and made extracts from the authors, 
which she read, all of them serious and 
deep divines ; as Owen, Charnock, Cy- 
prian, Shaw, Carrel. From these extracts, 
it was easy to ascertain the state of her 
mind. If young ladies would lay aside 
much of the light, ephemeral literature 
of the day, and read authors like these, 
or any healthful works, which breathe 
a truly Christian spirit; we should in- 



12 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

dulge cheering anticipations of their fu- 
ture usefulness and happiness, and better 
hopes of the generations to come. One 
of the greatest evils of this age is a 
soulless literature, which is rapidly pass- 
ing into oblivion; but which in its 
passage leaves in the moral atmosphere 
the taint of death. 

Abigail's health was poor, and she 
frequently suffered by sickness ; but nour- 
ished with parental care and kindness, 
and mercifully sustained by her heavenly 
Father, she grew up to womanhood. 
When she had just entered her nine- 
teenth year, new scenes opened; great 
and overwhelming afflictions came sud- 
denly upon her. Here it may be best 
that she should speak for herself. '^In 
the month of August, 1774, my health 
being poor, and my spirits depressed, 
my parents grew anxious about me. 



PARENTAGE AND HISTORY. 13 

Mrs. Coombs, being much alone, as her 
husband was at sea, wished me to sleep 
with her ; to which my parents consented. 
After taking tea with them on Saturday, 
my father suggested my going to my 
lodging early, to avoid the evening air. 
But to obey now seemed painful ; I 
could not say why. I withdrew with 
lingering steps, and took up my lodging 
with Mrs. Coombs. Having one of my 
poor nights, I walked the room a part of 
the time; a dread had fallen on my 
spirits, as of some approaching, painful 
event. At length the morning light ap- 
peared, but not to cheer my sinking heart. 
I arose and left my chamber, as in haste 
to meet the painful scene awaiting me. 
Gaining the parental door, my poor dis- 
tressed mother met me, and seizing my 
hand, her face all suffused in tears, cried, 
'^O, my dear, your father is dying.'' 
2 



14 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

Overcome by this news, I hastened to 
my father's apartment, and found my 
mother's assertion confirmed. Then my 
heart received a wound time cannot 
cure. I gazed for a moment upon the 
countenance that had so often smiled my 
grief away. He attempted to speak, but 
his feelings overpowered him; his quiv- 
ering lip and tender look conveyed to 
my aching heart all the affectionate 
feelings of a dying parent. I hastened 
to my chamber and poured out my soul 
in supplication. The sun arose as I 
entered my chamber; but his golden 
beams could not animate my sinking 
heart. Nothing but a beam from the 
Sun of righteousness could enter, and 
chase away its darkness. The distress- 
ing disorder, which prostrated my father, 
was cramp in the stomach. When I 
first saw him the paroxysm was off; 



PARENTAGE AND HISTORY. 15 

but soon returning, his groans announced 
to me his dying agony. Nothing could 
support me in that distressing season, 
but Almighty power. My suffering that 
day surpassed description. I could nei- 
ther sit, nor lie down, but walked my 
chamber, supplicating mercy, that, if the 
decree had not gone forth, my father's 
life might be spared yet a little longer. 
Toward the close of the day, when his 
groans ceased, I thought I would take 
a last look of the dear object of my 
strongest affection. When I entered the 
room, he was speechless; life was gently 
ebbing away. I hastened back to my 
chamber, and being unable to walk the 
room, I sunk down on my pillow, and 
gave myself to reflection. From the 
moment that I caught my mother's agonized 
look in the morning, I doubted whether 
my father would live ; yet I could not 



16 A PILGKIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

but pray that he might. I soon began 
to feel that I had done wrong in wishing 
to have my own way; I felt that God 
had a right to do what he would with 
his own, and that it became me to be 
still. While thus reasoning, these words 
of the 145th Psalm,— ''The Lord is 
righteous in all his ways, and holy in 
all his works,"— entered my heart with 
powerful influence, subduing every mur- 
mur, tranquilizing my spirits, and spread- 
ing a sweet calm through my mind. 
The idea that God was righteous in all 
his ways and holy in all his works 
brought indescribable peace and satisfac- 
tion to my heart: my anxiety gave 
way to a subdued spirit, and I felt that 
it became me to submit to the Sovereign 
will and pleasure of so good a being, all 
of whose ways are perfect. Peace en- 
tered my mind, anguish retired; I felt 



PARENTAGE AND HISTORY. 17 

happy. The storm subsided, a sweet 
calm ensued. The beauties of nature 
burst into view, the sun emitted a more 
briUiant ray, all nature smiled. 

Death had done his work. Though 
my father was called for suddenly, I 
trust he was not unprepared. Care for 
eternity was with my dear parents, the 
first great object. My mother in health 
had prepared such articles as would be 
needed in death; so that the corpse was 
soon dressed for the grave, and com- 
mitted to the care of watchers. The 
house was assuming its usual quietness, 
when I inquired for my mother, but no 
one could answer. Soon I found her 
struggling with a convulsion fit, and 
attended by the physician. In a little 
time I went from my mother's room, to 
my brother's chamber, and found him 
fallen on the floor. I hoped he had 
3^ 



18 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

only fainted, and so through Divine 
goodness it proved. I helped him to his 
bed, administered some cordial, remained 
a little while, then seeing that he was 
quiet, I left him to his repose. The 
house had been crowded all the day, 
the evening was now far spent; but 
neighbors and friends still lingered, as 
though unwilling to go and report that 
the master of the house was smitten. 
At length they retired, and I went into 
the garden, and with much delight view- 
ed the starry heavens ; and had it been 
prudent in my feeble, debilitated state, 
could long have enjoyed the delightful 
prospect. I can never give an adequate 
idea of what I underwent on the 2Sth 
of August, 1774. The storm burst sud- 
denly upon me, and ere I was aware 
brought me prostrate, torn and broken, 
at the footstool of Jehovah in humble 



PARENTAGE AND HISTORY. 19 

submission. Then God comforted me, 
and brought me to see that, ^'he could 
support me though all earthly friends 
should fail, and though the pillars of 
the world should be removed out of 
their place." 

Abigail at this time experienced a 
great and happy change in her mind; 
but whether it was regeneration, her first 
espousals to the Saviour, the first breath- 
ings of heavenly life, the Lord knoweth. 
Certainly she was a praying person 
before, and may have been such truly from 
early childhood. It is equally evident 
that an eminent Christian might for a 
time have been unsubmissive under such 
a dreadful visitation. It is sufficient 
that Jehovah knows his own work in 
the soul; and that the subject of this 
narrative had a spirit subdued to him. 
This cordial subjection of her spirit to 



20 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

the Father of spirits, became an essen- 
tial element of her character. 

After the cares and sufferings of her 
father's funeral were over, she found 
that her mother was mentally dead, 
was a maniac ! '^ O the agony of my 
heart when I first realized it! Young 
and inexperienced in the cares of life, 
and the deceitfulness of the world, 
what should I have done, had not the 
Helper of the helpless mercifully sus- 
tained me? For three months I did 
not leave my mother's room one night; 
but then by the entreaties of my friends 
and the advice of my pastor, I was 
prevailed upon to lodge in my chamber. 

'^The revolutionary war was advanc- 
ing with awful aspect. Both my broth- 
ers were at sea, which occasioned me 
much anxiety. The dreary winter wore 
away; and the summer of 1775, brought 



PARENTAGE AND HISTORY. 21 

new and complicated scenes of sorrow 
upon me; but a gracious God mercifully 
supported me through the trying season. 
Hostilities had commenced between this 
and the parent country ; and doleful 
tales of bloodshed and disorder were 
daily circulated; while alarms were con- 
tinually agitating the minds of the in- 
habitants of the town with fear lest 
the place would be destroyed, and the 
people scattered." 

In one of the panics, when it was 
reported that the enemy were coming 
into the river, and men, women and 
children were flying as for their lives, 
this feeble, delicate young woman, per- 
haps unconsciously to herself, displayed 
a heroism, which deserves to be record- 
ed. Come what would, life, death or 
captivity, she resolved to stay with her 
poor, distracted mother, and abide the 



22 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 



event. She trusted in God and was 
preserved. 

In reference to this state of things she 
says, ^^I had no human friend to reheve 
my cares. My father had lent money, 
and we had to receive it in paper, 
dollar for dollar, when so depreciated, 
that it was of very little value. By 
this circumstance I was often much 
straitened, sometimes in need of the ne- 
cessaries of life. But He, who heareth 
the ravens when they cry, kept us from 
sinking, though not from suffering. 

^' Toward the autumn of 1775, I saw 
that the sufferings of my dear parent 
were drawing to a close. Her consump- 
tive complaints, which had been a little 
checked by the dreadful shock occa- 
sioned by my father's death, now re- 
turned with greater violence than ever. 
As her strength failed, her mind became 



PARENTAGE AND HISTORY. 23 

more composed, and finally she appeared 
as one in a premature old age. She did 
not appear to have any distinct knowl- 
edge of me as her daughter: it was 
extremely trying to behold this beloved 
object, unconscious of any act of kind- 
ness, as coming from her once beloved 
child. Yet I loved her as my dear 
mother. — I was mercifully upheld under 
my trials, and have subsequently found 
that it has been good for me to bear the 
yoke in my youth. As my day was, 
a:nd has since been, so was strength 
afforded ; for ever blessed be a faithful 
God. — The last night of my mother's 
sufferings, as I sat by her dying pillow, 
I thought I could discover some traces 
of her mind looking through her delicate 
features. A feeling unknown before 
thrilled through my bosom, as I feared 
she was too far gone to speak any more. 



24 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

I retired from her bed-side and sat by 
the fire. What was my surprise when 
her natural voice arrested my ear, long 
unaccustomed to so cheering a sound. 
I flew to her pillow — it was my mother 
that spoke. I knelt and received her 
death-cold embrace. The moment was 
tender and interesting beyond description. 
She looked at me, and all the feelings 
of the mother rushed into her counte- 
nance. At that moment her memory 
gained strength, and she whispered that 
she had greatly abused me. In the tender- 
est manner conceivable she asked my for- 
giveness. Her look and voice were in a 
good degree natural: I understood her 
perfectly. But no language can describe 
my feelings in that hour. No one was 
present to witness the scene. She lan- 
guished a few hours, and died in the 
59th year of her age. With her last 



PARENTAGE AND HISTORY. 25 

sigh, I trust, that her sorrows ceased, 
and the days of her mourning were 
ended." 

We have here a beautiful example of 
filial affection. How faithful and tender 
she was, how wonderfully supported and 
rewarded ! Is it strange, if such a 
daughter considered the marks on her 
neck and breast made by an insane 
mother, and which she carried to the 
grave, more honorable than the scars of 
the warrior? 

Left an orphan in a time of great 
public calamity, she grave vent to her 
feelings in the following stanzas, on the 
death of her parents. Perhaps they will 
be quite welcome to the Christian reader. 

Beneath the weeping willow's shade 
My tender parents both are laid, 
Sweetly at rest: nor do they know 
What sorrows in my bosom flow. 

3 



26 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

How can I live without their aid? 
A thousand snares are round me laid: 
Distress on ev'ry side appears, 
My mind is fill'd with cares and fears. 



Where shall I fly to find relief? 

To whom make known my inmost grief? 

for a friend to guide my way, 

To check me kindly when I stray: 

The Friend, who promis'd to be near, 
When helpers fail, to soothe and cheer. 
Thus feeble, griev'd, and left alone, 
From day to day, I made my moan. 



At length a sound more soft, more sweet 
Than what is heard when angels meet. 
Struck on my ear, and reach' d my heart, 
And did blest peace and hope impart. 

I listen' d; caught the joyful word. 
It seem'd just spoken by the Lord. 
"Think not your cries have miss'd my ear; 
The fatherless I make my care. 



PARENTAGE AND HISTORY. 27 



" Come then to me with all your grief, 
I have the power to grant relief: 
I'll be your Parent, Guardian, Friend, 
And all your future ways defend. 

"It is enough, I come my Lord 
And sweetly rest upon thy Word. 
A joy divine springs in my breast, 
And gently lulls my cares to rest.** 



28 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 



CHAPTER II. 

She goes to reside with Mrs. Coombs. Mourns the death 
of her pastor. Teaches school. Is taken sick. Attends 
on the ministry of Eev. Samuel Hopkins. Unites with 
the church under the pastoral care of Rev. Samuel 
Spring. The Dark day. 

After the decease of her mother, she 
lingered for a time under the paternal roof; 
but being obliged to leave it, poor and 
penniless, she was kindly received by her 
half sister, Mrs. Wiatt, with whom she 
resided about a year. The next year, 
1777, she went by invitation to reside with 
her half-sister, Mrs. Coombs. With this 
worthy and pleasant family she had a 
home seven or eight years. About the 
time of this change of residence, she was 
called in the Providence of God to part 



DEATH OF HER PASTOR. 29 

with her pastor. Thus she speaks of him : 
^'I lost my spiritual guide, my worthy and 
beloved pastor, Rev. Jonathan Parsons. 
He was the esteemed minister and spiritual 
guide of my parents through this dreary 
wilderness. I hope ney are rejoicing 
together now in glory. — He was the per- 
son who initiated me into Christ's visible 
church; and from whose pious lips, I re- 
ceived public religious instruction, till I 
was twenty years of age. My dear 
almighty Friend, how does my heart 
swell with grateful emotions in reflecting 
upon thy fatherly care over me, during the 
first years of my pilgrimage, in giving me 
for a public instructor, a good man, a 
faithful minister, one who feared God, 
and eschewed evil. His death is a great 
loss to me at this time of life, under my 
peculiarly trying circumstances. But thy 
3=^ 



30 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

grace, O God, is sufficient for me, therefore 
will I hope.'^ 

In the summer of 1779, Miss Goodhue 
engaged in teaching, and had in her room 
about thirty girls. The labor was too 
hard ; and at the end of the quarter, she 
was taken sick with a fever, and was 
destitute of almost every comfort. But 
her mind was peaceful. She says, ^'In 
what language shall I record the merciful 
kindness of my heavenly Father 7 He has 
been kinder to me than the kindest of 
earthly parents. He has tranquilized my 
spirit, and given me such inward peace, 
that I found it sweet to be in his hands, 
and felt no disquietude from being alone. 
I had neither fire nor light to cheer the 
darksome hours. My fever was high; 
but my mind was unclouded. I have 
great reason for gratitude and praise. 

" The doctor saw a young lady in the 



HER SICKNESS. 31 

Street, and informed her of my situation. 
By noon I was supplied with an attentive 
nurse. My school bills were all paid; 
old friends, who had neglected me through 
the summer, now found their affections 
and sympathies awakened, and came with 
proffered attention. Mrs. Haskell and 
family were always near me to meet every 
want. Her husband, pious and kind as 
a father, prayed by my bed-side, and 
hinted many consoling ideas from the 
oracles of truth. Others, kind and good 
from my former meeting, came and sympa- 
thized and prayed with me. And Mr. 
E. Titcomb added good works to kind 
words, by slipping a twenty dollar bill 
into my hand, after praying earnestly 
for me. This was the more remarkable, 
as I had but little acquaintance with 
him. It was the Lord's doing, and mar- 
velous in my eyes. I will praise Him 



32 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

at the remembrance of his mercy, and 
leave it on record to the glory of his 
name." 

Among others invited to supply the 
vacant desk was Rev. Samuel Hopkins, 
afterwards the distinguished Dr. H., of 
Newport, Rhode Island. The subject of 
this narrative had a mind to appreciate, 
and a heart to receive instructions like 
those communicated by Mr. Hopkins; 
clear, deep, comprehensive, and strongly 
doctrinal. She heard him with profound 
attention, and was greatly aifected with 
his preaching. Though a stranger, he 
soon marked the interest with which 
she listened to the word of life ; and 
concluded that she was either a young 
disciple, or a serious inquirer on the 
subject of religion. He sought an ac- 
quaintance with her. 

The first interview is thus described. 



ATTENDS MR. HOPKINs' MINISTRY. 33 

'^ My mind was solemn, but not quite 
free from perturbation, which being no- 
ticed by Mr. Hopkins, he conversed for 
a few moments in a free and conde- 
scending manner, when my fears left 
me. He was now ready to introduce 
the subject he had so much at heart. 
He asked me how the truths, I had 
•heard him deliver, affected my mind, — 
whether I had any hope that I had 
experienced a renovation of heart, — how 
long I had been serious, — whether I did 
not think it my duty to unite with 
some church. In person he was large, 
in mien dignified, and his open, manly 
countenance beamed sweet benignity and 
benevolence. I loved him as a father, 
and revered him as a messenger of God, 
sent to comfort my desponding heart. 
I wanted to conceal nothing of my spirit- 
ual trials; and he attended to all my 



34 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

perplexities with paternal interest." This 
interview, and others, were remembered 
by her with gratitude, during life. Speak- 
ing of a pastoral visit, made by Mr. H. 
at the house of Mrs. Coombs, she says, 
'^His conversation was condescending, and 
kind, and before he left us, he prayed 
in a feeling and solemn manner. In- 
deed he seemed to me more like his 
divine Master, than any one I had ever 
seen." 

Mr. Hopkins soon left Newburyport, 
for Great Barrington, where he was after- 
wards settled. In the winter following 
his residence in N., he wrote to Abigail, 
inclosing in his letter one from his daugh- 
ter. Of this I find the following notice. 
^^I was affected with this token of 
fatherly affection, and soon returned an 
answer. Is not this good man's finding 
a poor disconsolate orphan, as I was, 



ATTENDS MR. HOPKINS' MINISTRY. 35 

in a large assembly, and pouring cor- 
dials into my fainting heart, a token 
for good?' Trust in God, O my soul, 
for I shall yet praise Him." 

How long the correspondence by letter 
continued I do not know, but the christ- 
ian friendship between this servant of 
Christ, and ^' a desolate orphan," con- 
tinued so long as he lived, and doubt- 
less, is since perpetuated in a better 
world. She confided in hia friendship 
and judgment, — drank in his instructions 
and followed his counsels. And certain- 
ly they had a decided influence upon 
her future life. 

In accordance with the advice of Mr. 
H. she attended meeting in the North 
Church, where Rev. Samuel Spring had 
been settled. This subjected her to new 
trials, and was indeed a cross. She 
says, *' Early in the spring of 1780, Mr. 



36 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

Spring called, and entered into conver- 
sation relative to my making a public 
profession of religion. He had repeated- 
ly conversed with me respecting my 
religious views and exercises; wished to 
know my present feelings, and proposed 
propounding me the next Lord's day, 
for admission into the church. As my 
health was feeble, and my exercises 
strong and solemn, I was almost over- 
come. My friends were opposed to my 
leaving my old meeting, and I had few 
acquaintances in the North Society. I 
felt shut out of society, and shut up to 
Him who is the Helper of the helpless. 
O that a sense of his unbounded good- 
ness and mercy to a worm so undeserv- 
ing, may ever keep me humble. I 
borrowed Edwards' Qualifications for 
church fellowship; that, and my Bible, 
were my chief directories. 



UNITES WITH THE CHURCH. 37 

On the day of the preparatory lec- 
ture, I went to meeting, heard an ex- 
cellent sermon from Romans, 7: 12. 
And then attended the meeting of the 
church. Two females were to be ex- 
amined with me. This was the most 
trying scene of my life, — my sensibility 
was keen, my health poor, my friends 
alienated, my fears great, lest I should 
not be accepted; I lived at a distance 
from the meeting, and was a stranger 
to almost the whole society. Soon Mr. 
Spring began to question me respecting 
my views of the Scriptures, and my 
exercises of mind. After questioning me 
himself, he requested the church to be 
particular, as I was a stranger. When 
I retired, I thought it probable they 
would not think it best to receive me 
at present, as I was young, and they 
had but little knowledge of me. Butj 
4 



38 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

it seemed to me of little importance what 
men might think of me. They might 
approve, when God would disapprove. 
In this train of thought. I was much 
comforted, when called to hear the result 
of the church. I was kindly received; 
but so strong were the exercises of my 
mind, that I was not able to walk 
home, and Deacon Thompson kindly 
took me in his chaise. It was April 
16, 1780, when the solemn transaction 
of dedicating myself publicly to the 
Lord took place. This being done, my 
old friends gave over all thoughts of 
my returning to my former meeting, 
and generally treated me kindly. But, 
my frequent sickness kept me constant- 
ly in debt; nor could I by the most 
rigid economy, prevent it. Doctor's bills, 
together with other expenses, were heavy, 
and there was no parental roof, to 



THE DARK DAY. 39 

take shelter under. But God was faith- 
ful, and unexpected ways were fre- 
quently opened for my relief." 

'^May 19, 1780. Thursday was our 
preparatory lecture, and though feeble, 
I thought of attending. Immediately after 
breakfast, I went to my chamber, and 
feeling depressed, I cast myself on my 
pillow. The room was uncommonly 
dark; a solemn stillness reigned all 
around. After a little while the cham- 
ber appeared so dark, that I felt alarmed, 
rose and went down stairs. At the door 
I met Mrs. Coombs, who with anxious 
countenance, asked if I had noticed the 

strange appearance of the sky? At that 
moment she opened the door, and sur- 
prise fell upon us.* The sky, toward 
which all eyes were turned, appeared 
of a yellowish hue, — no distinct cloud 
was visible, there was no motion of 



40 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

the air, sufficient to move a leaf, and 
darkness overshadowed the earth. The 
ship-yard was before our door, but no 
sound of the workman was heard. The 
cattle which had been turned to pasture 
came along homeward, lowing as they 
slowly returned. The birds were flutter- 
ing on the trees and hiding among the 
leaves, as when a thunder-storm is com- 
ing on. The fowls hastened to their 
roosting places. All nature seemed hushed, 
■as though Jehovah was about to make 
Himself known by some mighty act. 
Every eye was turned upward; every 
one inquiring, what is going to take 
place? Some asked. Is the judgment 
day approaching? 

'^ The vessels at the wharves, with 
sails loosened and colors unfurled, ap- 
peared as in mourning, on some great 
occasion. Not a color waved at mast- 



THE DARK DAY. 41 

headj nor a sail showed the least ap- 
pearance of any wind. The bells rung 
for meeting; the sailors poured into the 
house, and filled it. Mr. Spring, stand- 
ing in his place, cried, 'O earth, earth, 
earth, hear the word of the Lord ! ' In 
speaking, he excelled himself; the con- 
gregation was motionless, and heard 
with intense and solemn interest." 

She took tea at Mr. Spring's, and 
attended an evening meeting. At the 
close of it, she left the house with 
others who had lanterns. These soon 
turning a corner, scattered, and she was 
left in the profoundest darkness. Alarm- 
ed, she attempted to regain the house 
she had just left: she stumbled, arose, 
and was bewildered. If she advanced 
forward, the long wharf and river were 
there; on her right hand were the ship- 
yards, and saw-pits. She found herself 
4# 



42 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

among the timbers; unable to stand, 
she sat down. She could hear the 
water beat against the wharf; she was 
afraid to call for aid. At length she 
thought she heard the footsteps of a 
man. She spake, and was kindly an- 
swered. The man, was a kind-hearted 
sailor, in the employment of her- brother. 
Captain Coombs ; who conducted her to 
his house. The reUef of her mind was 
unspeakable. She says, ^^I felt distract- 
ed; but it was a moment for God to 
appear." Having found her home, she 
soon retired, and rested unusually well. 
Thus ended with her, the memorable 
dark day. 



SEVERE SICKNESS. 43 



CHAP TER III. 

Severe sickness, and gradual recovery. She goes out of 
town, to a rural retreat, for the benefit of purer air, 
and for more retirement. Ketums to town, and en- 
gages in teaching. 

In the winter of 1783, Miss Goodhue 
submitted to a painful surgical opera- 
tion, occasioned by a felon on one of 
her fingers. She had had severe parox- 
ysms of distress, and no rest, day nor 
night, for six or eight days. The 
operation was successful, and the cure 
perfect; but the great sufferings of a 
week, and the pain, and excitement of 
the operation brought on fever and 
sickness, which continued about a year. 
We omit many of the circumstances 
of this sickness, and contemplate simply 



44 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

the crisis of it; as it developed a very 

solemn, and interesting state of mind. 

^^ Having," she says, ^'endured these 

extreme sufferings, about four months, 

at mid-winter, 1784, I was suddenly 

seized as with the grasp of death. All 

who came into my chamber thought I 

was dying. Then it was that I first 

realized that I was mortal. From my 

earliest days, I had thought, and said 

much about dying. But now I felt 

that I was going; and a new train of 

thought absorbed all the powers of my 

soul. In taking me from my bed to a 

chair by the door, for the benefit of 

air, the curtain was moved, a ray of 

the sun darted across the room, and 

seemed to bear up myriads of particles 

of dust: so little, thought I, does the 

world appear. With me, time was; 

eternity had commenced, the eternal 



SEVERE SICKNESS. 45 

Nolo had begun. The antedeluvian age 
and the present, were blended. A thou- 
sand yearSj and a thousand days, were 
of like import. The morning of crea- 
tion, and the evening of time, were 
reduced to a point. Six thousand years 
struck off from eternity, seemed no 
more than a drop of water taken from 
the ocean. Yet on this point of time, 
hung all the vast concerns of eternity. 
God, eternity, the soul, now swallowed 
up every thought. 

Neighbors and acquaintances, physi- 
cian, and minister, were assembled in 
my chamber. My minister inquired of 
the doctor how long I might live, as 
he was about to pray for me. She 
may live twenty minutes, said the doc- 
tor. — What? live twenty minutes, when 
I had been in full expectation for some 
time, that the next rising breath would 



46 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

waft my immortal spirit into the imme- 
diate presence of my Judge ! I hoped 
for acceptance in sovereign mercy, 
through the adorable Redeemer; but, 
admitting the possibility of failure where 
my all was at stake, brought into lively 
exercise some feelings I have no name 
for: some I can name, — importunity, 
hope, dread, desire, anguish for sin, 
gratitude, love, pity for poor sinners ex- 
posed to destruction, with astonishment 
that those around me did not appear to 
believe that they too were mortal. All 
these feelings with conceptions, and ap- 
prehensions, that I cannot describe, 
wrought so powerfully upon my mind, 
and that again upon my feeble frame, 
that I sank to human view, as one 
dead. Before my heaving was gone, I 
heard the well known voice of my be- 
loved Mrs. Coombs, saying in a mourn- 



GOES OUT OF TOWN. 47 

ful tone, 'she is gone.' The little mole- 
hill, earthj then dropt; I can say no 
more, all was lost." 

How long this dear disciple re- 
mained unconscious of the scenes around 
her, is not known; probably, but a 
very short time. God had yet a great 
work for her to do; and He mercifully 
brought her back to the living world. 
From this time, she gradually and 
slowly recovered. ^ 

'^ Passing," she says, ^'a very inclem- 
ent winter, I met the approaching 
spring, with care and anxiety, I could 
but poorly sustain. I was so feeble I 
could not walk my chamber without 
assistance. I found it necessary to 
change my lodgings for the benefit of 
better air, and a more retired situation. 
When I named this to the family they 



48 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

were much opposed; but my minister, 
and physician, approved of my plan. 
My Refuge was the hving God; to him 
I cried, and he wonderfully sustained 
me. I consulted with my faithful friend, 
Miss M. J., (her guardian angel, she 
sometimes pleasantly called her;) and 
she succeeded in obtaining the place I 
desired. I waited patiently for the time 
of my removal. At length came the 
charming month of June, with fragrance 
on her wings. The singing of birds, 
was again heard, and the heart so long 
desolate, received joyous impressions; 
hope revived." At length by the assist- 
ance of the dear friend, Miss J. she 
left the chamber in which she had suf- 
fered so much and so long, and took 
a seat in the chaise. She said she 
"felt safe as though attended by a 
band of angels; and a pleasant ride of 



GOES OUT OF TOWN. 49 

three or four miles was very refreshing. 
'^At length the humble mansion ap- 
peared; the aged patriarch was stand- 
ing in the door; the matron appeared, 
and looked as lovely as Eve, before 
her expulsion from Eden; then came 
the daughter, who was to be my nurse, 
and kindly assisted me into the house. 
After a little rest, I found my spirits 
quite refreshed by the charming appear- 
ance of the river, and a large tree in 
front of the window in my room, 
whose wide-spreading branches seemed 
to invite the weary pilgrim to their 
friendly shade." 

She remained in this quiet, pleasant 
retreat about four months, when she 
returned to town; and went to reside 
in the family of her brother, where she 
remained a year and a half. 

^^ November 4th. My brother arrived 
5 



50 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

in harbor in good health. He appears 
very friendly; it is God who makes 
him so. As the cold weather advances, 
my strength increases. Through divine 
goodness, I begin to do without medi- 
cine. This gives me great pleasure, as 
my physician's bill has for a long time 
given me great anxiety, seeing no way 
to pay it. My sickness has been long, 
and very expensive. I have suffered 
much from perplexity, and doubt not 
that my health has returned the more 
slowly as my cares have been con- 
stant." 

In the Spring of 1786, she went to 
reside with her sister, Mrs. Brett, at 
the North end of the town. Here she 
opened a school, and at length had as 
many scholars as she desired. ^' It was 
very soothing to my feelings," she ob- 
serves, ^'to think that I should more 



ENGAGES IN TEACHING. 61 

than pay for my board, and be able 
to cancel some of my debts. Man ap- 
points, but God has a perfect right to 
disappoint. How vain to think of find- 
ing rest in this restless world ! But 
ere long, I trust, I shall be called to 
solace my soul in the paradise above. 
Yet why do I hope? Certainly, not 
because there is any thing in me, or 
that I ever have done, or can do, to 
merit divine favors. It is because in 
Christ, the Son of the living God, there 
is merit enough to satisfy divine justice, 
in regard to the greatest sinner, who 
truly turns to God. As I hope I have, 
through sovereign grace alone, been 
brought to abhor my sinful nature, and 
my many actual transgressions, I have 
at times great peace in believing that 
I shall one day be delivered from 
every thing offensive to my adorable 



52 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

Saviour. O cheering thought! O God, 
enable me to bear up yet a little longer 
under the pressure of many trials, 
which may still abide me, hoping that 
when a few more wearisome days and 
nights are passed, I shall be released 
from all my sufferings, and received 
into the immediate presence of the 
blessed God, where are pleasures for 
evermore." 

A few extracts from her diary, penned 
during the period embraced in this 
chapter, may be inserted here. 

"All the solid comfort I find is what 
I get from meditation on the character 
of the dear Redeemer ; whose glory 
fills my soul with love and delight, 
whenever I get a glimpse of it. Oh, 
to be free from this body of sin and 
death, that I may be ever with the 
Lord. Welcome trials that keep me 



EXTRACTS FROM HER DIARY. 53 

humble; that keep the adversary from 
taking an advantage of me ! O my 
God, give me strength to overcome the 
foes within. In the end may I come 
off victorious, being enabled to cry, ^O 
death, where is thy sting; O grave, 
where is thy victory!'" 

*' August 31st. This day, seven years 
ago, followed my dear father to the 
grave. Great has been the goodness 
of Jehovah, in supporting me under 
this great trial. Surely, O Lord, thou 
art a God of faithfulness and truth. 
Thou hast kindly upheld me in my 
sorrowful hours, and raised up friends 
for my aid. In sickness, thou hast 
been my Protector, Guardian, and Friend. 
Such kindness deserves my warmest 
gratitude, my heart, my life, my all.'' 

^' April 7th. Soon after I awoke, found 
my heart going out in strong desires 
5=^ 



54 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

for the prosperity of Zion; felt an un- 
usual love towards my christian friends, 
and for an hour or two, had a great 
sense of divine things, and saw in a 
faint measure the beauties of holiness. 
But, alas ! my sins caused a thick cloud 
to darken the glorious sight. — O most 
merciful God, is it presumptuous in me 
to hope for mercy, since thy dear Son 
has died for the chief of sinners? Look 
then, upon thine anointed, and through 
Him, dart one ray of comfort into my 
languishing soul." 

^^ November 14th. This morning my 
circumstances seemed to resemble those 
of the Syro-Phoenician woman. To 
God I cried for hours for relief But 
on account of misimprovement of past 
favors I was afraid my prayer would 
be disregarded; still from the considera- 
tion, that God was willing to forgive 



EXTRACTS FROM HER DIARY. 55 

the penitentj I took courage to perse- 
vere in calling upon Him. — ' He hath 
given meat to them that fear him; He 
will ever be mindful of his covenant.' 
The faithfulness of God, was a strong 
argument for me to plead with him. 
Although conscious that I had broken 
covenant; yet, as it was my sincere de- 
sire to renew covenant with him, I trusted 
that he would accept my prayer, and 
give me a token that he was recon- 
ciled. And, O, astonishing condescen- 
sion ! infinite mercy ! Before ten o'clock, 
the token was given. The very want 
which was so pressing, was supplied. 
Is it possible ! I exclaimed ; do I de- 
ceive myself? No; He has shown me 
mercy; He has heard my cry. ^I am 
poor and needy, yet the Lord thinketh 
upon me : thou art my Help, and my De- 
liverer, O my God ! ' O ye bright ser- 



56 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

aphs, that encircle His throne, and 
chant forth glad anthems of praise, 
unite with a poor mortal in singing 
praises to unbounded love." 



57 



CHAPTER IV. 

Severe affliction occasioned by the death of her broth- 
er's v^ife. Takes the charge of his family. Eemains 
in it for some years; then goes to Franklin. 

The last chapter left the subject of this 
memoir fully employed, engaged in 
teaching about thirty girls. It was a 
delightful charge; the labor and care 
of which was, perhaps, too much for 
her physical strength; but she attended 
on it with pleasure. In addition to 
higher motives, — the consciousness of 
doing good, and guiding so many im- 
mortal minds, she was cheered with 
the thought of supporting herself, and 
being relieved from that state of depend- 
ence in which, by reason of feeble 
health and sickness, she had so long 



58 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

been kept. But how little do we know 
of the future? Her condition and cir- 
cumstances were suddenly changed. 

In a letter to a friend, dated August 
31, 1787, she says, '' When I dismissed 
my little school, on the 27th, I Httle 
thought that I should never see them 
again clustering around me for instruc- 
tion. I was indeed, hardly able to sit 
with them that afternoon, but had no 
idea but the next morning would bring 
.them in again. 

^^ The morning came, I was called to 
go out in the rain: — I stepped into the 
carriage, and went to the mournful 
scene : but I can give you no idea of 
my feelings upon entering the dwelling. 
The poor little children in their night- 
clothes, sat together in a group weep- 
ing, and for a short time, did not 
observe me. They felt alone, and were 



DEATH OF HER BROTHER'S WIFE. 59 

mourning with uncontrolled grief. The 
poor little creatures, had come from 
their chamber to be dressed, and were 
informed by the maid, that their moth- 
er was dead. Even the youngest, not 
two years old, was weeping bitterly. 
When I went to them they clung 
around me, and sobbing, cried Ma is 
dead. My poor sister lay before me 
prostrate in death. She was suddenly 
called for. My brother, alas ! if living, 
on the bosom of the great deep. And 
this day being the anniversary of my 
father's death, brought that scene up 
before me. All in the house were 
strangers to me. The maid and the 
nurse were running from room to room. 
Soon I got the children dressed, and 
soothing their little troubled hearts with 
tender affection, they became composed; 
^nd the little one, clinging to my 



60 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

bosom, soon lost all her sorrows. The 
first forty-eight hours, I got no sleep. 
The house was in great confusion: 
now a melancholy stillness pervades it. 
The morning of the second day, when 
those who had watched with the corpse 
went out, I came down stairs, and 
entered the parlor, where silently lay 
its late mistress. The babe lay in a 
drawer; I took it, and laid it beside 
its unconscious mother. I stood by the 
corpse; but what were my reflections! 
Where now, is the immortal spirit, late 
a resident here? What were your feel- 
ings when the women around you said. 
Fear not^ for you have borne another 
son; and your reply was cut short by 
death? As the voice of rejoicing died 
on your ear, and the light withdrew 
from your eye, ere you beheld your 
beautiful babe, what were the first ob- 



jects of the eternal world, presented to 
your view? Did you behold the King 
of glory, the crucified Saviour, smiling 
benignantly upon you, and hear har- 
monious sounds from harps of angels, 
responding to the songs of the redeem- 
ed? But I must change my reflections. 
How altered, this stately frame, this 
late ruddy countenance ! No words go 
from those lips to children, or to do- 
mestics; all is silent. Thy voice died 
with an unfinished sentence on thy lips, 
thine eyes are closed. How composed 
this countenance^ which was often dis- 
turbed with domestic cares ! The babe 
sleeps with the parent. They will wake 
no more till the resurrection morning, 
when the trumpet of God shall call 
both small and great to judgment. Sleep 
on — I turn to the cares of the family. 
May I be found at duty's post, though 
6 



62 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

all my plans be not executed. Since 
death tarries not for mortals, be it my 
care to be ready. Be my heart sancti- 
fied by divine grace, and it matters 
little when, or in what shape, he 
comes. Satisfied with life, I would at 
my Father's call, stretch my glad 
wings, and leave the world and all its 
joys, to those who prize them." 

In her Journal she says, '^My new 
situation so unexpectedly, and suddenly 
opened upon me, brings cares, and 
company, I have little relish for. How- 
ever, God is wonderfully supporting me, 
and my health is improved. My trials 
have so affected my spirits, I cannot 
look to the world for solace. I must 
have comfort in God, or go disconso- 
late to the grave. My brother has ar- 
rived, sick, apparently dangerous. Upon 
being brought to the door in a car- 



NEW RESPONSIBILITIES. 63 

riage, I went to receive him: but what 
were my feeUngs when I saw him 
pale and emaciated, and discovered that 
his mind was wandering! I carefully 
avoided saying any thing that would 
lead to mournful reflections, got him to 
his chamber, kept company from him, 
and called in two eminent physicians." 
Captain Goodhue soon began to amend, 
and after a few weeks, by the advice 
of his physician, again took the com- 
mand of his vessel, and went to sea 
for the winter. This fixed his sister in 
his family, and devolved upon her 
much labor and care. Duty called, 
and she cheerfully devoted herself to 
the service. In this situation, she con- 
tinued more than six years. She was 
mother to the motherless children. Her 
tender care and kindness were duly 
appreciated. She says, ^^My brother 



64 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

has endeared himself to me by his 
thousand kindnesses; and the children 
seem as if they were my own." 

We find httle from her pen, during 
this period. The following letter, for- 
warded to her brother, after he had 
left his house, and before he sailed on 
one of his voyages, is worthy of pres- 
ervation. 

Newbury port ^ February 22, 1788. 
My Dear Brother : 

The repeated instances of 
your kindness, deeply affect my heart, 
and excite the warmest desires that you 
may meet with a divine reward. Once 
more the voice of Providence calls you 
from me. — I feel the trial. A short 
separation is painful, and gives many 
uncomfortable reflections. But what do 
I endure, when the thought forces itself 



LETTER TO HER BROTHER. 65 

upon me, that we may meet no more. 
Life is short and uncertain, and yet in 
it, we have every thing to do for eter- 
nity. How important, that we seek 
first the kingdom of God, and His 
righteousness? Having the friendship of 
God, we are safe; without it we cannot 
be secure in any situation. O my 
brother, do not let the hurry of busi- 
ness so engross your attention, as to 
make you forgetful of the hour when 
your disembodied spirit, and a holy 
God, must meet. Live so, that through 
the merits of the blessed Jesus, you 
may give up your account with joy. 
I expect to see you no more before 
you sail. My heart goes with you. 
May you be the care of a kind and 
watchful Providence. May favoring winds 
waft you to your intended port. May 
a consciousness that the eye of the 
6* 



66 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

Almighty is continually upon you, keep 
you from sin. When trafficking with 
strangers, remember the golden rule, 
and do to others, as you would have 
others do to you. The children are all 
well. I can only add, that all your 
concerns, with the dear objects of pater- 
nal love, deeply interest the feelings of 
your ever affectionate sister. 

Abby Goodhue. 

The mutual love and confidence 
which reigned in this family, during 
the six 3^ears and more, that Miss 
Goodhue resided in it, must have made 
it a sunny period in her history. But 
those pleasant years soon passed away. 

She became convinced that a change 
in her circumstances was desirable, and 
important. She needed rest from labor, 
and relief from care. She says in ref- 



GOES TO FRANKLIN. 67 



erence to this, '^My minister, and the 
church of my early connection, with a 
large circle of beloved acquaintance, all 
put in their claims for me to remain 
in town. But looking a little beyond 
the tender excitement the change would 
produce, I became fixed in my mind, that 
it would be best for me to leave town, 
and go some way into the country to 
board." Accordingly, she made her ar- 
rangements, and went to spend the 
winter of 1793, in the family of the 
late Dr. Emmons. 



68 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEAKS. 



CHAPTER V. 

Miss Goodhne's marriage. Eemoval to Newcastle. Or- 
ganization of tlie cliurch. Birth and death of her 
twin children. 

We come now, to the marriage of Miss 
Goodhue. Eev. Kiah Bayley had com- 
menced his studies with Mr. Emmons, 
about two months before Miss Goodhue 
came into the family; they were stran- 
gers, thrown together by the Providence 
of God. It required no great skill to 
discern that in her feeble form was 
hid a diamond worth possessing. Her 
heart was alive to kind attentions. Soon, 
a mutual affection sprung up between 
them. In the spring, finding that her 
funds were low, Mr. Bayley took her to 
Harvard, to spend the summer in her 



MISS Goodhue's marriage. 69 

uncle's family. In the Autumn of 1794, 
they were married at Harvard, by Rev. 
William Emerson, minister of the place. 
The winter after, she spent at his 
father's, in Newbury, in Vermont. 

Mr. Bayley was now a licensed preach- 
er of the gospel, and for more than two 
years Mr. and Mrs. B. lived in different 
places, where the Providence of God 
seemed to lead them. In this time, they 
journeyed considerably, and enlarged the 
circle of their acquaintance. Mr. Bayley 
went to Newcastle in Maine, in the 
spring of 1797, where, after preaching 
about six months, he was settled as 
pastor. Mrs. B. spent the summer 
chiefly in Franklin and Newburyport. 
In the autumn, when just recovering 
from a fever, she embarked in a small 
coaster, for Newcastle, where she arrived, 
on the 4th of November. 



70 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

^^Here," as she remarks, in her jour- 
nal, ^'in the vale of obscurity, I had 
opportunity, amidst many cares and in- 
terruptions, to reflect on the way, a 
wise and holy God has led me, in this 
wilderness, for these many years, to try 
and to prove me; and I see much 
reason for humiliation, and self-abase- 
ment." 

As Mr. and Mrs. Bayley were now 
quietly settled in their new home, which 
promised to be permanent, it may be 
proper to say a word respecting their 
location. 

Newcastle is pleasantly situated, be- 
tween two rivers ; having the Sheeps- 
cott on the west, and the Damariscotta 
on the east. It was settled about as 
early as Boston. The inhabitants were 
dreadfully annoyed by the Indians : 
twice, they were driven off; and they 



ORGANIZATION OF THE CHURCH. 71 

were often harassed, until the capture of 
Quebec, by Gen. Wolfe* There had been 
a church, and one or two ministers settled 
there, but now, moral desolation reigned. 
The church was extinct ; and for ten or 
twelve years, there had been no stated 
preaching. There were respectable fam- 
ilies ; the people were enterprising, good 
intellectual and moral materials to be 
improved. They wished to have a 
minister, rightly judging that the stated 
ministrations of the gospel would pro- 
mote their secular prosperity, and their 
respectability. Over this people, Mr. 
Bayley was ordained, in October, 1797. 
A church of three male members had 
been previously organized. There were 
no females in it, until the next year, 
when the pastor's wife and two other 
women were received. Such was the 



72 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

field of labor, into which the subject of 
this narrative was introduced. 

On the sixth of March, 1798, she 
became the mother of two sons; but 
they were not permitted to remain; one 
lived fourteen, the other, twenty-one 
days. 

Among her papers, is the following 
notice. ''Twin sons born — soon re- 
called by their rightful Owner." As 
the fond mother gazed with joy on the 
little objects of her love, she began her 
grateful song. 

Softly; welcome little strangers, 
Welcome to your mother's breast: 
Grateful, from your Maker's hand, 
I receive you, little guests. 

Thus the tender mother sung. 
Fondly call'd the babes her own. 
As around her heart they clung. 
Planting sorrows there unknown. 



EXTRACTS FROM HER JOURNAL. 73 

But sweet babes you are not blam'd, 
Knowing not your mother's love; 
Errand done; you took your fligbt, 
Stretch.' d your wings for worlds above. 

Yet again she hopes to see you, 
Not as here with weeping eyes; 
Resting- in your Saviour's arms, 
On His throne above the skies. 

Journal. ^^O my God how long ere 
it will please thee to grant my desire; 
to give me an opportunity to praise thy 
name in the sanctuary with those who 
delight in thy worship? I long for a seat 
in thy house; for the society of thy 
friends. Have pity upon me, O my 
God, and support me under this heavy 
trial, soften my heart and prepare me 
for usefulness. I want to be doing 
something for thee. Give me opportunity, 
and my tongue shall praise thee, and 
my pen shall record thy faithfulness. — 
7 



74 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

My life has been a' continued series of 
trials: but through every period mercy 
has been conspicuous ; and thy power 
many times has been displayed to the 
admiration of friends, and to the won- 
der of my own mind. Oft from the 
depths of grief have I turned my stream- 
ing eyes, toward thy holy habitation; 
then did heavenly consolations solace my 
heart, and keep me from sinking. On 
the bed of sickness, racked with pain, 
virhen all around were strangers, I found 
comfort. I could tell my God all my 
cares, and in his faithfulness and love 
find peace in believing. I was enabled 
to hope in his mercy. O that 1 could 
now live wholly to his glory ! Songs of 
deliverance and of mercy are put into my 
mouth. May my heart be attuned to 
praise. Instead of being shut up in 
the chamber of sickness, as many times 



EXTRACTS FROM HER JOURNAL. 75 

I have been, far from any sympathiz- 
ing heart, I am now enjoying a home 
with my beloved companion, from whose 
friendship and care I derive many bless- 
ings. How good is God! I must record 
his goodness and remember his faith- 
fulness. When homeless I asked of my 
heavenly Father some little spot, I could 
call my own. I hoped in his power 
and mercy; and now I enjoy the 
favor. — I mourned when separated from 
my brother's children whom I tenderly 
loved; I told the Lord my sorrows, and 
he comforted me by giving me two 
lovely babes at a birth. The gift was 
precious, though it was soon taken 
away. A few days the little strangers 
soothed my sorrow, and then returned 
to him who lent them." 
In the summer of 1798, Mr. Bayley 



76 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

was engaged in building a house, and 
on the first of November moved into it. 
Journal. ^^ November 4th, 1798. Praise 
the Lord, O my soul, and all that is 
within me bless his holy name. I am 
now, through the good hand of a faith- 
ful God, brought to a habitation I am 
allowed to call my own. For this 
favor I have for many years been 
pleading with him who setteth the 
solitary in families, and my petitions 
which I have often presented with sighs 
and tears are this day granted. With 
holy gratitude, O thou giver of all I 
possess, I would receive the favor, and 
as humbly devote it to thy service. O 
come now and fill this house with thy 
presence. We dedicate it to Thee. 
Make it a house of prayer and praise. 
May the poor and solitary ever receive 
due attention within these walls. May 



EXTRACTS FROM HER JOURNAL. 77 

the sorrowing orphan never go from 
these doors disheartened. Against the 
weary traveler may they never be 
closed. And, O, may the soul that would 
resort here for instruction find the most 
encouraging attention. May the embas- 
sadors of Jesus here be kindly received, 
and entertained as their circumstances 
require. For thy sake, O God, in 
whose name they go forth to teach and 
to preach the Gospel, may we ever be 
disposed to honor and respect them. 
We are stewards put here to occupy 
for their Master. O make us faithful." 
" December. Having experienced the 
tender mercies of my heavenly Father, 
far beyond what I have many years 
dared to hope, I would gratefully ac- 
knowledge the same, and in all the 
sincerity of heart-felt gratitude leave my 

testimony that God is faithful, and 

7* 



78 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

abundant in mercy. My blessed Saviour, 
through whose merits I have a dwell- 
ing-place lent me in the wilderness, 
had not where to lay his head, when 
he sojourned in this world. May this 
thought so often and powerfully strike 
my mind, as to prevent me from feel- 
ing as though the habitation were my 
own. May I be disposed to treat all 
who enter the door, with propriety. 
The friends of God have claims upon 
me, for the kindest attention ; and I 
would, for their dear Master's sake, 
respect and serve them to the ex- 
tent of my ability. To the aged, 
of my husband's flock, I would ever be 
particularly attentive. I pray that I may 
have benevolence, wisdom and strength 
to wait on the middle-aged, youth and 
children, as God shall give opportunity. 
While it shall please my heavenly 



EXTRACTS FROM HER JOURNAL. 79 

Father to continue me in this comfort- 
able habitation, I pray for grace to con- 
duct wisely and kindly in it, and when 
I am removed, may I find a place of refuge. 
Blessed be God ! I cried unto Him in 
my distress, and he heard me. Now, 
will I praise his name, and leave my 
testimony, that he is ever mindful of 
his covenant. He has had compassion 
on my suflferings, given me a comfort- 
able home, caused me to keep house, 
and made me the joyful mother of 
children. Surely, the promises which he 
enabled me to rest upon, he has ful- 
filled. Blessed be his holy name." 

Such were the feelings with which 
this worthy woman consecrated her 
house to the Lord; and many were the 
witnesses, that with fidelity, she carried 
out these purposes and aspirations in 
her future conduct. 



80 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 



CHAPTER VI. 

Notices of Mrs. Bayley's labors and devotional exercises 
in Newcastle, during the period of four years. 

A BISHOP or pastor must be given to 
hospitality ; and it is essential that his 
wife be like-minded. We left the sub- 
ject of this narrative in a new house, 
thankful to God that she might call 
it her own. Her gratitude was not in 
view of personal possession merely, or 
of comfort, present and prospective : but 
she was thankful that, together with a 
pleasant resting-place for herself and 
family, she could furnish a temporary 
one to the servants of the Lord, and 
could kindly receive all who called. 
Like the pious Shunamite of old, she 
also prepared a chamber for the man of 



DEVOTIONAL EXERCISES. 81 

God ; and when he came, if she had no 
female assistant, she cheerfully waited 
on him herself. How well she suc- 
ceeded those can say, who had the 
pleasure of sharing her hospitality. It 
is believed that none called who did 
not desire to call again. 

Her love of the Sabbath and of the 
house of God was strong and permanent. 
The Sabbath was her delight, the holy 
of the Lord and honorable. 

Journal. ^^ April, 1799. Yesterday I 
had ardent desires to attend public wor- 
ship : but the weather was too inclement 
for my feeble state of health; and I 
trust I was resigned to the Divine will. 
My mind was sweetly composed. I 
thought of the happy employment of 
heaven, and longed for preparation to 
join the holy society whose dispositions 
all are love. I thought much of dear 



82 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

friends scattered abroad in different 
places ; and I felt a spirit of prayer. As 
I mused the fire burned, and I had fer- 
vent desires that ail 1 loved might be 
beloved of God. I thought of my dear 
husband in the sanctuary, and prayed 
that his labors might be blessed for the 
good of his people. It was delightful to 
be alone, and I had a prevailing belief 
that God would in due time, grant the 
desires of my soul. Thus in blessing 
God with a thankful heart, the happy 
hours rolled away. I desired that all 
around me would join with me in loving 
and praising a holy God.'' 

'^January 1, 1801. A new year is 
dawning upon me. O, that I may be 
disposed to dedicate myself, my all, to 
the service of my God. Heavenly Father, 
accept my desire to live for thee ; com- 
municate of thy love to my soul, and 



DEVOTIONAL EXERCISES. 83 

make me joyful in thy salvation. Make 
me willing to bear all my sufferings, for 
I know that I am chastened less than 
my sins deserve. Give me all that for- 
titude and patience which I need in this 
day of sorrow, that wisdom and pru- 
dence which are necessary to keep me 
from dishonoring thee. Suffer me not 
to languish for those enjoyments, which 
thy Providence calls me to relinquish. 
Had I all that this world can afford, it 
could not make me happy without thy- 
self. O my Father, give me what I 
most desire, an heart expanded to receive 
thy love." 

'' January 10th. I had the privilege 
this forenoon of being alone. One mo- 
ment spent in near access to the mercy- 
seat, through the glorious Mediator, is 
preferable to ten thousand spent in 
wordly enjoyments. How delightful to 



84 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

be able to cry aloud to God without 
restraint; to weep and sigh at his feet, 
unseen, unheard by mortals. Here I 
find solace for a wounded heart. Jesus 
knows my maladies, and when I can 
but touch the hem of His garment, I 
am made whole. O let me enter those 
sacred seats above, and after all the toils 
of life begin an everlasting Sabbath.'^ 

"March My brother's losses at sea 

seriously affect me. I have a selfish, 
proud heart that needs to be humbled. 
Lord, mould it into thy likeness; and to 
this end sanctify ail the dealings of 
Providence." 

" July 7th. Through abundant mercy 
I have been supported. As I am feeble 
and without company, I felt dispirited 
in view of my husband's journey; and 
my spirits were oppressed with gloom. 
But I am now free from that indescribable 



DEVOTIONAL EXERCISES. 85 

distress, and contented without him, 
without my children, and in my present 
solitary state. It would be pleasant to 
pass the day in reading and meditation, 
but duty calls me to another employ- 
ment, and I go about my work with a 
willing mind. 

^'July 10th. The week thus far has 
been more comfortable than usual ; I 
have been but little burdened with 
worldly cares or labor, and had but lit- 
tle interruption in my retirement. O that 
this refreshment may prepare me for 
what new scenes await me! Blessed be 
God for making my retirement so pleas- 
ant; for the delight I have had in 
reading his holy Word; and for the con- 
tentment I feel, separated from relatives 
and friends. I complain of nothing, but 
want of disposition to love and serve 
my God. 

8 



86 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

''July 15. Now I go to my domestic 
labors, pleading that I may be kept by 
Almighty power, through the remaining 
hours of the day, from all iniquity. If 
alone, may my heart be engaged in 
examination of its feelings, exercises and 
motives, joined with sincere and fervent 
ejaculations, that I may aim at the 
divine glory in all I do. If in company, 
may my conduct be becoming one pro- 
fessing godliness, my words few and 
dictated by right feelings. Now, Lord, 
enable me to watch as well as pray, and 
lead me not into temptation. 

''August 19. This morning a number 
of poor Indians came within my doors, 
in tattered garments, and in very pitiable 
circumstances. Yet when I asked them 
if they did not suffer, they said, No. I 
asked them, if they had a house like 
mine whether they would be willing to 



DEVOTIONAL EXERCISES. 87 

live as the English do 1 They said, No ; 
they had rather hve and walk as Indians 
do. I asked them if they did not know it 
was wrong to go about on the Sabbath? 
YeSj was the reply; but with so little 
feeling as made it evident, they had no 
conscience about it. Why am I made 
to differ in circumstances and feelings 
from them, when by nature I am no 
better? Lord make me thankful and 
prayerful. As thou art disposing me to 
impart to them a portion of food, do 
Thou of thy rich mercy impart to them 
of the bread of life. I can do something 
for their bodies; but little for their souls. 
I commend them to thy mercy, praying 
for a heart to praise and extol Thee for 
distinguishing goodness. 

^^ August 27. Yesterday I had some 
refreshing moments in the house of God, 
while the nature of true holiness was 



88 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. , 

clearly exhibited. It was sweet to my 
heart and what I longed to be made 
perfect in. Blessed be God for giving 
me relish for moral excellence. 

^^I hope God is about showing mercy to 
his people by pouring down upon them 
his Holy Spirit. Display, O God, thy 
sovereign grace among them, own the 
labors of thy servant, and make him 
abundantly successful in winning his 

flock to the Redeemer. Last evening 

and this morning I was happy in wait- 
ing on company, who were all ministers 
of the Gospel. Blessed be God for hon- 
oring me sometimes, with this service. 

''January 1, 1802. In the commence- 
ment of this new year I have many 
things to ask for at the throne of grace : 
but one thing is needful; a sanctified, 
holy heart. Bestow this gift, O God of 
mercy; — deny whatever thou wilt. I 



DEVOTIONAL EXERCISES. 89 

am filled with shame under a sense of 
barrenness, unfruitfulness, and want of 
zeal in thy service. My last year has 
carried a poor report to heaven. Lord 
forgive my unnumbered trangressions, 
and give me grace ^o live for the future 
more to thy glory than I have ever 
done. 

"February 1. To-day I can express 
the sentiments of my heart in the lan- 
guage of Newton : 

'I asked tlie Lord that I might grow,' &c. 

"I am filled with loathing and self-ab- 
horrence on account of the vileness of 
my nature, and am ashamed to look 
again to God for pardoning mercy. Yet 
I must obtain mercy or be miserable. 

'^February 14, Sabbath. Bless the Lord, 
O my soul, and forget not his faithful- 
ness, his power, his compassion. I cried 

unto Him in my distress, and he has 

8=^ 



90 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

heard me. Yea, He will ever be mind- 
ful of those who call upon him in 
trouble. 

''February 15. Grant, O God, that I 
may meet Thee in all the events of this 
week Avith right feelings. In my solitary 
moments be Thou the solace of my 
heart: in company be my keeper and 
director, supporter and preserver from all 
sin. O keep me from dishonoring thy 
name. All my dependence is in Thee ! 

''February 25. A solemn season this 
forenoon in the house of God. I went out 
in sorrow on account of the sinfulness 
of my heart, and while these precious 
words were spoken from, "Compel them 
to come in," my mind was filled Avith 
mingled sensations of grief and pleasure. 
O thou adorable Son of God, who hast 
prepared a feast of the richest dainties, 
that starving, perishing souls may eat 



DEVOTIONAL EXERCISES. 91 

and live, prepare my heart to accept 
what thy mercy offers. 

^^ In one of my sorrowful hours the past 
week, when I retired to my chamber to 
weep in secret, I took up Rippon's Selec- 
tion of Hymns ; when on the first page 
I cast my eye, I found my own feelings 
thus beautifully expressed: 

* Jesus, lover of my soul,' &c. 

''After this, for a short time, my spirits 
were sweetly quieted. 

''June 6. While I am denied the priv- 
ilege of attending public worship, Lord, 
give me true submission to thy will. O, 
my compassionate Redeemer, pity and 
support and bring me safely through my 
tiresome pilgrimage to the rest which re- 
maineth for thy ransomed ones! 

" Blessed be God for all the way he 
has led me in this wilderness. My jour- 
ney has been for the most part weari- 



92 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

some; tempestuous winds have beat up- 
on me, and many dark nights of sorrow- 
have passed over me. I have traveled 
many thorny paths with a burdened heart, 
feeble frame and sinking spirits, and oft 
times I have been ready to cry out in 
anguish in view of the next painful 
step. Repeated and long sickness has 
w^asted my strength, complicated sorrows 
have drunk up my spirits, so that often 
I have been without consolation. So 
stupid and inattentive to duty have I 
been that there was need of stripe upon 
stripe and wound upon wound, to show 
me the folly of my ways, and the evil of 
my heart. O the goodness of God ! How 
it shines in all the methods he has 
taken to bring me acquainted with his 
true character. Adored be his wisdom 
and mercy, — glory be given to his holy 
name ! The day before Luther died, he 



DEVOTIONAL EXERCISES. 93 

rejoiced in expectation of knowing all 
the saints in heaven whom he had known 
on earth. I hope one day, that I shall 
know that good man in glory. 

^'September 14. Though I find but few 
resting days, and many sorrowful ones, 
I would ever be found submissive, pa- 
tient, grateful. 

'^ December. After passing a quiet day, 
God is giving me pleasant, instructive 
company this evening ; Rutherford's Let- 
ters to Christian Friends, while he was in 
prison. The spirit he manifests is most 
excellent ; worth going to prison, or to 
the furnace to obtain. Lord grant that 
my trials may bring me to experience 
something of his heavenly temper. 

^' While my husband is gone to his lec- 
ture, help me to plead for a blessing to 
accompany his labors. May my heart be 
enlarged in praying with him for the 



94 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

prosperity of Zion. Visit me in my re- 
tirement with thy love — - make my cham- 
ber a Bethel — my heart a temple for thy 
residence. Grant that I may hold com- 
munion with Thee, through the Son of 
thy love, and be prepared by communi- 
cations of divine love to run with pa- 
tience the race that is set before me ! " 



DEVOTIONAL EXERCISES. 95 



CHAPTER VII. 

Devotional exercises. Fonnation of a female cent Society. 
Commencement of a monthly female prayer meeting. 
Reception of an unprotected young woman into the 
family. Devotional exercises. 

^* My kingdom is not of this world," said 
the blessed Saviour. This is clearly and 
strikingly evident in the religious expe- 
rience of the true believer. The kingdom 
of Christ within him is spiritual and in- 
visible. It is not meat and drink, pom- 
pous show and external service; but 
righteousness and peace and joy in the 
Holy Ghost. His thoughts and affections 
are on things above, where Christ sit- 
teth at the right hand of God; his hopes 
and fears, joys and sorrows, purposes and 
motives, respect principally the future and 



96 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

eternal state. The man of the world, 
rich or learned, pleasure-loving or am- 
bitiouSj may turn away in disgust from 
narratives of the experience of the humble 
christian; yet it is none the less impor- 
tant. 

It is then with pleasure that we resume 
our narrative, and record some of the 
reflections and devotional exercises of an 
eminent disciple. 

''January I, 1803. May my first quiet 
moments be devoted to praise. O how 
good has God been — how wonderful in 
kindness ! Lord, imprint the conscious- 
ness of it in characters indelible on my 
heart. 

*' February 5, Sabbath. I have been able 
to read most of this blessed day. My long 
confinement from the house of God is a tri- 
al which bears heavily on my spirits ; and 
my many infirmities keep me in a con- 



DEVOTIONAL EXERCISES. 



97 



stant state of suffering. I pray that these 
afflictions may serve to purify my heart 
from sin, and prepare me for the rest 
which remaineth for the people of God. 

''March 13, Sabbath. Awoke early, with 
the consciousness that I could do nothing 
without assistance from above. I felt 
great desire for the salvation of souls, 
and prayed that my husband might expe- 
rience divine assistance in the duties of 
the sanctuary. As soon as he went to 
meeting, I resumed my sweet employ- 
ment, pleading that God would pour out 
his Spirit, engage us in his service, and 
glorify his name in us and by us. 

''May 17. My beloved husband set out 
for Boston. My heart followed him 
with earnest desires that his journey 
might be made prosperous. My closet 
is sweet to me this morning. I turn from 
my family cares with pleasure to com- 
9 



98 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

miine in secret with my God. Here I 
find a cordial for my languishing soul; 
some foretaste of heaven. 

^' June 12. Lord give me patience and 
submission, all needed prudencCj wisdom 
and kindness, that I may know how to 
conduct toward the great variety of char- 
acters who visit my family. While at- 
tending to the people of my husband's 
charge, with others Avho come under 
my roof, may my aim in entertaining 
them be Thy glory and their best good. 
And like my divine Master may I find 
it more blessed to give than to receive. 

'^ June 15. As the next Sabbath is our 
season of communion, I feel desirous to 
keep myself as much abstracted from 
worldly cares and preplexities as pos- 
sible, in order to indulge reflections suited 
to the occasion. May it please God to 
assist me and our pastor in every duty." 



CONCERT OF PRAYER. 99 

It was Mrs. Bayley's practice, in the 
absence of her husband, to pray with her 
family. Speaking of one of these sea- 
sons, she says, ^' Before I retired to my 
chamber, when attempting to worship 
God with the children, I found it difficult 
to adapt my expressions to their concep- 
tions, and yet preserve a suitable rever- 
ence toward the majesty of heaven." 

A quarterly concert of prayer for the 
revival of religion and the conversion of 
the world, was observed by churches in 
Scotland more than a century ago; and 
was recommended to the churches in this 
country by President Edwards. Some 
churches adopted the practice ; among 
others, the church in Newcastle was 
one. I find the following notice of one 
of these seasons. 

^^ October 5. Yesterday attended the 
quarterly concert with my husband. The 



100 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

church met several hours previously, and 
were favored with a solemn , and instruc- 
tive season. My heart felt tenderly united 
to each member of the church. Lord, 
grant that I may sit down with them in 
thy kingdom ! 

'^ Oct. 19. Again songs of praise are put 
into my mouth. O for a humble, grate- 
ful heart! Yesterday a considerable num- 
ber of females met at my house for the 
benevolent purpose of assisting the Lin- 
coln and Kennebec Tract Society. They 
all appeared friendly, and their free-will 
offering exceeded in amount my expecta- 
tion. The Lord accept and bless what 
was given to the glory of his great name. 
Thus commenced a female Cent So- 
ciety. Sometimes the young females had 
no money; but they could give a pound 
of butter, a dozen of eggs, or a basket of 
raspberries. These were all accepted and 



FEMALE CENT SOCIETY. 101 

the money given them that they might 
deposit it." 

The Lord blesses the humble offerings of 
the poor, they are graciously regarded in 
heaven. Thus we see how Mrs. Bayley 
encouraged the poor of the flock, and led 
them in the way they should go. When 
the records of eternity shall be made 
known, who can tell but it may appear 
that such efforts as these, have been the 
means of saving many souls for whom 
Christ died, who shall shine as suns and 
stars in his kingdom forever. 

^^ November 13. The Sabbath was a day 
of rest and sweet delight to my soul. I 
could say with my favorite Poet : 

' My willing soul would stay, 
In such a frame as this, 
And sit and sing herself away 
To everlasting bliss.' 

'^January, 1804, Sabbath evening. Un- 
9^ 



102 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

der a deep sense of my unworthiness, I 
cry for mercy, disclaiming every idea that 
I ever have done, or possibly can do, any 
thing to recommend me to the divine 
favor. My heart is too deeply polluted 
with sin for me to cleanse it. Lord 
purify it, and unite it to thyself. 

'' March 4. When I reflect on the good- 
ness of God towards me manifested in 
all the way I am called to travel, I see 
enough to humble me and make me 
thankful at all times. 

^' April 8, Sabbath. Blessed be God for 
giving me delight and enlargedness of 
heart this morning in prayer, to desire 
his presence, that my habitation may be 
a Bethel, my heart his temple, that the 
Spirit of God may be poured out upon 
this people ; that the church may arise 
and shake herself from the dust of this 
world, and be engaged in the cause of 



MONTHLY PRAYER MEETING. 103 

Christ, and that the missionaries who 
have gone to the heathen may enjoy the 
Divine assistance. Blessed be God for 
giving me an opportunity to communi- 
cate to the sisters of the church a desire 
I have long indulged, that we might 
meet once a month at my room for de- 
votional exercises, reading the Scriptures, 
singing and prayer. We have agreed to 
meet the first Tuesday in each month. 
O may we be prepared, by divine grace, 
to meet with proper views and exercises, 
that we may glorify God our Redeemer, 
and promote each other's growth in holi- 
ness ! " 

Mrs. Bayley had now gained an object 
dear to her heart; and by her wise and 
prudent direction of these meetings they 
were evidently blessed to the spiritual 
improvement of the sisters. In these 
meetings she was at home ; if she retired 



104 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

from one exhausted, she met the next 
with delight. How much good this 
monthly meeting of the sisters accom- 
plished; how many blessings in answer 
to their prayers descended upon the pas- 
tor, the church and people of New- 
castle; and how many petitions for the 
enlargement of the Redeemer's kingdom, 
for the salvation of precious souls, are 
yet to be answered, God knoweth. It is 
by silent, peaceful influences such as 
these that God moves the moral world ; 
while the earthquake of physical revolu- 
tions among the nations soon subsides, or 
its effects are mercifully counteracted. 

^^ April 22, Sabbath. The dark side of 
the cloud is often towards me ; but blessed 
be God, I am more taken up with the 
contemplation of the perfections of his 
character than of my own deformities. I 
can never find satisfaction in myself; but 



MONTHLY PRAYER MEETING. 105 

in God is all I want. O to be like Him, 
that I might love and serve him as the 
rapt seraph that adores and burns ! 

"April 29, Sabbath. O God of mercy, 
may our little society, formed for religious 
exercises, be ever under thy special care 
and direction ! Deign to meet with us at 
our appointed seasons and make it sub- 
servient to our growth in grace and thy 
glory. Comfort us under all our dis- 
couragements, and may thy strength be 
made perfect in our weakness. Teach 
us how to pray, and then grant the de- 
sires which thy Holy Spirit may excite. 
Bless all thy children through the world ; 
be with thy ministers and the missionaries 
of Jesus Christ, and grant them thy pres- 
ence and all needful wisdom. 

"Sabbath. Fast as my minutes roll, 
new mercies are bestowed. O may my 
grateful soul unceasingly praise my God ! 



106 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

Last week I went to Bath for my 
health; was kindly received and enter- 
tained by friends, and returned in safety 
to my loved habitation. 1 pray for all 
I was conversant with, particularly the 
friends of truth. In reflecting upon my- 
self while absent, I find great cause for 
humility, and do earnestly pray that God 
would ever be with me in solitude and 
society, and help me to make his glory 
the great object of my concern. 

^^ June 9. Yesterday attended the pre- 
paratory Lecture ; the season was solemn. 
Three females were examined by the 
church and received. O may they come 
tomorrow to the feast of the Lamb, wel- 
come guests, each one with a wedding 
garment ! " 

June. After recounting the trials of an 
interesting young female, who came to 
her house from a neighboring town and 



REFLECTIONS ON A FAST DAY. 107 

remained nearly two years, she says, 
^^ My pity is much excited for her. May 
she have the pity and special mercy of 
God. She is yet with me, and my prayer 
is that we may both dwell together in 
the New Jerusalem." This prayer, I trust 
has been answered. Snaiched from im- 
pending ruin, this young woman became 
hopefully pious. And now the unpro- 
tected who fled for safety, and she who 
received her, do, we humbly trust, 
together bend before the eternal throne, 
and cast their crowns at the Redeemer's 
feet. 

^^ April 4, 1805. On this Fast day I 
desire to humble myself before a holy 
God for my great sinfulness. I have ad- 
ded to the weight of national trangres- 
sion, and deserve no exemption from 
national punishment. O God, suffer me 
to plead with Thee for mercy ! pardon, 



108 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

accept and save me for Jesus' sake. Save 
my gnilty nation. Our sinful conduct, 
if persisted in will prove our ruin. Lord, 
interpose and bring about a reformation, 
so that it may be consistent with thy 
justice to save us. Quiet the selfish 
party feelings which now agitate the 
public mind, and hasten the peaceful 
period when man shall no longer be 
the enemy of man ; but all unite as 
one happy family in seeking thy glory. 
Then shall thy name and thy praise be 
in all the earth ! 

''April 21. This day I hope to go up 
to the temple — may it be with right views 
and feelings of heart. Lord go with me 
thither, be with me there, and keep my 
heart through every part of worship in 
a devout, solemn frame. Let me not in 
the intermission join in conversation un- 
suitable to the holy day. 



DEVOTIONAL EXERCISES. 109 

'' May 15. In reading Deuteronomy 8th 
chapter, I felt myself personally address- 
ed in the 2d verse. ^And thou shalt 
remember all the way which the Lord 
thy God led thee these forty years in the 
wilderness, to humble thee, and to prove 
thee, to know what was in thy heart, 
whether thou wouldest keep his com- 
mandments or no.' As God dealt with 
Israel, so has he dealt with me, all my 
life long; and the result is, I see my 
heart to be desperately wicked. May I 
as fully know what it is to be humble. 

^^May 25. Having one of the ambas- 
sadors of Jesus in my family, I was 
called from my chamber, and I left my 
book with regret. But I found pleasure 
in waiting on one of the friends of God ; 
and desire to bless His holy name for any 
thing I have in my heart or house to 
make them happy. All I have, has been 
10 



110 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

received ; therefore I would cheerfully give 
up all I am, and have, to promote the 
divine glory. 

^^ May 29. To-day the female religious 
Society meet again in my chamber. O 
that the Divine presence may be with us, 
that our meeting may be for edification ! 
I feel insufficient in myself to do any 
thing aright; Lord teach, and assist me, 
and all the praise shall be Thine. , 

^^ June 6, Monday. At sacramental sea- 
sons, I generally have some distressing 
views of the wickedness of my heart. 
How admirably calculated are all God's 
dealings with me, to show me what is 
in my heart. At the preparatory Lecture 
I was much delighted with the entertain- 
ment of the Sanctuary, and my heart 
responded joyfully to the truths exhibited 
by the Speaker. But unstable as water, 
I cannot excel. My joys are transient ! 



DEVOTIONAL EXERCISES. Ill 

Now and then a lucid moment, with 
many a darksome hour. O for constant 
and undisturbed repose in God ! 

''July 6. Yesterday the Lord was very 
gracious. One of my family appeared 
engaged in the cause of truth, manifested 
an excellent spirit, and gave comfortable 
evidence that he was born from above. 
For this I would bless God, and take en- 
couragement. 

''July 9. After a wearisome night passed 
in many painful exercises of mind, aris- 
ing out of the difficulties attending my 
being a minister's wife, I met the com- 
pany faint-hearted. O that God would 
give me all needed grace; a disposition 
to keep at his feet begging for support 
and direction ! My feelings are daily 
wounded, yet I am obliged to put on an 
air of cheerfulness, lest my grief should 
be counted austerity, and I should hinder, 



112 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

rather than help, my husband in his 
arduous labors. Blessed Jesus, have mer- 
cy on me. Create within me a clean 
heart; renew within me a right spirit. 
Make me hke thy blessed self, and pre- 
pare me for the enjoyment of thy pres- 
ence in endless glory. 

'^ February 16, 1806. Through this fore- 
noon I have been more comfortable in 
body and mind than for many weeks. 
Lord, I thank Thee for reviving me so 
richly with thy former loving-kindness. 
I begin again to breathe in my own 
element. Return unto thy rest, O my 
soul, for the Lord hath dealt bountifully 
with thee. 

^' March 16. As the flying clouds vail 
the sun, granting only now and then a 
cheerfal ray, so care and sorrow over- 
spread my mind, and allow me only some 
faint glimmerings of joy. Painful and 



PROTECTION TO A YOUNG WOMAN. 113 

constant interruptions harass and confuse 
my mind. I have felt disconsolate for 
some time past. I am embarrassed 
in my family concerns, and seem to have 
more calls for my hospitality than I know 
how to answer. Help me to feel and do 
right, and all will be well. I need 
patience and wisdom; and for these I 
would seek unto God." 

The embarrassment and trials, of which 
she here complains, arose from the un- 
happy state of a young woman, who had 
fled to her for protection nearly two years 
before. This young woman when she 
came was uneducated in almost every 
respect; unskilled in domestic labors, and 
perhaps slow to learn ; and there may 
have been also some untowardness of dis- 
position. This to a person of great sen- 
sibility like Mrs. B., accustomed to the 
best society, and to taste and order in her 
10^ 



114 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

domestic affairs, would be a great trial, 
and devolve upon her much additional 
labor and care. But Mrs. B. was at 
length greatly comforted in this more than 
orphan child. 

^'July. Having obtained help of God, 
I have now to acknowledge his loving 
kindness and tender mercy to be very 
great. In six troubles, and in seven, nay 
in seventy times seven. Thou hast been 
with me. O may my heart be ever 
meditating upon Thy perfections, and ever 
be disposed to give Thee the praise 
which is due.'' 



AN ACADEMY IN NEWCASTLE. 115 



CHAPTER VIII. 

An Academy in Newcastle. The first Sunday School. 
Devotional exercises. A severe Scald. Feeble health. 
A journey. 

A PERSONAL acquaintance with those who 
are worthy to be remembered adds not 
a Uttle to our interest in them. Early 
in the spring of the year 180S, the wri- 
ter became an inmate in the family of 
Mr. and Mrs. B. and henceforth in this 
narrative he does not depend entirely on 
papers and manuscripts for the statements 
he may make. 

There was an Academy in Newcastle, 
which had been in successful operation 
about three years. The first preceptor 
was Mr. Haskell, afterwards pastor of the 
Congregational church in Burlington, and 



116 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

for several years, President of the Ver- 
mont University. The second preceptor 
was Mr. Beman, — the Rev. Nathan S. S. 
Beman D. D.j of Troy New York, pastor 
of the 1st Presbyterian church in that city. 
Mr. Beman had the charge of the 
School in the year 1808 and 1809. In it 
there was congregated an interesting group 
of young people ; several young men 
fitting for CollegCj and young ladies from 
families of great respectability. There 
was also a Sabbath school, superintended 
and taught by the preceptor ; the first, 
which the writer had ever attended ; and 
probably it was the first with all the 
pupils. The preceptor and a large por- 
tion of the students not resident in New- 
castle, boarded in the family of Mrs. 
Bayley. This fact may account for the 
deep solicitude which Mrs. B. sometimes 
expresses respecting her domestic affairs^ 



AN ACADEMY IN NEWCASTLE. 117 

and her complaints of care and exhaus- 
tion, notwithstanding she was generally 
happy with her charge, and they were 
happy in her society. Memory lingers 
with delight on that pleasant household, 
on the scenes witnessed and the im- 
pressions made : and though forty years 
have since passed away, yet three of its 
inmates if no more, survive to labor in 
the ministry and preside over churches. 

^^ Journal. February 10, 1808. Yester- 
day it was cold and stormy; I thought 
much of my husband, who had gone to 
Vermont; yet I experienced great mercy 
for my support. Through the evening 
I cheerfully attended to my domestic busi- 
ness ; and although the storm continued, 
so that had I needed assistance, I could 
not have obtained it, yet I felt no dis- 
quietude. I missed my husband exceed- 
ingly and longed for his return. Every 



118 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

thing around me seemed to mourn his 
absence; yet I was comforted with the hope 
that God would return him safely. Thanks 
to my heavenly Father for his care of me. 

'^This is a pleasant Sabbath; but I 
am confined at home. Lord, afford me 
thy presence, and I shall have some 
foretaste of heaven ; the enjoyment that 
my dear departed friends, who have 
died in the Lord, are in full possess- 
ion of. A few days since, my respected 
friend, Rev. Alexander McLean, was 
languishing here. But his sufferings 
are over; his captive spirit is liberated: 
he is free from sin, his greatest trial, 
and present with the Lord. Dear de- 
parted spirit, farewell. 

'^ Sabbath. I feel a sweetness of tem- 
per, since my morning trial, which leads 
me to bless God for it. While I suffer 
thy rebukes, O God, lead me to adore 



DEVOTIONAL EXERCISES. 119 

thy fatherly hand that gives them. 
Blessed Jesus, I begin to hope more 
steadfastly than I have done, that thou 
hast had my name engraven on thy 
breast from all eternity; that thou wilt 
purify my soul from all its pollutions, 
and through much tribulation prepare 
me to enter into thy rest. It has 
pleased thee, whose wisdom is perfect, 
to try me in various ways; and now 
I bless thee for the good hope that my 
will is subdued to thy will. I began 
life with strong desires to know much^ 
to do much^ and planned many schemes 
to promote the happiness of those around 
me: but God, in infinite wisdom, has 
frustrated my calculations, cramped my 
desires, cut off my expectations, and 
made my castle-building vain. O God, 
my heavenly Father, in my last most 
trying conflict, be thou with me, and 



120 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

whisper peace to my departing spirit ! 
Dear Jesus, stretch forth thy blessed 
hand, and lead me through the gloomy 
vale. 

"Sabbath 21. My mercies since the 
last Sabbath have been very great. I 
trust my heart is sensible of the kind 
hand of my heavenly Father, which is 
holding me up. Yesterday, in a dis- 
tressing moment I was enabled to cast 
myself wholly on the Lord, and I 
found sweet rest to my soul. I am 
tried by having a large family to take 
care of: O that I may be kept from 
impatience ! Lord, be thou my helper 
and my comforter. My soul aspires to 
thee; keep me from falling; I have no 
strength.'^ 

Early in August, of this year, Mrs. 
Bayley accidentally fell into a kettle o 
boiling beer, or wort, and scalded her 



A SEVERE SCALD. 121 

hand and arm very badly. For a few 
days, the scalded member seemed to 
be doing v^rell; after that, it assumed 
alarming appearances; she was very 
sick, and her recovery considered quite 
doubtful. She was, however, in mercy 
restored. The following extract from a 
letter to a friend, dated October 8, 1808, 
will give a more definite account of it. 
**My pen has been taken from my 
hand, these last eight weeks, by a se- 
vere scald, which has been very dis- 
tressing. The whole hand and arm, 
half way to the elbow, was in a dread- 
ful state, when taken from the scalding 
wort. For about two hours my suffer- 
ings were terrible. I thought of the 
scripture interrogation, ^Who can in- 
habit everlasting burnings?' My hus- 
band was deeply affected with my 
suffering. Soon, physician and neighbors 
11 



122 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

came, and by their efibrts I was re- 
vived. The first three or four days, 
the scald had no very alarming appear- 
ance; after that, for eight or ten days, 
it threatened mortification, and lock-jaw. 
My distress was unutterable. While it 
was supposed that amputation might be 
necessary, my heart sunk at the pros- 
pect; but I thought if Mr. Bayley saw 
fit to have it done, in order to pro- 
tract my life, I would yield to his 
inclination; but I preferred to fall on 
the mercy of God, as I was, and 
leave my case with him. And to the 
praise of his tender mercies, I am so 
far restored, as to be able to do a 
little. I am exceedingly needed in my 
family. My health is very poor. To- 
morrow, God willing, I set out on a 
little journey, hoping it will be benefi- 
cial. I have experienced great kindness 



FEEBLE HEALTH. 



123 



in my confinement. I know not what 
is best, but God does; here I rest.'' 

In the summer of 1809, as Mrs. 
Bayley's health was very feeble, it 
was thought best to take a long jour- 
ney; as traveling had generally proved 
favorable to her health. 

August 27. Just before sfie started 
on her journey, she wrote as follows. 
^^I live to praise Thee, my dear Im- 
manuel. May my heart never be reluc- 
tant to give thee the glory due to thy 
name. My feebleness and suffering lead 
me to apprehend that the last conflict 
is near. O friend of sinners, still be 
nigh : I cannot part with thee ! Thou 
hast been my never-failing friend. 
With joy I record the pleasing truth. 
In eternity may I realize it more. I 
cannot pass into eternity without leav- 
ing my testimony that God is faithful, 



124 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

a ready helper to all who hope in his 
mercy. Living, he has followed me 
with his tender mercy, and with my 
dying breath I would glorify his name. 
Surely God is a hearer of prayer, in 
his holy habitation. When with feeble 
hand, I marked on the page dated 
1795, my full heart rose to God in 
earnest supplication, and he heard my 
moan, and alleviated my sorrows, by 
allowing me to hope in his mercy, and 
to leave cheerfully all my concerns 
with him. And blessed be his name, 
he has in the best manner granted me 
the desires of my heart. My best 
earthly friend lives to declare the truths 
of the gospel, to help in building up 
the kingdom of the Redeemer. I have 
a comfortable dwelling, which gives me 
frequent opportunity to wait on the 
ambassadors of Christ, to entertain stran- 



DEVOTIONAL EXERCISES. 125 

gers, to comfort the solitary, to give 
residence to the orphan and the desti- 
tute. Bless the Lord, O my soul, and 
forget not his faithfulness. Take cour- 
age from what God has done for thee, 
from the first dawnings of life, and still 
hope in his mercy. His kind hand has 
led me through many a dark night. 
He has supported me in many a con- 
flict. the goodness, wisdom, mercy, 
and power of my almighty Father ! 
Eternity only can give me time enough 
to praise him. May I press toward the 
land of rest with diligence, confidence, 
and prayer. He who has loved me, 
will bear me through, and make me 
more than a conqueror. Thanking thee 
for favors past, pleading for the pardon 
of innumerable transgressions, with grace 
to bear me over the billows, which 
look furious, I commit myself again to 
11* 



126 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

the tender mercy and kind protection 
of my almighty Saviour." 

Mr. and Mrs. Bayley commenced their 
journey about the first of September; 
went through New Hampshire, and Ver- 
mont, into the state of New York: tar- 
ried a while at New Lebanon Springs, 
and then went to Hudson city. Then, 
they wended their way into Connecticut 
through several of the principal towns^ 
and following the course of the river, 
they went to Deerfield, Mass., where 
they tarried a little. Here is the first 
record of her pen on this journey. 

" Traveling still in the wilderness, I 
arrived at Deerfield, and took a grate- 
ful retrospect of the dealings of God 
toward his American Israel. Here, 
where cultivated fields meet the eye 
wherever it turns, a httle more than a 
century since the savage Aborigines 



A JOURNEY, 127 

roamed, and in their freedom fought to 
secure their forests and their waters. 
But they are driven out, and God has 
given their inheritance to another peo- 
ple; many of whom are, I trust, of 
his true Israel. May the time soon 
come, when the poor heathen on our 
borders will be brought to know and 
fear the Lord, and unite with all the 
redeemed in praising his name. While 
I stopped to view the charming pros- 
pect, I could not suppress the sigh 
occasioned by reflecting on the murder- 
ous scenes which were here transacted, 
and tinged these pure streams with 
human gore. May no such scenes oc- 
cur again; and the reign of righteous- 
ness and peace, be hastened on." 

Through this long journey, Mrs. Bay- 
ley was remarkably supported, saw 
many excellent people, made many 



128 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

friends, was kindly treated, and re- 
turned home with health improved, and 
spirits invigorated. 

We close this chapter with extracts 
from a letter to Deacon Taylor, of 
Ashby, Mass., a venerable man, in whose 
family Mrs. Bayley resided for a season, 
in her youth. 

'^My much respected Friend: Had my 
affection for you and yours ceased, 
when I ceased writing, I should have 
missed much pleasure, as well as some 
pain which I have experienced, when- 
ever I have thought of you 

With us the time is short. Unusual 
feebleness points me to the grave; and 
you, my dear Sir, cannot be far from 
it. Yet a little longer, and the places 
that now know us, will know us no 
more. But we hope we have a build- 
ing of God, an house not made with 



EXTRACTS FROM A LETTER. 129 

hands, eternal in the heavens. How 
highly favored! Though we groan in 
this tabernacle, being burdened; yet in 
our Father's house we shall rejoice 
with joy unspeakable and full of glory. 
'^I well remember the pleasant conver- 
sation I had with you, while a sojourner 
in your hospitable family. In reflecting 
on those happy hours, my heart rises 
in gratitude to Him, who in great mercy 
pointed me to your peaceful abode; and 
pointed out all my paths; some of 
which have been thorny, but not the 
less needful. Heaven is the place for 
durable delight; earth for discipline 
and trials. What gratitude we owe to 
God, for the precious promises with 
which his Word abounds, that our 
trials if suitably improved, will prepare 
us for the enjoyment of himself; that 
through tribulations, we shall enter the 



130 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

kingdom of heaven, that he will be 
with his children in the most trying 
circumstances; in the furnace, in the 
water, in the dark valley. What can 
they want more? If we are so happy 
as to meet in glory, how light will the 
afflictions we have met with, appear, 
compared with the blessings we have 
obtained ? 

^'Your sufferings, dear Sir, are some- 
what similar to mine, and they, doubt- 
less, will continue till we get through 
the wilderness. O, for the hope of be- 
ing delivered then, how grateful should 
I be! You may lose your burden 
first, but when I overtake you, it will 
be as though we had entered heaven 
together. Adieu, my dear Sir, till we 
meet where adieus and the pains of 
separation are unknown ! " 



SICKNESS OF HER BKOTHER. 131 



CHAPTER IX. 

Sickness and death of her brother. Visits her mother's 
native place. Female meeting. Incipient measures for 
the establishment of a Theological Seminary. Hope- 
ful conversion, sickness and death, of Mrs. Hale. De- 
votional exercises. 

'^Let us not be weary in well-doing; 
for in due time we shall reap, if we 
faint not." Moral causes are often slow 
in producing their appropriate effects: 
but none are more certain, none so 
permanent. Famine and pestilence may 
sweep our country, and terrible as the 
calamity is, a few years of health, and 
plenteousness will efface every appear- 
ance of them. A nation may achieve 
its independence, and if justly and hon- 
orably won, the patriotic of all nations 
will rejoice. But nations, with all their 



132 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

interests, will pass away with this tem- 
porary world. Important, as are the 
freedom and secular prosperity, of a 
state or empire, they do not compare 
in interest with the conversion of sin- 
ners. This event moves all the heaven- 
ly world. '^ There is joy in the pres- 
ence of the angels of God, over one 
sinner that repenteth;" The holiness 
and felicity, of a ransomed soul, will 
be lasting as the existence of God. He 
only can duly estimate the value of a 
soul; and if sinful, the importance of 
its conversion. 

We have seen the subject of this me- 
moir, go forth weeping, bearing precious 
seed; and if God spare us still farther 
to trace her footsteps, we shall see her 
return again with rejoicing, bringing her 
sheaves with her. The chapter, on 



DEATH OF HER BROTHER. 133 

which we have entered, will show a 
beginning of the harvest. 

Journal. ^^ September 10, 1810. To 
day I hear that my dear brother is 
declining fast. My heart trembles for 
him; I have been hoping to see him 
once more: but now I fear I shall not, 
in the land of the living. I desire to 
resign my brother to Him, who has the 
best right to him. He is dear to my 
aching heart; but I would have no 
will of my own." 

"September 20th. My brother is no 
more. He died on the 14th. O my 
brother! And shall thy loved name no 
more impart joy to this aching heart? 
So God has decreed, and what he wills, 
I will. All his ways are perfect, and 
I would adore, without asking the rea- 
son why he thus chastiseth. 

"I begin the day with desires to ap- 
12 



134 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

prove myself faithful to God, and all 
I am connected with. The youth and 
childj in my family, give me anxiety. 
But I am solicitous to do my duty to 
them, and be enabled to give them to 
him, whose creatures they are, praying 
that they may be his, in the day when 
he maketh up his jewels. My health 
is so poor, that I can do or bear but 
little. My great business is, to prepare 
for eternity. I see nothing to invite 
my stay here any longer. Yet, I plead 
not for a dismission from the post as- 
signed me, till my Lord order me to 
leave. I suffer so much from feebleness 
and pain, I could wish to be excused 
from family cares and interruptions; 
but I dare not be importunate in this 
request, lest I offend Him, who knows 
infinitely better than I do, how to dis- 
pose of me." 



DEVOTIONAL EXERCISES, 135 

"January 7, 1811. Blessed be the 
name of the Lord. Through the fore- 
noon, I was sweetly favored. Reading 
in the family in the morning, some 
account of my Saviour's sufferings, my 
affections were moved, my heart touch- 
ed with sympathy. Retiring to my 
chamber I pursued the subject, and my 
soul seemed united to him. I was un- 
able to attend meeting, but my cham- 
ber became a Bethel. Communing with 
him, in whom I delight above all 
others, I have seldom found my heart 
more enlarged. I found great comfort 
in pleading for absent friends. I trust 
God will grant my desires respecting 
some who have lived in my family. I 
find it so sweet conversing with my 
Saviour, I hardly know how to go 
down to the family. Surely the bread 



136 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

of heaven is better than any that earth 
affords." 

^^ April 8j 1811. I am distressed for a 
member of my family, in a Christless 
state; — for a child, under my particular 
care, — for the people of my husband's 
charge, — that the church may be roused 
from their lethargy. Having, as I hum- 
bly hope, his honor and glory in view, 
I trust that God will hear and save." 

1812. Mrs. Bayley had a taste 
and fondness for the beautiful in art 
and nature; especially the latter. This 
is manifested from many passages of 
her writings; and in particular, from 
some parts of her Journal, which we 
now insert. ^^I had long wished to 
see the place, where my dear mother 
began her pilgrimage. But, till 1812, 
the indulgence was withholden. Being 
weary with a long day's journey, I 



HER mother's native PLACE. 137 

prevailed upon my husband to turn a 
little from his purpose, and tarry at 
the house of his late friend, Dr. 
Thayer. Riding over the plains of 
Kingston, of which I had heard my 
mother say much, I had emotions 
which I remember with pleasure, but 
cannot describe. The golden beams of 
the sun were just tipping the hills and 
mountain tops with his departing rays. 
The road for several miles was fine, 
and for a considerable way, led through 
a beautiful green, where cattle, and 
sheep, were quietly grazing, and by 
the wayside stood here and there an 
ancient elm, on whose many branches 
birds of various species sung in delight- 
ful harmony. The air was fragrant. 
A stillness reigned that aided much, 
my meditations. In the height of my 
12* 



138 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

enjoyment, the chaise stopped; and thus 
awaked me from my pleasing reverie. 

''Mrs. Thayer kindly received us; and 
when, at length, I told her that on 
that spot my mother began her pil- 
grimage, she was much surprised; and 
upon learning her name she was affect- 
ed, and remarked that her brother 
had married a relative of mine. From 
this moment, our interview for each 
advancing hour, became more and more 
interesting. While at Newburyport, a 
short time after, I represented to my 
beloved Mrs. Coombs, the circumstances 
of the good widow. The heart of Mrs. 
C. was opened, and she gave me a 
twenty dollar bill to hand to Mrs. 
Thayer, when I returned. 

''As Mr. Bay ley had agreed to preach 
in Kingston on the Sabbath, we re- 
turned there on Saturday. Our friend 



HER mother's native PLACE. 139 

met us, and by the expression of her 
countenance, more than by words, inti- 
mated how glad she was to see us 
again. At a convenient opportunity, I 
put into her hand the twenty dollar 
bill. She attempted to speak, but tears 
and tender emotions prevented. At 
length, she said, ' How unworthy am 
I to receive so bountifully of the Lord ! ' 
'^Sabbath morning. Every thing around 
me was charming, — the beautiful green, on 
which stood the ancient time-worn meet- 
ing-house; the wide road, the venera- 
ble and majestic elms, waving their 
tall heads as the people walked under 
their friendly branches; the people flock- 
ing to the house of God, formed such 
a combination as almost to overcome 
me. Seated in the house while the 
people were collecting, 1 suff*ered fancy 
to rove a little, and it suggested that 



140 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

on that spot, and within those walls, 
my mother was devoted to God in 
baptism. Then my grandparents, with 
heavenly mien, seemed present. Time 
past, present, and future, were all now 
blended; and I felt as though I could 
sit and sing myself away to everlasting 
bliss. After sermon, I was introduced 
to an elderly lady, who related many 
particulars respecting my ancestors, which 
greatly interested me. I was also intro- 
duced to Mrs. C, my mother's relative; 
and when I took her hand, it is im- 
possible to describe what I felt. I 
thank my heavenly Father for these 
cordials on my journey." 

" November 2d. This afternoon, I 
have closed the meeting I opened. May 
18th, for the instruction of the dear 
young females of my husband's parish. 
The meeting was full, and very inter* 



FEMALE MEETING. 141 



esting. O Jesus, Friend of sinners, 
regard the prayers presented for these 
dear immortals ! O take them all to 
thyself for the crown of thy rejoicing, 
through the vast round of eternal years ! 
My heart longs for their salvation. I 
have given my time, even to great 
weariness, and my anxieties have been 
excited to a great degree for their best 
improvement: but thou, dear Immanuel, 
hast given thy life, hast come down 
from heaven, and hast borne thy 
Father's frowns, that they might have 
his blessing. May these precious ones, 
be for the glory of thy grace, to all 
eternity." 

This meeting was strictly a Bible 
class. The young women of the parish 
were invited without distinction, to come 
one half-day in a week, to Mrs. Bay- 
ley's chamber, to read, and receive in- 



142 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

struction from the Holy Scriptures. 
The meeting was opened with reading,' 
singing, and prayer; and, after devoting 
a suitable portion of the time to the 
instruction of these dear youth, was 
closed with prayer. It was delightful 
to see thirty or forty misses and young 
ladies, clustering around their kind ben- 
efactress, each with a Bible in her 
hand, listening to instruction, drinking 
in divine knowledge. These labors of 
love were not in vain: many of these 
young pupils will, it is believed, re- 
member with joy in eternity, the happy 
hours thus spent. Mrs. B. had a hap- 
py talent for securing the affections, 
and guiding the minds of young people. 
This meeting was continued for years, 
so long as Mrs. B. remained in the 
place. 

^^ February, 1813, Sabbath 11th. The 



DEVOTIONAL EXERCISES. 143 

Lord liveth, and blessed be my rock, 
and let the God of my salvation be 
exalted. I would bless his name for 
support granted me the last week, suf- 
fering in body, rejoicing in spirit, sub- 
mitting under pain. The Redeemer has 
my heart; O may he take possession 
of all that I am, all I have ! I want 
to honor and glorify him, whom my 
soul loveth, to the utmost of my ca- 
pacity, to be filled with the Holy 
Spirit, that I may do good in my 
generation." 

''March, the 8th. Though unable to 
go to the house of God, I have many 
mercies to acknowledge, the Bible to 
read, a heart to delight in it, peace in 
my habitation; and from day to day I 
am upheld in waiting upon some of 
God's creatures; often on some of his 
dear children. 



144 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

^^I thought, this morning, if my dear 
Lord were here in person, I would bathe 
his feet with tears, and wipe them with 
the hairs of my head. Adored be sovereign 
goodness for such sweet exercises. How 
has my heart gone after my dear Mrs. 
Ashmun and others. As friends of Jesus 
I love and esteem them. My heart is 
tenderly affected for my dear Mr. Bay- 
ley; he is feeble in body, but strong in 
his desires to serve and please his divine 
Master by devising liberal things. O that 
his life may be prolonged till he gets into 
operation a plan for the instruction of 
pious indigent young men, that they may 
preach the gospel to the poor, who are 
scattered about in the wilderness ! Bless- 
ed Saviour, strengthen, prosper and suc- 
ceed the benevolent undertaking. O give 
to thy supplicating handmaid favor with 
those who have the means, that she may 



ESTABLISHMENT OF A SEMINARY. 145 

obtain something to give into the treasury 
of the Lord !" 

Thus Mrs. Bayley entered with great 
fervor of mind into the plan of estabUsh- 
ing a Theological Seminary in Maine; 
and thus she, and her christian associates, 
Mrs. Ashmun and Mrs. Hale, prayed for 
the incipient Institution. But for their 
prayers and influence, perhaps the Theo- 
logical Institution of Bangor might not 
have been established. Be this as it may, 
they doubtless did what they could; and 
their reward is in heaven. 

^^ Blessed be the God of salvation. I 
never deserved any thing but separation 
from all good unto all evil; and yet 
goodness and mercy have followed me all 
the days of my life. Though unwell, I 
lost not the great object of communion 
with God, which is the essence of all 
true happiness; I had some intercourse 
13 



146 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

with heaven. As I went about my work, 
I found it sweet speaking and singing of 
the love of Jesus. As my husband was 
gone to preach at North Yarmouth, be- 
fore the Maine Missionary Society, I was 
led to plead that he might be supported, 
and be made instrumental in doing good 
in the vineyard of his dear Master." 

''July 1, afternoon. This morning Mr. 
Pay son of Portland, and Mr. Homes of 
Boston, left us after a short, friendly 
visit. My affections were much drawn 
out toward them. I trust we shall one 
day meet in the pleasant land. I now 
find myself free from company, and de- 
sire the presence of Him who warmed 
the hearts of the two disciples traveling 
to Emmaus. And though my eyes be so 
holden that I cannot see Him through 
the vail of the flesh, yet I pray that the 
Holy Spirit would grant me such exer- 



EXTRACTS FROM HER JOURNAL. 147 

cises as were felt by those dear friends of 
Jesus, as they walked together and talked 
of his death and resurrection. I seek not 
my dear Lord and Saviour among the 
dead in the tomb, but as my risen God. 
Come, blessed Jesus, come ! I will give 
Thee room in my heart ; yea I will give 
it all to Thee.'' 

'^July. Blessed Jesus, thy claim is 
stamped on all; that makes it valuable, 
and excites my care. I love to take of 
the little thou hast entrusted me with: I 
love to relieve, by alms and prayers, thy 
suffering members; I love to speak kind- 
ly to thy afflicted ones, to put garments 
on thy poor ones, and to give food and 
cordials to thy faint and needy ones. 
Make me like thyself in every good 
work." 

^^ September 6, Gorham. When the hour 
of parting came, Mrs. Rand proposed re- 



148 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

tiring and commending each other to the 
love and mercy of our almighty Friend. 
This act of personal devotion united my 
heart more than any thing else to the 
dear woman. I hope our friendship is for 
eternity." 

Letter from Mrs. Bayley to Mrs. Hale. 

'^ Portland, September 8th, 1813. 
Dear friend of my heart; a change of 
circumstances changes not my feeUngs 
toward you. I am now at Mr. Pay- 
son's where I feel at home. While the 
family are preparing to go out, I catch 
the flying moment to assure you of the 
continued interest I take in your present 
condition and future blessedness. The bells 
are tolUng, and minute-guns are fired to 
honor the perishing remains of two sea 
captains (of the Hornet and the Boxer,) 
who fell last Sabbath in an engagement 



LETTER TO MRS. HALE. 149 

off this harbor. Mr. Paysoii makes a 
prayer in the meeting-house, whither the 
corpse are carried, thence to be conveyed 
through several of the principal streets, 
and then deposited in the house of 
silence. But while these perishing honors 
are being rendered over the ashes of the 
dead, my thoughts pursue the immortal 
spirits into eternity, where they will both 
meet in the presence of the Eternal who 
has said, ^Thou shalt not kill.' 

^'But I turn from the melancholy sub- 
ject to inform you that we have followed 
the pillar and cloud thus far safely ; not 
without suffering from poor health and a 
wicked heart. 

''But wherever I go, with whomsoever 
I am, the thoughts of you occupy 
much of my attention. If I hear any thing 
said of home my first impression is, I 
will tell my dear Mrs. Hale of this. 



150 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

When I send a desire to the court of the 
heavenly King, my dear Mrs. Hale forms 
a part of the petition. When favored 
with a hope of being soon in the pleas- 
ant land, where the inhabitants shall no 
more say, ' I am sick,' I extend my 
views and espy my beloved friend exult- 
ing in her Saviour^s love. Thus, my 
dear, I find by happy experience, your 
happiness, present and future, incorporat- 
ed with that of your ever affectionate, 

A. G. Bayley." 

Mrs. Hale's last letter to Mrs. Bayley. 

" September 14. O that I had the pen 

of a ready writer, that I might let you 
know with what feelings I have just re- 
ceived your most affectionate letter! My 
heart is filled with mingled sensations of 
love and gratitude for your numberless 
instances of care for, and kindness to- 



MRS. HALe's last LETTER. 151 

ward me, though certainly unworthy of 
the least of them. May the best of hea- 
ven's blessings attend you through the 
remaining part of your journey, and 
still keep your mind calm and serene, 
though surrounded with storms and 
troubles. I believe it will give you great 
comfort to hear that I am much better 
than I have been. I hope in a few days 
to ride down and spend a part of a day 
with you. For the last three years, one 
of the greatest sources of happiness has 
been to be able now and then, to spend 
a day or two at your house; and I 
trust, if we live, it will still be so. O 
that I may be kept mindful of the good- 
ness and mercy of that God, who has 
hitherto preserved me ! May God enable 
me to study what I shall render unto 
him for all his benefits. I am, with love 
and esteem, your affectionate, 

& Hale.'' 



152 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

From Mrs. Bayley to Mrs. Hale, a note. 
'* Newcastle, September 18th. My dearest 

Friend! Never did my heart flow out 

in love to you more than at the feast we 

have both attended. 1 thank you for 

your continued exertion to show your 
love for the precious ordinances of the 
Lord. It affected my soul with pleasure 
mingled with tender sensations, which I 
cannot describe. Your regard for the 
dear-bought feast, your kindness, your 
example, were, I trust, noticed by hover- 
ing angels, who with delight wait on the 
church at such seasons, marking with 
holy joy, the love and unity, which sub- 
sist among the flock. I trust they have 
borne your expression of love to your 
dear Redeemer this day to the heavenly 
courts; and while they record the deed, 
all the heavenly arches ring with hal- 
lelujahs for the prospect of your being 



SICKNESS AND DEATH OF MRS. HALE. 153 

presented ere long to the Father, fault- 
less, by the kind hand of the Friend of 
sinners. In this confidence, I now give 
you up, when called for. If your work 
is done first, I will say, Amen." 

This effusion of feeling was occasioned 
by an event which touched many hearts. 
Mrs. Sarah Hale was the daughter of 
John Farley, Esq., of Newcastle; was 
early married, went to Exeter, New 
Hampshire, to reside, buried her husband, 
and returned to her father's house. She 
was brought under serious religious im- 
pressions by some remarks made to her 
by Mrs. Bayley; and soon after hope- 
fully converted. In due time she pro- 
fessed her faith in Christ; adorned her 
profession by her christian conduct; and 
at the time of which we now speak, was 
evidently in the last stages of consump- 
tion. The church were assembled to 



154 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

show forth their Lord's death; just at 
the close of the forenoon exercises, the 
door of the house was opened; and 
leaning upon the arm of her widowed 
mother, with the paleness of death on 
her countenance, Mrs. Hale entered and 
took her seat. At noon when the church 
attended to the ordinance, with assistance 
she seated herself by the side of Mrs. B., 
received the memorials of her Lord's 
death, with great tenderness, and was so 
refreshed that she tarried through the 
services of the afternoon. For a few 
weeks this dear disciple lingered, then, as 
we doubt not, her spirit took its upward 
flight. Her dust was conveyed to the 
tomb, on the day when the church next 
came together to break bread. 



DEVOTIONAL EXERCISES. 155 



CHAPTER X. 

Devotional exercises. Further labors in Maine. Theo- 
logical Seminary. Devotional exercises. Letter to a 
foreign missionary. 

Perseverance in a good cause is indis- 
pensable to success. MoseSj the man of 
God, in his efforts to deliver Israel, 
was sometimes disheartened; but he 
persevered, and his labors were crowned 
with triumphant success. The mission- 
aries of the London Missionary Society, 
labored almost twenty years at Tahiti 
under circumstances of great discourage- 
ment ; but they persevered in efforts to 
evangelize the natives, and in due time 
they were permitted to gather a rich 
harvest on heathen ground. A good 
man had an only son, and bestowed 



156 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

much pains on his education: but the 
son was wayward, and at times his 
case appeared hopeless. The father 
could not abandon his son; he perse- 
vered till this child of his prayers was 
forty years of age, when he was hope- 
fully converted to God. The father 
lived long enough to have evidence 
of the reality and permanence of the 
change. The son now fills the place 
as a member and officer of the church 
made vacant by the death of his father; 
and is now governor of a common- 
wealth in this Republic. 

Mrs. Bayley sought earnestly to glo- 
rify God, to comfort and bless his 
children ; and to promote the conversion 
and salvation of sinners. Though com- 
prehensive, her object was one; and to 
secure its accomplishment she persevered 
in effort through life. 



DEVOTIONAL EXERCISES. 157 



''' January 1st, 1814. To God, the 
Father, Son, and Holy Ghost, be equal 
and undivided praise. The first mo- 
ment my God has given me strength to 
hold my pen shall be employed to 
record his praise at the remembrance 
of his manifold mercies. Through many 
dangers and much suffering I have 
been carried through the year 1813, 
and now the year 1814 is opening upon 
me. One favor I would here record, 
deliverance from sudden and awful 
death by the sting of a bee. My pains 
were very great, the poison spread rap- 
idly, and all expected immediate dis- 
solution. Almost immediate relief was 
obtained by the application of the spirits 
of hartshorn; a few drops taken in- 
ternally and some applied externally: 
an excellent remedy for poisonous bites 
and stings." 

14 



158 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

*' January 12. Sitting with some of 
the sisters of the church yesterday, 
who compose a little society for re- 
ligious improvement, I felt my heart 
much drawn out in devout exercises, 
and longed for the time when, refined, 
purified, and separated from the body, 
we shall meet around the throne, with 
hearts glowing with love and gratitude. 
To-day I feel as though 1 could min- 
gle with no company but such as can 
feel, and talk of things eternal. — In 
reading some account of Lady RusselFs 
views and exercises, I am delighted 
and long to be with her." 

"June 5th. Yesterday morning was a 
precious season to me. I awoke before 
the sun appeared, and found my heart 
attuned to praise. As I was repeating 
the name of my Saviour with great 
delight, the birds began their morning 



DEVOTIONAL EXERCISES. 159 

songs, and seemed to unite with me in 
praising our Creator. I felt the savor 
of it all the day.'' 

^' June 26th. Very feeble, unable to go 
up to the temple. I long to be with 
Jesus. Sometimes even here in the 
house of my pilgrimage, I seem to get 
a glimpse of him. Alas ! loo often the 
view is intercepted; yet when I get it, 
all created beauty fades away, as a 
feeble spark expires before the blaze of 
the meridian sun." 

^^July 3d. How good is God: I went 
out in weakness, I have been sup- 
ported. The word and services were 
very precious to my soul. Surely a 
day spent in His house of prayer is 
better than a thousand." 

" Newburyport, September 25th. Brought 
again to the very apartment, where 
my tears flowed, and my cries as- 



160 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

cended unheard by mortal ears. I will 
praise his name, who has wrought 
wonders for me, and leave it here on 
record that God is faithful, kind and 
true; and those are blessed who confide 
in his Word. O, his marvelous kind- 
ness during a long night of affliction! 
And now in this place he has put 
songs of joy into my mouth. I would 
call upon my soul, and all that is 
within me to praise him. — And I pray 
for spiritual blessings upon this beloved 
family, which God has made instru- 
mental to my comfort and happiness. 
May the blessings of the upper and 
nether springs be theirs. I am called 
to visit; Lord be with me during the 
time passed in company. — I am afraid 
to visit, lest I say something amiss. O 
that my conversation may be profitable! 
Jesus mingled in the social circle. 



I 



THEOLOGICAL SEMINARY. 161 

So might I, cherishing his spirit, enjoying 
his presence, and meet his approbation.'' 

, 1814, Hampden. After speaking 

of the kindness shown her at the hos- 
pitable mansion of General Crosby, she 
says, ^^ On the banks of the Penobscot, 
it is contemplated to establish a school 
for young men of religious habits, to 
train them up for the ministry ; that 
the destitute plantations in this dis- 
trict may be favored with pious in- 
structors to teach them the way to 
heaven. The Lord bless the institution, 
and may it be the means of deliver- 
ing many souls from the dominion of 
sin and Satan, and of leading them to 
the Saviour. 

^' Blessed be God for honoring me, 
unworthy as I am, with giving the 
first mite to the Treasurer for its sup- 
port. This was the free-will offering 
14* 



162 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

of a number of females in different 
places, whose hearts the Lord has 
made to feel for their fellow immortals. 
The Lord bless them individually with 
his special love. The little sum was 
one hundred and sixty dollars. The 
Lord make it to increase a thousand- 
fold. Blessed be God for making me 
his almoner." Mrs. B. persevered in 
this labor of love till she had collected 
and paid to the Treasurer of the Maine 
Theological Seminary, nearly two thou- 
sand dollars. 

Speaking of these efforts, Mr. Bayley 
says: '' Daughters of Zion, mothers in 
Israel, residing in Maine, will you not 
follow this blessed example? Your 
Theological school needs assistance. Will 
you not rise up in your might, and 
resolve that the female fund at Bangor 
shall be raised to ten thousand dollars? 



LETTER TO A MISSIONARY. 163 

Can it be said, that you have done 
what you could, until this is done? 
Think you that the first contributor 
regrets what she did? Is it wrong 
that this should be mentioned as a 
memorial of her? Will you not go 
and do likewise? And remember, the 
time is short !" 

Mrs. B. felt and cherished a lively 
interest in the cause of Christian mis- 
sions among the heathen. Her feelings 
on this subject are well described in 
the following letter to a female mis- 
sionary in India. 

"Newcastle, March 30, 1815. 
My Dear Roxana, 

Through the mercy of God 
I am encouraged to hope you may re- 
ceive one more testimony of my con- 
tinued love and friendship. I received 



164 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

yours dated Calcutta, September 18th, 
1812, with emotions not to be described. 
My husband partook of my pleasure; 
and it was sometime before we could 
read through the precious epistle, so 
much were our tender feelings excited. 
From that time I have been waiting 
and longing for an opportunity to thank 
you for such a tender proof of remem- 
brance; but the unhappy war has hith- 
erto hindered. Blessed be God, we hope 
the way will be clear for the exchange of 
letters with beloved friends on the other 
side of the globe, who still live in 
our memory and are dear to our hearts. 
Peace is now proclaimed along our 
shores, and we hope that one of the 
happy consequences resulting from it, 
will be opportunity to learn more fre- 
quently what God is doing for poor 
immortals in heathen lands. 



LETTER TO A MISSIONARY. 165 

'^ We have had the pleasure of hearing 
from your mission, and have sympa- 
thized and rejoiced with you as cir- 
cumstances varied. 

''We have received the Report of the 
twentieth meeting of the London Mis- 
sionary Society, and our hearts bound 
with joy at the glad news. Surely God 
has done wonders in our day, and we 
rejoice with longings of soul, to be 
workers in so glorious a cause. From 
small beginnings great things have 
arisen, and what further may we not 
expect, since Jehovah owns and blesses? 
We will praise and pray, if we can 
do no more. 

. . . " Having done with circum- 
stances, I hasten to say, what I have 
many times ; I still love you. Are you 
yet a sojourner in this vale of tears? 
I hope the assurance will reach you and 



166 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

quicken your remembrance of me at the 
mercy-seat. Are you above? May 
some courteous angel bear you the 
tender expression as I sigh it over my 
pen. If our professions are sincere, we 
shall soon meet to mourn our separations 
no more. — How do you hke your man- 
ner of living? Can you do any thing 
for the poor females? Are the children 
docile and willing to receive instruction? 
Do you enjoy the Divine presence? Is 
communion with God through the glo- 
rious Redeemer so sweet to your soul, 
that you can say with the Psalmist, 
^Whom have I in heaven but Thee, 
and there is none upon earth, I desire 
beside Thee?' I long exceedingly to 
know all about your situation; whether 
your circumstances admit of your being 
useful; whether you enjoy so much of 
God in your work as to compensate for 



LETTER TO A MISSIONARY. 167 

all you have left in your native land? 
I am interested in all that concerns 
you, not only as my friend, but as a 
Christian Missionary. I consented to your 
going to the heathen; nay more, I en- 
couraged you to do what I would gladly 
have done at your time of life. I pity 
the nations that know not our dear 
Lord, and would most gladly minister 
to them, were it in my power. May my 
dear Master accept a willing mind. 
When I learned you were about to sail 
from your native shores, I bade you 
God speed. I followed you across the 
mighty deep, I forsook you not when 
the pagans crowded around you, and 
smiled you welcome to their land. 
While you were seated among them, I 
waited for a token of kind remembrance; 
and ere long it came. Propitious gales 
from Asia brought me assurance of 



168 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

your continued love; I could not doubt 
your friendship, your words were a 
refreshing repast to my soul. 

^^ Have you, or any of your company, 
been so blessed of God as to gain one 
poor perishing soul for the Saviour? 
Then I am compensated ten thousand 
times for all the anxiety I have endured 
on your account. 

'^ O could I arrest the wheels of time, 
and roll them backward twenty years, 
I would cross seas and mountains to 
be with you, teaching the little natives 
the name and works of Jesus ! Oft in 
imagination, I seat myself beside you, 
under the branches of some spreading 
tree; and, with the Bible in my hand 
address the gazing audience. I feel 
as though I could preach to the listen- 
ing group and tell them what Jesus has 
done for sinners: that once he visited 



LETTER TO A MISSIONARY. 169 

our world, and had a small family 
which he called disciples; that he told 
them to teach all nationSj and baptize 
in his name; that his birthplace was 
in Asia; that there he lived and died; 
that when he had finished his work on 
earth, he ascended to his glorious 
throne above; where they will go when 
they die, if they love him, and believe 
on his name. I would tell them that 
little heathen like themselves are wel- 
come to his arms; that the heathen 
nations are his, redeemed by his blood, 
and that he will have many of them 
to live with him in glory. Thus mus- 
ing, my heart is all desire, and still 
on the wing; instead of going back- 
ward, I spring forward twenty years, 
and in vision behold wondrous things 
done by Jehovah. Missionaries are 
owned and blessed; nations receive in- 
15 



170 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

struction and obey the gospel, scholars 
in your little flock are prepared to 
leach in their turn; and mothers are 
aiding their children to lisp and spell 
the name of Jesus; while native mis- 
sionaries are going from village to 
village, preaching glad tidings to per- 
ishing sinners. Still the prospect bright- 
ens: temples devoted to idols are de- 
molished, or consecrated to the worship 
of Jehovah. Cruel Brahmins instead of 
throwing weeping infants into the 
Ganges, will bring them in their arms 
and present them to the Saviour. Good 
God, hasten on the glorious day ! 

" Be encouraged, my dear, though 
heavy trials await you, and precede 
the blessed period, when the heathen 
shall be given to Christ for his inherit- 
ance, and the uttermost parts of the 
earth for his possession. We trust you 
will be of the honored number engaged 



LETTER TO A MISSIONARY. 171 

to bring about this glorious event. You 
have the prayers of thousands of God's 
dear children : and though Satan may- 
roar, he will never prevail against the 
King of Zion. 

^'I should not have been so prolix, 
but it is not probable I shall write 
you many, if any, more letters. Eter- 
nity seems just opening before me; 
and you know that makes time appear 
as a moment. Most I have loved, have 
crossed Jordan; and are I trust at 
rest in the pleasant land. Blessed be 
God for the good hope of meeting 
when our different duties are performed. 
And now, my dear Roxana, adieu. 
Wednesday in the last week of each 
month, when prayer is statedly offered 
in this apartment, you are remembered 
by the sisters; and with heart-felt affec- 
tion by your unalterable friend, a. g. b." 



172 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

"December 6thj 1815. ^As the heart 
panteth after the water-brook, so pant- 
eth my soul after Thee, O God. My 
soul thirsteth for God, for the hving 
God; when shall I come and appear 
before God?' . . . Yesterday a poor 
man in plaintive tones asked me for a 
piece of bread. My heart was affected; 
I made ready a comfortable meal for 
him; and surely 1 found it more blessed 
to give than to receive. Thanks to God 
for the exquisite pleasure afforded me, 
in being able to help one in distress. 
Now, Lord, feed his soul with the bread 
of life, and my soul will rejoice. To- 
day I have been laboring for the bodies 
of many around me, and have had 
little time for reflection. In thinking of 
my heavenly home, my heart sighed 
and longed to be there." 

"December 8th. I have many mercies 



DEVOTIONAL EXERCISES. 173 

of which I am in some measure sen- 
sible ; a comfortable home, good books, 
with a desire to read them; the Bible 
in which is my title to an inheritance 
among the children of the kingdom. 
But with all these blessings, I feel most 
of the time hungry and thirsty. When, 

Lord, shall I awake in thy likeness? 

1 long to be in a capacity for taking 
into perfect review all the way the 
Lord has led me in this wilderness. 

that the blessed hour were come, 
To bear me to my long'd-for home." 

^^At length, the year 1815 expires. 
Solemn thought ! I have done but little 
that I should have done, and much 
that I should not have done. O, Jesus, 
Friend of sinners, pardon, and accept 
me.'' 

15^ 



174 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 



CHAPTER XI. 

Devotional exercises. Domestic cares and labors. Cor- 
respondence with Dr. Ramsay and his family. A 
revival of religion. 

'' January 25th, 1816. Traveling in the 
dark with a heavy burden on my 
heartj I am ready to faint. Lord, let 
me hear thy charming voice, and 
though my path be hid from me, I 
shall not sink. Every day I feel more 
and more as though my journey were 
closing. O, my almighty Friend, leave 
me not now, when most I need thine 
aid. Having committed my eternal in- 
terests to thy management, and given 
myself soul and body to Thee, through 
thy Son, and devoted my time to be 



DEVOTIONAL EXERCISES. 175 

spent in a faithful discharge of my 
various duties, O suffer me not to be 
anxious about the time, or the manner 
in which my spirit shall break from 
its confinement!" 

^^ January 28th. Lord, all my desires 
are before Thee, and my groaning is 
not hid from Thee. I long to visit the 
house, where thou art worshiped, to 
unite with thy saints below in praising 
thy name. But since thy Providence 
confines me in my dwelling, O blessed 
Immanuel, come, and bless it with thy 
presence. Breathe peace on all within 
its walls, and in due time bring each 
soul here with me, into thy blissful 
presence, for ever to enjoy thy smiles. 
"I am grieved to see professing Christ- 
ians so unwilling to give into the treas- 
ury of the Lord, and so much 
conformed to the world : I am grieved 



176 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS, 

at the low state of Zion. . . . Bless- 
ed God, since in condescension infinite, 
thou art pleased to accept all who are 
willing to be saved by grace, I come, 
and in the name of Jesus Christ alone, 
cast myself upon thy mercy. I plead 
his merits, I love his character, I choose 
the method of acceptance with thee, 
through his obedience, sufferings and 
death. I love his name, it is all my 
hope ; I love his holy disposition, and 
long to be like him, that I may dwell 
with him and behold his glory. I thank 
thee heavenly Father, for the gift of 
thy Holy Spirit, without whose aid I 
should have no desire to approach 
thee. O may I feel his blessed influ- 
ences on my heart, warming, encourag- 
ing, and urging me on to every good 
word and work, that I may be prepared 
for the sweetest enjoyment the soul is 



DEVOTIONAL EXERCISES. 177 

capable of, communion with God. . . . 
We take our passage through Hfe at 
a very eventful period; knowledge of 
the pitiable condition of the heathen is 
come to many; God is now calling 
for his silver and his gold. I dare not 
use it for ornament, lest I rob my Master 
of his due. I say not that there are 
none who may deck themselves with 
costly array, God has given riches and 
honor to some. They have it in their 
power to appear in elegant apparel, 
and yet do abundantly for the cause 
of Christ. But Christians in general 
are not thus circumstanced. O that 
those professing Christians, who call 
themselves poor, particularly when con- 
tributions are made to send the Bible 
and missionaries to heathen lands, would 
remember that our dear Redeemer for 
our sakes became poor, that we through 
his poverty might be made rich !" 



178 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

^' June 24th. Commenced our journey 
westward, heat uncomfortable, could pro- 
ceed no further than Alna. Called at 
a tavern, were kindly treated and en- 
tertained ; and when we called for our 
bill the hostess kindly gave it in. Blessed 
Godj when she is arraigned before thy 
bar, and has nothing to pay, may Jesus, 
the sinner's Friend, appear and cancel 
her debt." 

'^November 25th. Company and busy 
scenes deprive me of much enjoyment. 

how different heaven will be! . . . 

1 love my friends; they are my chief 
treasure; but I can best enjoy them, 
one or two at a time. When I put off 
this clog, I hope to be fitted for the 
enjoyment of the company, which no 
man can number." 

^'January 1, 1817. The first move- 
ment of my pen shall be to record 



EXTRACTS FROM HER JOURNAL. 179 

the goodness of God to me. I am 
brought beyond what I thought proba- 
ble a few months since, to see the 
beginning of the new year. It dawns 
upon me in peace. God of my Ufe, 
forgive all the follies of the past, and 
enable me by thy divine grace to de- 
vote each moment of the coming year, 
to thy glory. All earthly joys languish 
and die in comparison with thee. Grant 
me thy presence, and I am satisfied; 
withhold it, and I droop and die. Bless- 
ed be thy name for all the mercies of 
my journey through this weary land. 
Though they exceed all my comprehen- 
sion, yet I love to dwell on the sub- 
ject. My temporal mercies have been 
constant as my beating pulse: my 
spiritual mercies transcend all concep- 
tions. I am now under great pressure 
of spirits ; but, as I hope past afflic- 



180 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

tions have been blessings in disguise, 
so I trust God will overrule the pres- 
ent. He knows my weakness, and will 
not deal unkindly with me." 

^^ January 3d. Blessed be God, I 
have a comfortable habitation, fuel, food, 
and raiment convenient for me; a kind 
husband to hghten many cares; books 
to read, and a pen, to relieve my full 
heart; and, to sum up all, God is my 
Friend, and I am blest." 

^'Wednesday 8th. The female Cent 
Society met here, and, although the 
day was cold, and very uncomfortable, 
more than fifty collected, and gave 
cheerfully into the treasury of the Lord. 
One half of this collection is given to 
our Theological Seminary. The Lord 
bless this Institution, and make it the 
means of much good, to perishing souls. 

''Yesterday some of the female con- 



DOMESTIC CARES AND LABORS. 181 

verts met in my chamber for prayer. 
I trust Jesus was with us. My soul 
melted into love; I longed to be where 
I could love holy beings with holy af- 
fections, to all eternity. I have seldom 
felt more willing to depart; I long to 
be where there is no interruption to 
the enjoyment of God and holy society. 
^^The cares of a large family now 
oppress me; but I dare not ask for an 
alteration of circumstances, lest, in so 
doing, I should offend my God, who 
is wise in counsel and perfect in gov- 
ernment. Give me grace, that I may 
walk before the interesting youth of 
my family, in a holy and exemplary 
manner, that I may recommend to 
them -the religion which I profess." 

'^ March 3d. A special prayer meet« 
ing. My heart was refreshed by the 
coming in of a few to unite in calling 
16 



182 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

upon God for the outpouring of his 
blessed Spirit. How pleasant to see the 
youth coming around us, to pray and 
to praise. I was affected with the de- 
plorable state of the unconverted part 
of my family. I have admonished 
them, have written to them: Lord, add 
thy blessing, or all will be in vain." 

" April 2d. My soul folio we th hard 
after God; when shall I be near, and 
like Him? Yesterday was a memora- 
ble day. Good news from many be- 
loved friends reached us : I would bless 
God for it. I received a letter from 
the daughters of my dear Mrs. Ramsay. 
They appear to possess much of the 
Spirit of their ascended parents. Bless- 
ed be God, for the affection he has 
given me for them. I rejoice in the 
hope of seeing them in glory." The 
daughters here mentioned were the 



DEVOTIONAL EXERCISES. 183 

children of Dr. Ramsay, the historian, 
and Mrs. Ramsay, who was the daugh- 
ter of Henry Laurens, first President 
of the American Congress. A corres- 
pondence commenced between Dr. Ram- 
say, and Mrs. Bayley; and after the 
Doctor's decease, it was continued by 
the daughters." 

^^ April 6th. Oh that this people 
were wise, that they understood this, 
that they would consider their latter 
end ! In the afternoon experienced some 
comfort in attending meeting with some 
of the church and people, for prayer 
and religious instruction, in my house. 
As soon as the meeting closed, I re- 
tired to the study to avoid unprofitable 
conversation. Why do not those who attend 
religious meetings, return to their homes 
to meditate and pray?" 

"August. Received an affectionate letter 



184 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

from Miss Martha P. Ramsay, of South 
Carohna. It was written in a kind 
and filial manner, so that my heart, 
just before wounded, was much re- 
freshed. How I ought to love, and 
adore the God of mercy." 

^^ September 6th. Newburyport. Went 
with my dear Mrs. Coombs, and her 
family, to the meeting-house, where, in 
my early days, I was given up to God 
in baptism, by my parents; where I 
went with them to worship; where I 
had gone with Mrs. C, to listen to 
divine truth as it dropped from the 
lips of the speaker, and had been in- 
structed and comforted. Viewing my 
friends around me, my feelings were 
greatly excited, and I was ready to 
cry, O that the period were come, 
when with my friends beloved and 
dear, I might, from worshiping here 



DEVOTIONAL EXERCISES. 185 

in temples made with hands, go to 
worship in the New Jerusalem, where 
sin does not enter, nor separation mar 
the bliss." 

^'November 3d. Newcastle. I num- 
bered twenty years of my weary pil- 
grimage, in this place last Saturday. 
Great sufferings and greater mercies 
mark every year of the term. Lord, 
forgive my numerous offences. The 
last year, is a period to be remembered 
by nearly thirty here. Glory to God 
in the highest ! This pays for all my 
sufferings. Thanks to God for the rich 
compensation. O take the dear youth 
in my family, who are strangers to 
Thee, and bring them into thy service! 
When I see a precious number around 
my table, my desires are kindled, that 
they should devote themselves now, in 
the morning of life, to thy service; 
16* 



186 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

that their strength, talents, and youth- 
ful years, be consecrated to my God. 
O compel them to enlist under the 
banner of King Jesus !" 

In the year 1816, there was in New- 
castle, an ear to listen to the word of 
life; and in the following year a re- 
vival of religion. Into this good work, 
Mrs. B. entered with her whole heart. 
Though in feeble health, she was 
strong in the Lord; and evinced her 
abundant willingness, to spend and be 
spent, for the good of perishing souls. 
The instructions which she gave to 
serious inquirers, and to others, and 
the ardent prayers which she offered, 
were perhaps as much blessed as the 
public ministrations of the pastor. How 
delightful, to see the youthful females 
of the congregation, going weekly to 
Mrs. Bay ley's chamber to be instructed 



A REVIVAL OF RELIGION. 187 

in the things which pertain to salvation; 
and the mothers on another day, con- 
vening to pray for them. Doubtless 
the angels in heaven rejoice over such 
scenes as these. 



188 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 



CHAPTER XII. 

Devotional exercises. Death of an early friend. De- 
cease of Mrs. Mitchell. Extract from a letter. De 
votional exercises. Decease of Mrs. Brooks. Mr. 
Bayley's pastoral relation dissolved. 

Enoch walked with God; and so have 
some of the heavenly family, in every 
age. It is delightful to follow the 
spiritual pilgrim in his journey outward 
to a better country. Sometimes he 
may seem to be stationary, or even 
retrograde in his movements. But on 
the whole, it will be easy to see that 
he makes progress. It is characteristic 
of him in prosperity and adversity, 
in joy, and in sorrow, that he walks 
with God. If the sunshine of heaven 
illumine his way, he gives thanks to 



DEVOTIONAL EXERCISES. 189 

the bounteous giver; if called to walk 
in the mists of sorrow, and night of 
afflictioUj he humbles himself, and still 
makes supplication to his maker. To 
him, God is all in all; the Father is 
his Father; Jesus Christ is Alpha and 
Omega, the Holy Spirit his illuminator, 
Sanctifier, and Comforter. Such was 
the state and history of Mrs. Bayley; 
and in perusing her writings, and con- 
templating her labors, and course of 
life; it is not difficult to perceive that 
she made marked advances toward the 
heavenly world. 

^' March 18, 1818. Sabbath. This 
holy morning being fine, I had longing 
desires to visit the sanctuary. Thither 
the friends of God go up, while I sit 
here and weep unseen, and sigh at 
the mercy-seat, for support. Hope whis- 
pers in gentle accents, to my troubled 



190 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

heartj and tells me that the promised 
land is near: there remaineth a rest 
to the people of God. My Father, I 
thank thee for this sweet cordial, sent 
to keep me from sinking. Continue 
thus to support me, and I can endure 
the lancet, the probe, and the cor- 
rosive. 

'^I called the members of my family 
who could not attend meeting, into my 
chamber that I might instruct them : 
Lord bless the instruction. 

"I have four or five orphan children 
in my family, besides other dear youth, 
who need advice and instruction. My 
God, instruct me, that I may know 
how to instruct them. The wards 
thou hast given to our care, I give 
to thy special mercy ; O accept them ! 
Take the dear amiable young man 
under thy special protection: direct his 



DEVOTIONAL EXERCISES. 191 

Steps and lead him in the way ever- 
lasting. Choose thou, the business thou 
wouldst have him to engage in: but, 
above every other consideration, con- 
strain him to seek first the kingdom of 
God, and his righteousness; and in so 
doing he will be prepared to serve 
Thee, and his generation. I would 
leave all my family with Thee, begging 
for each of them, an interest in the 
dear Redeemer." 

^'Sabbath 29th. Fatigued with long 
attention to my young family, I retire 
to the study for relief. Here may I 
meet with Him, whom my soul loveth, 
I have trials to endure, and need grace 
to keep me from complaining. One 
moment in heaven will pay for all I 
have endured, or can endure on earth, 
should life be continued to its latest 
date." 



192 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

^^ April 1st. Hearing a few days since 
of the death of one whom I loved in 
early life, as a friend of Jesus, I fell 
into a pensive strain, and was ready 
to cry. Must I be left alone? Will all 
the dear pilgrims with whom I early 
held sweet converse on things relating 
to the heavenly Canaan, pass over be- 
fore me into the good land! Well, be 
it so. If I may at last be gathered 
with them, weary and wet with the 
storms and toils of the wilderness, I 
will not complain, though life be pro* 
tracted to three-score years and ten." 

"April 2d. This day is appointed by 
the Governor of the Commonwealth, for 
a general fast. O that he and the 
people over whom he presides as chief 
magistrate, may keep the day agreeably 
to the Spirit of it; as it will doubtless 



DEATH OF AN EARLY FRIEND. 193 

be observed by some humble followers 
of Christ. 

"In turning to the effusions of dear 
Fanny Woodbury's pen, I find such 
sympathetic feelings awakened in my 
bosom with love for the dear Pilgrim, 
I take courage, that I shall one day 
mingle notes with her in the land of 
eternal bliss. May some kind angel 
stand by, when my redeemed spirit 
breaks from its prison and its sufier- 
ings, to guard me on to the courts of 
my God, where Jesus stands to wel- 
come travelers home. 

"When earthly friends wound my 
heart, may it excite no fearful emo- 
tions. I had rather my heart would 
break with grief, than swell with hard 
feelings towards any one. Any degree 
of fretfulness gives me the greatest sor- 
row. Grief softens, resentment tears the 
17 



194 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

heart. I long for a shower of divine 
grace to distill upon us: may heavenly 
dews descend, and water all around. 

'^ December 1. Give me power to re- 
cord the greatest of all thy mercies, 
that of hoping that from eternity thine 
eye of electing love was set upon me. 
Here rests all my comfort. O has 
Jesus atoned for my transgressions? 
What gratitude; what love; what praise, 
I owe thee ! O my Saviour, let it be 
my highest aim to honor thee! Blessed 
be God, for the good hope that my 
pilgrimage, long and weary, is now 
drawing to a close. My. sun seems 
setting, as the millennial morn rises: 
but I willingly leave my friends to 
enjoy the peaceful period. I had rather 
be in heaven, where there will not be 
a possibility of offending my Lord. 

"Then farewell, my dear husband: 



DEVOTIONAL EXERCISES. 195 

God reward your kindness to me a 
thousand-fold, in spiritual blessings, I 
go before to welcome your arrival. 
Farewell all my dear household. God 
grant us a happy meeting, with the 
redeemed family above. Farewell, church 
and people of our sacred connection. 
May blessings of the upper and nether 
springs be yours. 

Dear spot, where first my race began, 
Farewell ! and thou, poor world, adieu ! 

I leave thy dreary coast, 
With Zion's port in view. 

^^ October 30th, 1819. The Lord reigns ! 
His power extends through the universe. 
By it I am upheld. And it is sufficient 
to uphold me. in the dark region of 
despair. I am suffering more to-day 
than I can describe. Dear Jesus, thou 
art my only hope. O, give me faith 
in thy name ! Let not thy mercy, in 



196 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

which is all my trust, fail me. Bestow 
the long requested favor upon this peo- 
ple ; open the windows of heaven, and 
pour down blessings, special and divine, 
upon the dear branch of the church 
here planted." 

As we have seen, Mrs. Bayley was 
no stranger to affliction. She was called 
again into the school by the sickness 
and death of a very dear friend ; Mrs. 
M., wife of Rev. D. M. Mitchell, of 
Waldoborough. 

^^ November. Must I let my Rebecca 
go ? O, my full heart, where will the 
next arrow enter ? I need much grace. 
O, may I so improve this affliction, as 
to need no more of this kind. How 
have I hoped to have her tender bosom 
to lean upon, when going down the 
banks of Jordan. But if I have my 
dear Redeemer's, it will be infinitely 



EXTRACT FROM A LETTER. 197 

better. Dear child of my love, dear 
friend of my heart, adieu. How much 
you will gain by an exchange of worlds ! 
O, for preparation for the heavenly world ! 
Long have I been beating on this in- 
clement coast. How much longer, O my 
God? 

^' November 26. Blessed be God ! I 
learn that my Rebecca is more comfort- 
able. I pray for a heart to improve the 
blessing aright. And may my dear child 
feel her obligation to devote herself anew 
to God." 

Extract from a letter to Mrs. Green- 
leaf, of Newburyport. February 28, 
1820. 

. . ^^ Yesterday Mr. Dole came to 
my house, and caused my heart to dic- 
tate grateful acknowledgments to the 
Father of all grace and consolation, for 
a precious cordial for my fainting heart, 
17^ 



198 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

prepared by the hands of two most ten- 
derly beloved friends in my native place. 
I was sitting in my little recess, receiv- 
ing attention from a dear spiritual child, 
given me in the refreshing shower we 
were favored with in 1816. My dear 
husband was absent. He had gone to 
Waldoborough, to attend the funeral of 
my dear, much loved Rebecca. Her 
precious remains were committed to the 
dust on Saturday afternoon. Having 
preached on the solemn occasion, my 
husband did not, by reason of the damp 
weather and his exhaustion, return till 
Monday afternoon. His feelings as well 
as mine were deeply interested in the 
solemn and tender scene. But we can 
do and bear all things, God strengthen- 
ing us. A great assembly was convened 
at the funeral ; but our beloved was 
surrounded by a multitude infinitely 



DEVOTIONAL EXERCISES. 199 

greater, which no man can number, of 
holy angels and glorified saints. O, my 
friend, are we going to that blessed 
society ; to the kingdom where our dear 
Redeemer reigns gloriously over all his 
happy subjects ? May we then go on 
our way rejoicing, even when sorrows 
press, and difficulties cluster around us." 
"January 29, 1821. Blessed be thy 
name, O God of mercy, for the innu- 
merable favors of my life ! Time would 
be far too short, though lengthened to 
its latest period, to recite all the acts 
of kindness I have received from my 
bountiful Benefactor. Many years have 
I been an undeserving object of thy 
care : thy mercies have been constant 
as my beating pulse. My temporal 
mercies have been great, my spiritual 
mercies greater ; and all connected with 
my eternal good. I am lost as I glance 



200 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS.x 

at them. O, blessed God, it is not 
enough that redeeming love will be my 
eternal theme ; I must begin it here ! 
Lord, capacitate me more and more for 
the blessed employment. It is my hap- 
piness now to be employed in it ; and 
it will be my happiness for ever. I 
cannot conceive of being happy unless 
I have a spirit to adore thee for the 
work of redemption. Here all the per- 
fections of God shine forth ; mercy and 
truth meet together ; righteousness and 
peace embrace each other ; all the divine 
attributes harmonize. O, blessed employ- 
ment, to be for ever engaged in con- 
templating the triune God, and with 
increasing delight ! O, for preparation 
for bliss so great ! Welcome every cross, 
every future suffering, that will prepare 
me for the sweet, eternal work! 

" January 10. I remember the day 



DECEASE OF MRS. BROOKS. 201 

when a pious widow, clad in decent 
apparelj called upon me, and after sit- 
ting awhile, saying but little, yet exhib- 
iting a countenance that bespoke a heart 
filled with care, arose to go. I gently 
asked her, if she were in want. Her 
eyes filled with tears, and suppressing a 
sigh, she said, 'Yes.' This was a mo- 
ment never to be forgotten. Heart then 
met heart, and from that moment be- 
came reciprocally one. It was an hour 
when experience taught, that it is more 
blessed to give than to receive. The 
pious widow gratefully acknowledged the 
faithfulness of her God ; while the giver 
rejoiced in being his almoner to such a 
worthy subject." 

Mrs. Bayley was again called to 
mourning, by the death of a very dear 
and excellent friend, Mrs. Brooks, wife 
of A. Brooks, Esq. Of this painful 



202 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

event she thus speaks: ^^ My Rebecca 
being taken away, I dropped a tear, 
and turned to my dear Alethia, and 
told her how my heart bled. She re- 
ceived the mournful account with more 
than the sympathy of a sister. She felt 
as a friend of kindred feelings, and by 
her friendly pen soothed my sorrows. 
But just as I began to feel that I had 
yet one comforter of kindred mind, who 
might accompany me down the bank of 
death's cold stream, disease seized her 
also, and gave her into the hand of the 
destroyer. She saw the foe of nature, 
but friend of her better part, approach- 
ing, and feeling the affections of her 
tender heart flowing toward her grief- 
worn friend, called for her pen, and 
commissioned it to report the assurance 
of her dying love, sighing out, ' Your 
own Alethia : ' then she dropped her 



DECEASE OF MRS. BROOKS. 203 

pen, and plumed her wings. But why 
this deep, long sigh? In nobler employ- 
ments she is now engaged ; with friends 
infinitely more dear and excellent than 
those she has left, she is now sur- 
rounded. Now she beholds Him, who 
hung upon the cross, to bring her to 
glory, and her whole soul is filled with 
gratitude and praise. She enjoys the 
company of patriarchs and prophets ; of 
apostles and martyrs ; of Christians of 
earlier and later days : and her enjoy- 
ments will never fail. No sickness, pain 
nor sin to fear. Happy soul, thy suf- 
ferings and thy conflicts are ended. I 
congratulate you on your release from 
prison — your arrival in the blissful world 
where Jesus reigns and smiles on all 
the happy myriads redeemed by his 
blood. When at my Father's call, I 
leave my poor tenement, I hope through 



204 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 



sovereign grace to meet thee near the 
throne, 



And with thee humbly bow, and sing 
Sweet songs of praise to Christ, our King. 

'^January 15, 1822. The cloud hang- 
ing over me is thick and dark. Every 
ray of light seems extinguished, save a 
little glimmering that now and then 
gleams on my soul, from the idea that 
God is merciful. But my sorrows are 
not all on my own account. Lord, thou 
knowest the concern of my soul for the 
people with which we are connected ; 
for the low state of religion ; for the 
precious souls of my family in a Christ- 
less state ; for distant friends and rela- 
tions ; for the Jews, the near kinsmen 
of my adorable Redeemer ; for poor Af- 
ricans ; for a world lying in sin. To 
pity and pray is all I can do. O God, 



DEVOTIONAL EXERCISES. 205 

hear my cries for all ; and let me live 
to record thy faithfulness, thy mercy 
shown to a feeble orphan claiming thy 
promises. 

Jesus, to thee I raise my cry, 
On thee alone mj hopes rely ; 

0, pity my distress. 
Of health and friends I feel bereft, 
And in my lonely dwelling left, 

I need supporting grace. 

^^ December 2 — Lord's day. I cannot 
attend divine worship ; but would miite 
with all the Lord's people in prayer for 
the effusion of the Holy Spirit. Lord, 
assist my husband in the services of 
the sanctuary. I long for the outpour- 
ing of the Holy Spirit on my own soul, 
on the souls of all in my family, the 
church and people. I plead in all the 
earnestness of my soul. Hear me, O my 
God, for Jesus' sake. My heart is 
18 



206 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

moved Avithin me for poor perishing 
sinners of every place and nation under 
heaven. O come forth, King Messiah, 
as a mighty conqueror, and subdue the 
hearts of the children of men ! O, let 
these breathings of my soul at thy foot- 
stool, be followed with songs of praise 
and thanksgiving ! 

"November 27, 1823. Blessed be God, 
while my life remains and my suffer- 
ings continue, I feel inclined to hang 
upon him by prayer. For some time 
my mind has been in a praying frame, 
with longing for preparation for glory. 
The unconverted of my family press 
tenderly on my mind." 

Letter to Mrs. Mary Little. 

'^ November 30. I thank you tenderly, 
loved Mrs. Little, for calling yesterday. 
Sweet is the sympathy of friends. May 
God reward your love. To-day my 



LETTER TO MRS. LITTLE. 207 

harp hangs on the willow — my soul is 
in heaviness. My husband sits solitary, 
while my heart is too full to say much 
to him. May God be his supporter, and 
the comforter of the dear church, the 
object of our most tender concern. 
Never, my dear — no, never did my 
heart flow out to you in love more 
tender, than since this season of sore 
affliction. When dear Mrs. Farley came 
in on Friday, I was ready to exclaim, 
' And must we part ? ' I long to go 
with you, as in days past, to the place 
where prayer is wont to be made. But 
alas ! here the deep sigh arises. How 
long, dear Jesus, shall the dark day 
remain ? Pity our case, regard our 
griefs, and return to us again. May 
the blessed Head of the Church so 
sanctify our trials, that when our suf- 
ferings are over, we may meet and sit 



208 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

down together at the marriage supper of 
the Lamb. Till that happy hour ar- 
rives, may you and yours be safe under 
the wing of the Almighty. a. a b." 

^' November 30. This month closes in 
a few hours. Blessed be God for the 
supports of it. Great have been my 
sufferings and my ill-deserts. O for a 
humble, thankful, adoring heart ! 

*' December 13th. Thinking I must be- 
gin to set my domestic affairs in order, 
to depart to some other portion of God's 
heritage, my feelings are much tried. 
Newcastle is dear to me on many ac- 
counts. Some with whom I formed pleas- 
ant acquaintance here, have gone over 
Jordan, and in the Canaan of rest are 
now praising Thee, while I am here 
weeping, almost alone. But some be- 
loved ones remain, with whom I had 
hoped to finish my course. Lord, sup- 



DEVOTIONAL EXERCISES. 209 

port me and them under the sore trial 
of separation. I feel likewise for my 
dear family, which in a few months 
must scatter. O Thou, who hast been 
my helper during my long and weari- 
some pilgrimage, hear me now while I 
plead for some little spot, where I may 
spend the remainder of my days in 
some useful manner ! 

^'Saturday, 20th. With holy gratitude 
I would acknowledge the goodness of 
God to me last evening and night. 
The distress I suffered so much through 
the day, was abated in the evening, so 
that I went to my chamber in a com- 
fortable state both of body and mind. 
O, how is my debt of gratitude in- 
creased! To-day my desires for the sal- 
vation of my dear family, from whom I 
must soon be separated, and the dear 
people of our late charge, are ardent. 
18* 



210 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

Have mercy on the dear youth ; keep 
them from falUng into temptation ; and 
O, provide for them a seat among thy 
redeemed ones. Give me faith to plead 
in thy name, and a holy reliance on 
thy blessed promises. In thee is all my 
hope : O let me not be ashamed !" 

Here closes the records of Mrs. Bay- 
ley's pen for this year. The latter part 
of it was a season of great trial and 
affliction. At Mr. Bayley's request, an 
Ecclesiastical Council was called in the 
autumn of this year, and his pastoral 
relation to the church and people in 
Newcastle was dissolved, after he had 
served almost twenty-seven years. Thus 
some of Mrs. Bayley's fondest hopes 
were blighted ; she was very tenderly 
attached to the church and people ; she 
had expected to spend the residue of 
her days with them, to die with thera 



PASTORAL RELATION DISSOLVED. 211 

and to rise with them in the bright 
morning of the resurrection. But God 
thought otherwise. 

r More than a hundred young persons 
had resided in the family in Newcastle : 
no one had been confined by sickness ; 
a death had not occurred in the habi- 
tation for six-and-twenty years ; some 
of the youth were hopefully pious when 
they went to reside in the family; oth- 
ers while there, were in the judgment 
of charity, converted to God ; all re- 
ceived much good instruction, and doubt- 
less salutary impressions ; some in due 
time became ministers of the gospel. 
What happy influences were put in mo- 
tion and spread abroad toward the four 
winds by the hundred young persons, 
God only knows ; influences which will 
descend through all time, and never 
cease. 



212 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 



CHAPTER XIII. 

Leaves Newcastle. Journeys into Vermont. Labors in 
Greensborough, Vt., for the religious improvement of 
young women,. Takes the charge of a class in the 
Sabbath school. Devotional exercises. 

The ancient patriarchs confessed that 
they were strangers and pilgrims on the 
earth ; and they sought a country, not 
indeed that which some of them had 
left, but a better, a heavenly country. 
All true believers are spiritual pilgrims. 
Such undoubtedly was the subject of 
the memoir, journeying towards, and 
longing for, her heavenly home. She 
was a literal pilgrim, the greatest part 
of her life ; having after the death of 
her parents no abiding home in her 
earlier years. After her settlement in 



LEAVES NEWCASTLE. 213 

Newcastle, she thought that her hteral 
pilgrimage was ended. But it was the 
Divine will that some of her most de- 
hghtful associations should be broken 
up. The affliction was severe ; but it 
was evidently sanctified to her. The 
following stanzas will show her tender- 
ness of feeling and deep grief at parting 
with her home and friends. 

Eeflections occasioned by my leaving my home on the banks 
of the Damariscotta^ June 17, 1824, just before sunset. 

Pensive travelers, hence we go, 
Oppress' d with many a nameless wo ; 
Distrustful where our steps to move, 
Or what untrodden path to prove. 
Saviour divine, impart thy light 
To lead our doubtful footsteps right, 
And let thy cloud and pillar be 
The sure and constant guide' from thee. 

But 0, the anguish of my heart, 
From most I love, how can I part ? 
Of home, and friends with whom I dweU, 
How can I take the last farewell V 



214 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

How take of all things here, adieu, 
These streams and fields I lov'd to view, 
And leave my home at close of day. 
To take the pilgrim's lonely way : 
My home, where oft with willing feet, 
I've run the man of God to meet ; 
Or giv'n the needed couch for rest 
To some poor pilgrim, care-opprest ? 

But hush, my heart, nor dare complain ; 
It is thy God doth thus ordain ; 
And what he doth is sure to be 
Most suitable, and fit for thee, 
I pause, reflect, and will obey 
Thy will, my God, to go, or stay ; 
And while thy mandate to depart, 
I plainly hear, be still, my heart. 
And seek no more on earth for rest^ 
But look above among the blest. 
And while to earth I am confin'd, 
0, make me to thy will resign' d ; 
To go where call'd, to stay when bid, 
And try to do as Abraham did ; 
Resign my home, my friends, and all 
I value on this earthly ball, 
A stranger o'er the world to roam. 
Till God shall please to call me home. 



JOURNEYS INTO VERMONT. 215 

Mr. and Mrs. B. journeyed consider- 
ably during the remaining portion of 
this year ; and he suppUed for a season 
successively several congregations, and 
was generally thus employed till the 
autumn of 1825, when he entered into 
a contract with the church and congre- 
gation in Greensborough, Vt., to supply 
their desk for four years. During this 
period Mrs. B. suffered considerably from 
ill health, and sometimes from depression 
of spirits : but her mind was active, and 
she labored to benefit the young women 
by giving them instruction from the 
Scriptures. Nor was she contented with 
labor only ; when seventy years of age, 
she took the charge of a class in Sab- 
bath school. 

Extracts from a letter to the wife of 
the writer, dated 

^' Greensborough, September 4, 1826. 



216 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

. . . '^It is with the affection of a 
mother, I take my pen to say, that 
you, your dear husband and children, 
still live with unabated affection in the 
heart of the grief-worn pilgrim, who 
two years since began a personal ac- 
quaintance with you, in your resting- 
place on the banks of Lake Champlain ; 
an acquaintance and friendship which I 
humbly trust will continue, till it is 
perfected in glory. 

^^A day or two since we received a 
short, but welcome favor from your 
husband, narrating the feeble state of 
your health. . . . Blessed be God, 
my painful anticipations were not real- 
ized ; my dear L yet lives, and I 

pray she may live to train the precious 
immortals committed to her care for use- 
fulness here, glory and immortality here- 
after. 



EXTRACTS FROM A LETTER. 217 

. . . ^' Friends were in my earliest 
days the chief treasure of my heart. 
But however loved or needful to me, 
they must go when called for ; neither 
tears, nor prayers, nor my solitary state, 
availed aught. When the summons 
came, parents, brothers, sisters, children, 
and friends of dearest name, left me. 
But to solace my heart, my heavenly 
Father called me to active life for 
nearly thirty years on the banks of the 
Damariscotta, in Maine. Here I labored 
and entertained a large number of the 
family of the dear Redeemer. The 
pleasure I found in making all who 
came within my doors comfortable, re- 
pelled that inclination to pensiveness, so 
apt to be felt when sorrow invaded 

my bosom. My dear L will, after 

this statement, see how liable to suffer- 
ing her afflicted friend must have been, 
19 



218 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

in the course of the last two years ; 
separated from the friends with whom 
she had been walking in Christian love 
many years, and in the presence of 
whom she expected to put off immor- 
tality : from home and its pleasant con- 
veniences ; that home, where with delight 
she seated all who came to her house 
at the seasons appointed for religious 
instruction and prayer. And now, at 
the going down of her sun, she finds 
herself torn from all those endearments, 
and among strangers ; not a friend of 
kindred feeling to soothe the heart. But 
no more ; the feeling hearts of my dear 
children will know how to pray for 
their distant friend, who ceases not to 
think of them with the most tender 
love." 

*^ January 1, 1827. The year 1826 has 
rolled into eternity. . . . Most of my 



DEVOTIONAL EXERCISES. 219 

beloved friends are gone over Jordan, 
and I trust, while I am mourning the 
want of their society, they are perfectly 
happy without me. In this I rejoice, 
and hope ere long to overtake them, 
and though unworthy, to rejoice with 
them in the presence of our Beloved. 

" January 7. Open, O God of power 
and mercy, the windows of heaven, 
and rain down righteousness upon the 
land, particularly upon this state, county 
and town. O hasten the fulfillment of 
thy promise to Abraham thy friend, 
respecting his seed, and bring them 
to inherit the blessing thou hast prom- 
ised them ! And may the Gentiles soon 
be brought from the ends of the earth 
to the love and obedience of faith in 
the risen, glorified Messiah. I now set 
my face toward the stream, that di- 
vides this from the pleasant land. O my 



220 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

Saviour, lead me safely to, and merci- 
fully through, the dark valley to a 
place in thy kingdom above. 

. . . '^ Thou kno west my desire to 
serve thy cause. I want something to 
put into thy treasury for the support of 
the blessed Gospel. I appeal to thee, 
my God, that it is my heart's desire 
to serve thee. If I may not here, 

prepare me for heaven, and take me 
hence ! 

. . . *^ I look to thee, with whom is 
the residue of the Spirit, for wisdom 
and every needed grace to make my 
instruction profitable to my Bible class. 

1 feel my dependence on thee, O God ; 
may I experience thy blessing in the 
conversion of souls. I long for the out- 
pouring of the Holy Spirit in this place, 
in my family, upon my own soul. 

^^Feb. I am interrupted in stating my 



DEVOTIONAL EXERCISES. 221 

desires, by the coming of an African 
little boy. Lord, hear a petition I send 
warm from my heart, that a mansion 
may be given him in thy kingdom 
above. My soul is moved for the cru- 
elties with which these poor people are 
treated. O hasten the time when they 
shall be made free in Christ, and be- 
come the sons and daughters of the 
living God ! 

^^ May 27th. As in a dry and thirsty 
land, where no water is, the weary 
traveler faints and tires on his way, 
so, O God, my spirits languish and 
faint as I slowly move toward heaven 
my home ; while I find but here and 
there a stream, in this barren wilder- 
ness, at which I may slake my burning 
thirst. Pity me, O my God, and refresh 
my languishing soul with draughts of 
divine consolation, issuing from the river 
19^ 



222 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

that flows from above, or take me home, 
where my hungry, thirsty soul may be 
satisfied. . . . Lord^ thou knowest my 
heart ! I think the strongest desire of 
it is to honor thee, by doing something 
to promote thy glory among the fallen 
race of Adam — something for poor per- 
ishing sinners in this world of woe. 
The two poor African children I take 
to instruct, dear Jesus, do thou compas- 
sionate, or all I can do will be of no 
avail to them. My pity is excited, and 
I am willing to take up the cross in 
giving them what instruction I can, but 
all my efforts will be in vain, if thou, 
Lord, do not bless. 

'^I thank thee, blessed God, that my 
greatest delight is in reading the- Ora- 
cles of divine truth, calling upon thee 
for likeness to thy blessed self, en- 
deavoring to cultivate a spirit of true 



DEVOTIONAL EXERCISES. 223 

holiness, in the company of thy dear 
children, in the hope of pardon for in- 
numerable transgressions. For, alas ! 
with my hopes for mercy through the 
dear Redeemer, I have to acknowledge 
great ingratitude, great want of submis- 
sion. But with all the deformity sin 
has made in my heart, I do hope, that 
ere long I shall be made perfect in the 
likeness of God, and thus be prepared for 
the society and employment of heaven. 

^'Visited and was kindly treated. But 
I found it very difficult to treat my 
conscience kindly. I endeavored to have 
my conversation on such subjects, as 
would become candidates for eternity ; 
but the most trifling thing v/ould divert 
my attention. / canH visit in this way ; 
it costs me too much. 

^* Oct. 16th. Enter not into judgment 
with me, O Lord, but show me thy 



224 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

mercy. This morning I had a sad 
proof of the wickedness of my heart, 
and I hope I was immediately led to 
confess my sinfulness before God, with 
real abhorrence and hatred of soul. My 
trials are great, but the greatest of all 
is a sinful heart. 

''I bless thee, O God, for bringing to 
me the account of dear Mr. Scott's pil- 
grimage. This, with his Commentary 
on the blessed Bible, is food to my hun- 
gry mind. 

" Nov. 11th. I find in the account of 
some of the remarks of our late be- 
loved friend. Dr. Payson, this memora- 
ble reply : when asked, if he could see 
any particular reason for his sufferings, 
' No,' answered he ; ^ but I am as well 
satisfied, as if I could see ten thousand. 
God's will is the perfection of all rea- 
son.' This remark, I desire to have 



DEVOTIONAL EXERCISES. 225 

transcribed on my heart, that when I 
may be tempted to think that such and 
such providences appear dark and mys- 
terious, I may silence all improper feel- 
ings by having recourse to this remark, 
which I pray may ever remain in my 
memory : ^ God's will is the perfection 
of all reason.' 

^^'And now that I am seated in my lit- 
tle room, I invoke thy presence, blessed 
Father, Son, and Holy Ghost, to be 
with me, enlarging my heart, in plead- 
ing for the advancement of the dear 
Redeemer's cause in our fallen world. 
That all v/ho are near to me by con- 
sanguinity, affinity, or acquaintance, es- 
pecially those I call my friends, who 
bear the image of the blessed Jesus, 
the ministers of Christ everywhere, 
dear missionaries of the cross, may en- 
joy thy presence- I make this record 



226 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

of God's faithfulness, power and mercy, 
that I may not forget, that the God of 
my early days is the same now when 
years are increased, and the time of my 
departure is near. That I am preserved 
when most I knew and loved are gone, 
is matter of wonder even to astonish- 
ment. O that my imworthy self may 
in some way be promotive of the divine 
glory ! 

^^ March 7th, 1828. The season of 
prayer with dear distant friends returns. 

that I may be favored with the aids 
of the Holy Spirit ! Having read over 
the names of the persons, and objects, 

1 desire to pray for, I would desire this 
once, if I may not again, to go unto the 
King and plead for them all, and each, 
in the name of Him whom the Father 
always heareth. 

'^I would come with my wants to thee, 



DEVOTIONAL EXERCISES. 227 

O Lord ; turn not away thy face from 
thine handmaid. Lead me now, O thou 
kind preserver of my weary body, safely 
to my resting-place in the grave. And 
if it may be consistent with thy blessed 
will, give me a short, peaceful, quiet 
passage across the stream that divides 
this from Canaan's blessed land. 

^' April 22d. The early years of my 
childhood were marked with sickness 
and pains, and deep convictions of sin. 
My heart, like the rest of Adam's race, 
was totally depraved ; but it pleased 
God to give me a conscience tender 
and susceptible, quick and alive to the 
least deviation from the divine Law. 
O how many reproofs it has given me, 
beginning as early as I can remember ; 
reproving and condemning even the se- 
cret thoughts of my heart! I knew my- 
self to be an old sinner before I had 



228 A PILGKTM OF NINETY YEARS. 

counted my first ten years. And yet, 
O yet I went on sinning ; God chasten- 
ing sometimes more heavily than at 
others, but never contrary to the voice 
of conscience ! Had my improvement 
kept pace with God's varied dealings, 
what a proficient should I have been 
in the school of Christ ! How ripe for 
heaven ! 

'^ April 18th. ' I cried unto the Lord 
in my distress, and he heard me.' I 
was pressed down with a heavy trial, 
which I had borne some time, and could 
with David say, ' Deliver me from lying 
lips.' Things had been laid to my 
charge I was innocent of, therefore I 
could plead with the Lord. And to his 
blessed name be everlasting praise! be- 
fore I left my closet he did undertake 
for me, and sent one of the persons 
who had caused my suffering, to see 



DEVOTIONAL EXERCISES. 229 

me, and gave me an opportunity to 
converse with him freely and faithfully 
on the subject. Bless the Lord, O my 
soul, for what he hath wrought for me 
this day. 

^^May 9th. Blessed be God, I have 
undisturbed opportunity of uniting this 
forenoon, with my dear friends in my 
native place, in humble prayer, for 
special favors, personal and relative, the 
spread of the blessed gospel, for the 
conversion of Jews and Gentiles. O my 
heavenly Father, draw me by the aid 
of thine Holy Spirit, into thy presence- 
chamber, and there allow me to pour 
out my soul before thee in humble sup- 
plication. I know I deserve not this 
mercy ; but for the dear Redeemer's 
sake, spurn me not from thy presence. 

"August 28th. In giving me hope of 
rest with him, in his kingdom, I desire 
20 



230 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

that God would make me perfectly willing 
to endure interruptions, sickness, pain, 
and distress of any kind, his wisdom 
sees fit to order. 

'*In my various petitions which I pre- 
sent to thee, my heavenly Father, hear 
me, while in the anguish of my soul, 
I do entreat thee to conquer by thy all- 
powerful grace and mercy in my heart, 
the sin that doth so easily beset me. 
Lord, thou knowest it has ever given 
me the most excruciating reflections. I 
abhor myself on account of it, and 
would repent as in dust and ashes." 

By such remarks, Mrs. B. showed 
great tenderness of conscience, and readi- 
ness to judge and condemn herself. 
'* But," says Mr. B., '^ after living with 
her more than fifty years, I am unable 
to decide what she called her easily 
besetting sin." 



DEVOTIONAL EXERCISES. 231 

'' Feb. 20th, 1829. My thoughts are 
with my dear departed friends in glory. 
O, my Father in heaven, prepare me 
to go and meet them ! Enable me to 
plead with thee by a true and living 
faith, that when I put off the garments 
of mortality, I may be clothed with the 
robes Jesus has prepared for all who 
iove him. I long to possess his blessed 
Spirit, to be prepared for holy society, 
and to meet the dear Redeemer. Most 
of tho^e I truly love are with thee in 
glory. O prepare the few that remain 
for the same blessedness ! 

I long for the descent of thy blessed 
Spirit here upon all who call them- 
selves by thy name, upon neighbors and 
society. I long to hear of sinners in- 
quiring the way to Zion, and that our 
colleges, schools, and seminaries of learn- 
ing, are receiving showers of divine 



232 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

grace. May the precious Institution on 
the Penobscot grow under divine culti- 
vation, and become instrumental in pre- 
paring pious youth for the service of 
the sanctuary. 

" March 15th. Lord, be with my dear 
husband wherever called to preach in 
thy name. Bless all the ambassadors 
of Christ engaged to-day in negotiating 
peace between God and perishing souls. 
Be gracious to the inhabitants of this 
place. Bless my friends, and for Jesus' 
sake, forgive those who have wounded 
and grieved me. 

'^ To-day expect company. Lord, be 
with my heart and tongue, that I of- 
fend not with my lips, nor utter a word 
God will not approve. 

" May 7th. In reading the lives, and 
the dying exercises of many of thy 
dear saints now in glory, my soul is 



DEVOTIONAL EXERCISES. 233 

greatly refreshed from day to day. For 
ever blessed be my heavenly Father for 
the wakeful hours of night. Many of 
my nights bring sweet solace to my 
soul. Blessed God, I thank thee for 
hope beyond the grave, for longing de- 
sires to be near and like thee. 



20^ 



234 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 



CHAPTER XIV. 

Removal from Greensborough, Vermont, to Thornton, 
New Hampshire. Formation of a Bible Class and 
labors for the religious improvement of the young fe- 
males of the place. Some of them hopefully converted. 
Removal from Thornton to Hardwich, Vermont. Devo- 
tional exercises. 

Our aged pilgrim is literally on her jour- 
ney. It was the will of God that she 
should be useful in various ways and 
places. And without the name, perhaps 
without the thought, she was a female 
missionary, often itinerant. 

'' Thornton, New Hampshire, June 4th. 
Having obtained mercy of our heavenly 
Father, we arrived here safely Saturday, 
May 30th. The roads being unsettled 1 
was quite fatigued, and am yet quite un- 
well. On the Sabbath I went to meeting 



REMOVAL TO THORNTON. 235 

in the afternoon. All were strangers and 
indeed appeared as though they meant 
to be so. Not one came to speak to me 
or even gave a social look. As my 
heart was pained by the recent separation 
from all I loved at Greensboro', I was 
led to look up to my soul's best friend 
for support. When I got to my lodgings, 
being overcome in body and mind, I fell 
on my pillow, and eased my full heart a 
little in breathing out my feelings and 
desires to Him who seeth in secret, and 
regardeth the sighs of all his afflicted 
ones. 1 ask not for any of the great 
things of this world. Thy presence, with 
an opportunity to do something in Thy 

cause is all I ask for, is all I want. 
And in order that I may meet death 
with composure, enable me, heavenly 
Father, to familiarize myself daily, with 
the idea of dying^ that the solemn 



236 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

event may not surprise me. And O, may 
I make it my great concern to see that 
my life is hidden with Christ ; that 
when called for, I may go to live with 
Him in glory ! " 

August 6th. She made her last visit 
at Newburyport. 

^'Journal. Seated in the town where 
my first tear was shed, and where they 
now flow, I call upon thee, my God, 
for grace and strength, as every day 
needeth. From my heart I can now say, 
farewell beloved spot, where my never- 
dying existence commenced. I sigh no 
more to dwell within thy limits. In a 
day or two I leave forever, the place 
long dear to this aching heart. Peace 
be within thy bounds and prosperity at- 
tend thy industrious inhabitants. May 
thy churches be as a band of brothers; 
and thy ministers united in the Gospel. 



DEVOTIONAL EXERCISES. 237 

And may the prayers of the righteous, 
which have ascended in this place, be 
remembered, and answered in the salva- 
tion of many souls." 

The following were written at Thorn- 
ton, New Hampshire, when she was 
seventy-six years of age. 

" Here as I sit and sigh alone 
Among New Hampshire's hills unknown, 
A thought does now and then arise, 
That soothes my heart, and checks my sighs. 
For here on every hill and tree, 
My great Creator's hand I see; 
That blessed hand, that hitherto 
Has brought me many dangers through: 
The hand that pointed out the way. 
Through many a lonely, cloudy day. 
And shall I now distrust its pow'r 
To comfort in this trying hour? 
That be forever far from Thee, 
Great God, whate'er my lot may be. 

And now to hills above the skies, 
I raise my grateful, longing eyes; 
There may I find a lasting home. 
From whence my feet shall never roam." 



238 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

After Mr. and Mrs. B. were quietly 
settled in Thornton, and she had be- 
come somewhat acquainted with the 
people, the young women and Misses 
were gathered around her into a Bible 
class and attended to with parental care. 
Once in a week they assembled in her 
room and listened to her instructions and 
her prayers. Here she was in her 
element, and these labors were not in 
vain. The youth were greatly pleased 
with, and improved under her instruction. 
Several of them, it is thought, became 
wise unto salvation, and in due time they 
confessed Christ before men. Certainly 
it was delightful to see the bloom and 
beauty of the place going with joyful 
countenance and elastic step to a matron 
of four-score years to be instructed from 
the word of God. 

^^ March 15th, 1831. . . As the most 



DEVOTIONAL EXERCISES. 239 

tender parent pitieth and forgiveth the 
offending child, so, O God, hast thou, in 
thy boundless compassion, passed by my 
innumerable sins, and led me to hope in 
thy pardoning mercy. 

"Oct. Sabbath. I have been favored to- 
day by hearing a most animating dis- 
course from Isaiah 63rd, 4th. 'For the 
day of vengeance is in my heart,' &c. 
I was greatly delighted with the ser- 
mons of the day, and pray I may profit 
by them. There appeared to be an al- 
most breathless silence through the house. 
O that the people might so hear and re- 
ceive the truth offered for their accept- 
ance from Sabbath to Sabbath, as to be 
willing to support the gospel among 
them! 

''I feel much for my dear Bible class, 
and long for their consideration of the 
things urged upon them. I desire to be 



240 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

swallowed up in God. I love my friends 
but would leave them all for God. I 
would be with the saints in God's house, 
but God can be my sanctuary here. I 
pray that my husband may be strength- 
ened to preach with power to the perish- 
ing souls of his flock. Two individuals 
have been lately hopefully converted to 
God. O may this be as a drop or two 
before a copious shower ! O that I might 
be instrumental in doing something for 
my dear Master's cause ! Lord, give me 
health and strength and a willing mind. 
All that I am and have are thine. I 
would prefer employment in thy ser- 
vice, to any thing the sun beholds in his 
circuit around the globe. 

^^ April 8, 1832. With holy gratitude 
I would note that two or three of my 
Bible class, have obtained hope in the 
pardoning mercy of God. O shall I 



DEVOTIONAL EXERCISES. 241 

one day welcome them to their man- 
sions above; and have occasion to 
praise God for being instrumental in 
doing them good? What shall I render 
unto him for mercy so great! O for 
heart and tongue and pen, to praise 
him ! " 

^^May 5th. We are again under care, 
about leaving this people. Through divine 
goodness I am not so much troubled 
about it as I have been, in leaving 
one spot for another. Our heavenly 
Father knows where to put us, and I 
desire to be disposed of just as he 
sees good. I trust some have been 
savingly benefited, by our coming here. 
And now if our work is done, I am 
willing, yea, desirous to arise and go 
where we may be employed by our 
Lord." 

"6th, Sabbath. Attended divine service 
21 



242 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

in the afternoon. Sermon excellent. 'The 
heaven, even the heavens are the Lord's.' 
Psalm 115 : 16. My heart was cheered 
■with the sentiment advanced. I longed 
for preparation to be admitted into the 
presence of the King, whose residence 
is in the third heavens. His presence 
is everywhere. During the singing of 
the thirty-third hymn, second book, I 
could hardly sustain the feelings excited, 
especially by the last verse. 

^'Yesterday visited and found it more 
comfortable to me than usual. Blessed 
be his name ! I was tried, and God 
kept me from falling; caused circum- 
staces to take place better than my 
fears. O that I may ever put my 
trust in him, cleave to him as a child 
to a parent, and rest quietly under his 
government, general and particular! All 
his ways to me during my long pil- 



DEVOTIONAL EXERCISES. 243 

grimage, have been wise, merciful, and 
kind; though chastisements have been 
mingled with all his dealings toward 
me. Every rose I have received has 
had its thorn; every flower has borne 
seeds of decay, and withered in my 
hand. Every staflT I have leaned upon 
has broken, and most have pierced me. 
Every stream by which I have sat 
down to refresh myself has disappointed 
my hopes. All, all my expectations 
from the creature, have in almost every 
respect failed. Now stripped and shown 
'my folly, I sit down, my God, to 
form a song of praise; to ofier thee 
my heart; a heart stricken, smitten, and 
in some degree prepared, I hope, to 
accept of the punishment of its ini- 
quities. 

'^ The Asiatic cholera, which has been 
desolating many parts of the Eastern 



244 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

continent for years, has crossed the 
seas, and is visiting our cities and 
commercial towns. How soon it will 
make its appearance here, I know not. 
Lord, prepare us for thy will respecting 
this and every event. Should' st thou 
lay us with the thousands that have 
peopled the regions of the dead, thy 
throne will be guiltless." 

Extract from a letter, dated July 6, 
1832. 

'^ Dear Friends : We are now on the 
point of going hence. But whither I 
know not, nor am I anxious. We* 
have but a little way now to go be- 
fore we pass over Jordan. All my cal- 
culations about seeing you and other 
friends, lie over the river. I have had 
a pleasant ladies' Bible class, Thurs- 
day afternoons, from the time of our 
coming here. Six of the young women 



.■4 



DEVOTIONAL EXERCISES. 245 

have hope that they have experienced 
rehgion, and have joined the church. 
One of them was prevented coming 
forward communion day, by sickness. 
Pray for me, dear children, that, if I 
have but a few months longer to re- 
main, I may be found in my Master's 
service." 

'^Hardwich, Vt., June 29, 1833. If I 
look backward, not a ray of light ap- 
pears to cheer my heart, save what 
memory presents on its tablet, as com- 
ing from God alone. And how cheer- 
ing to my sinking spirits, the God 
who was the guardian of my earliest 
days, the supporter of my youth, still 
lives; and upon his blessed arm I 
hang, when every human prop fails. 
And, although clouds and darkness en- 
compass me round about, yet justice 
and judgment are the habitation of his 
21* 



246 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

throne. This attestation to his praise, 
I cheerfully bring. And while my 
mind dwells on his character and his 
government, I find a degree of peace 
pervading my mind, which I can gain 
from no other reflection. O may it 
continue and increase ! " 

'^February 9, 1834. If my heavenly 
Father has nothing more for me to do 
in this world, I pray he may prepare 
me for a better place in glory. 

Almighty God, regard my cry, 
And hearken to my prayer; 
That still my wants thou wilt supply, 
And make me still thy care." 

^^ February 22. Had a little time 
alone; but company soon interrupted. 
When I attempted to speak, I had no 
voice. The company thought me dy- 
ing; but I did not think so. My mind 



DEVOTIONAL EXERCISES. 247 

was calm and solemiij and I should 
have chosen to be alone. Long since, 
I asked my heavenly Father, that 
when he had done using me in his 
service, he would in a peaceful, quiet 
manner unloose my fetters, gently open 
my prison and release my spirit." 

'« April 8, 1834. The Lord's goodness 
continuing to his unworthy servants, 
we were set down on the 19th of 
March last, in a dwelling we are 
allowed to call our own. O that we 
may dedicate it to the kind Donor!" 

''April 19. After I went to my pil- 
low, I tried to enumerate as many 
instances as I could, of the divine 
interpositions for me in seasons of im- 
minent danger and distress. While 
reflecting I fell into a praying frame 
of mind, and quietly dropped asleep. 
''From the commencement of my 



248 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

married life, I have tried in every 
way consistent with duty, to assist my 
husband, so that having the high grat- 
ification to feel that I owed no one 
any thing but love, I have it in my 
power to give into the treasury of the 
Lord some proof of my love to him 
and his cause." 

^' April 28. Unable to worship in 
the sanctuary with the people of God, 
I beg for the divine presence here in 
my lonely habitation. My suflferings of 
body will, if not abated, soon bring 
me to rest with the weary. O that 
my immortal spirit may then be re- 
ceived to mansions among the blessed! 
Awaking this holy morning under a 
pressure of spirits, I tried to repeat 
some of the sacred songs, which I 
had committed to memory in early life, 
and soothed my mind to rest with the 



DEVOTIONAL EXERCISES. 249 

following stanzas, from the pen of Mrs. 
Rowe : 

* Begin some high celestial strain, 
My ravished soul, and sing 
A grateful hymn of solemn praise 
To heaven's Almighty King.' &c. 

^'I bless God for these lines; they 
have afforded me unspeakable delight 
many times, when I needed such re- 
freshment. The idea of dying is sol- 
emn : to change mode of existence ; to 
drop this clog of flesh; to find my 
mind unfettered; to be introduced into 
the world of spirits; to commence a 
state of existence unalterable; to meet 
God, and enjoy his smiles, or be driven 
from his presence : what does all this 
imply? O Thou, in whose boundless 
grace is all my hope, give me before 
I go hence, such evidence that my 
heart has been renewed, that I may 



250 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

be able to look the foe of nature full 
in the face, and say, I know in whom 
I have believed and am persuaded that 
He is able to keep what I have com- 
mitted to his care, and raise up in 
glory, what is now sown in corruption. 
May a holy confidence in the dear 
Redeemer's power, and willingness to 
save, be my support in the hour to 
which I have been looking from my 
earliest days, when I must appear be- 
fore my Judge, and meet the decisions 
of eternity. As I desire to be deUvered 
from sin and made perfect in holiness, 
I hope through faith in the blessed 
Saviour, to be found among the re- 
deemed." 

'^July 17. FeeHng sin to be my 
greatest burden, and to be perfectly 
holy, the warmest desire of my heart, 
I have hope in the mercy of God; of 



DEVOTIONAL EXERCISES. 251 

being received into a mansion prepared 
by my glorious Mediator, when I shall 
behold his glory to all eternity. O 
cheering hope ! Can it be that a sin- 
ner so great, can indulge such a hope ? 
Can it be that I, one day, and that 
not distant, shall be welcomed to a 
seat among the blessed, the ransomed 
children of the King?'' 



252 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 



CHAPTER XV. 

Devotional exercises. Last sickness. Death and burial. 

After all the bright visions of youth, 
and the more earnest aspirations of 
manhood have passed away ; after all ^ 
hopes of happiness from the world have 
vanished, and one has outlived his 
generation and nearly all his friends; 
after he has learned by affecting and 
painful experience that all terrestrial 
things are vanity and vexation of 
spirit : then, if he is calm, patient, 
prayerful, pleading for the richest of 
heaven's blessings upon a world he is 
soon to leave; if benignity beam in 
his countenance and the law of kind- 
ness is on his tongue; if submissively 
and in joyful hope he is waiting till 



DEVOTIONAL EXERCISES. 253 

his change come; expecting salvation 
not on account of any goodness of his 
own, but solely through the merits of 
the Lord Jesus Christ: such a scene is 
delightful, it is heavenly. It is like 
the calm setting of a cloudless sun, 
when the firmament, the atmosphere, 
and the hill-tops are tinged with his 
golden beams. Some good people hav- 
ing served God and their generation 
faithfully, do in the evening of life 
attain to a maturity and richness of 
Christian character not otherwise to be 
found on earth. They bear the fruits 
of righteousness, and are adorned with 
celestial charms. 

We have traced the footsteps of our 
Pilgrim through a period of more than 
four-score years. She has now passed 
the time of her more active usefulness. 
We shall henceforth see her retire from 
22 



256 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

cheer my heart with heavenly consola- 
tion. O for preparation to mingle my 
notes with myriads before the throne! 
Lord, how my soul longs for thy 
blest abode. 

"February 28th, 1836. While denied 
the privilege of attending worship, I 
have many and great mercies to ac- 
knowledge. Through the cold season 
thus far, I have been so kindly sup- 
ported that I have been able to attend 
to my domestic concerns without inter- 
ruption, though not able to take the 
cold air abroad. Through abounding 
goodness and mercy, my inclination for 
reading remains unabated. Yesterday I 
received a letter of kindness fram my 
long-loved and worthy friend, Mrs. J. 
Greenleaf, of my native place. She 
requests special prayers. I desire to 
spread this letter before the Lord, and 



DEVOTIONAL EXERCISES. 257 

as my dear friend begs prayers for 
many around her, I would plead for 
a spirit of prayer for all named in her 
letter. 

"March 20th. I feel it to be a solemn 
thing to die. I have been long antic- 
ipating the moment; and had many 
solemn thoughts upon the subject, par- 
ticularly in childhood and early youth. 
And now as I stand on the bank of 
Jordan, expecting soon to be called to 
pass over the dark stream, I feel it 
to be a great thing to die. I have no 
hope of future well-being, but in Christ 
alone: he is my all, my sole depend- 
ence. 

"July 21st, 1837. To-day my suffer- 
ings have been great; but they are 
now lightened; and I would take up 
my long-neglected pen, and with the 
devout Psalmist say: 'The Lord liveth, 
22* 



258 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

and blessed be my rock; and let the 
God of my salvation be extolled.' I 
am comforted when I might have been 
cast down. 

^^ August 6th. Bless the Lord, O my 
soul, and all the powers of my mind, 
praise his holy name. He has been 
gracious to me this holy morning, and 
given me a foretaste of the blessings 
of heaven. The morning is pleasant ; 
a solemn silence reigns ; every thing 
seems to proclaim it holy time. I 
think of dear departed friends in 'glory, 
and long to join them in their anthems 
of praise. I think of beloved friends 
on the road with me to eternity, and 
pray that we may meet together each 
one upon Mount Zion, to sing the 
praises of Immanuel. 

'^Oct. 19th. To-day I am called upon 
for gratitude for the abatement of a, 



DEVOTIONAL EXERCISES. 259 

sore throat, which affliction I felt much 
last night, and feared, should it increase, 
I might by it be laid away in my 
narrow home. 

^'On the Sabbath I had the pleasure 
of attending meeting, and heard an ex- 
cellent discourse from these words ; 
'Love as brethren.' My mind was 
refreshed by the remarks made. I came 
home fatigued, but was so much grati- 
fied with the discourse, that I thought 
little of my sufferings. Wanted all 
around me to be under the influence of 
the blessed spirit of love — love to God 
and love to man." 

"June 8th, 1838. It is now consider- 
able time since I discontinued my diary. 
Feeble health and frequently changing 
my place of abode, have made regular 
writing inconvenient. Yet, O, to the praise 
of the God of my childhood, I have been 



260 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

led along from place to place, with 
daily cause to erect my Ebenezer — 
'^Hitherto hath the Lord helped me.' 
And now I am freed from the cares of 
the farm and settled again in our com- 
fortable habitation, on a very pleasant 
street. Since we left our habitation on 
the banks of the Damariscotta, we 
have been fed, clothed, and made to 
rejoice in the parental care of our kind 
Preserver. We have needed correction, 
and our heavenly Father has not with- 
holden it ; yet with all the bitter 
ingredients of our cup some refreshing 
cordials have been mingled. We have 
been favored with the friendly atten- 
tion of many while on our way to 
eternity, which has been very soothing 
to my spirits often smitten with grief. 
"August. Standing on the utmost 
boundary of time, I cast my eyes 



DEVOTIONAL EXERCISES. 261 

backwards to the period when I began 
my journey to eternity, and now send 
my thoughts forward to explore that 
■unbounded duration. May my reflec- 
tions and anticipations be such as to 
lay me low in humility, and in grati- 
tude to my kind Preserver. God of 
infinite mercy, forgive past iniquity, 
and keep me for the future in a state 
to love, serve, and glorify Thee. 

''December 30th. . . . O that there 
were in me a pure heart, a holy dis- 
position, that I could unite with all 
the blessed on earth and in heaven, 
in loving, praising, and adoring God, 
the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. 

'^February 3rd, 1839. One Sabbath, 
I humbly trust, nearer everlasting rest 
with God and holy beings. I awoke 
this morning with a pressure on my 
spirits; but obtaining mercy I am now 



262 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

closing in peace the blessed day. 
Blessed be God, I indulge the hope of 
soon gaining the blessed country where 
all the inhabitants are employed in 
praising God with perfect heart. 

"June 1st, 1840. Blessed be God for 
support in another day of trial. May 
it be sanctified for my good. Lord, 
give me a spirit of prayer, and what 
I most need in order to prepare me 
for usefulness here and glory hereafter. 
May I feel disposed to do all in my 
power for the good of the needy, and 
the comfort of the afiiicted. 

" Sabbath. . . . Lord lift up the 
light of thy countenance upon me, and 
cause me to rejoice in thy salvation. 
I feel that I am near to the waters 
of Jordan ; O, for the arm of the dear 
Redeemer to bear me through ! Sanctify 
my trials, forgive me wherein I have. 



DEVOTIONAL EXERCISES. 263 

in the anguish of my spirit, spoken or 
thought amiss: and as I plead for grace 
to support me now, hear my cry, O 
my God, and bring near thy salvation. 
O bring me into thy blissful presence, 
to enjoy thy smiles for ever ! 

^^ March 1st, 1841. Lord, thine eye is 
continually upon me; O may thine 
ear be attentive to my prayer! Thou 
knowest my sorrow, I need not tell it 
to thee. May I glorify thee under 
all I am called to endure contrary to 
my natural feelings. I want to have it 
in my power to help a needy family. 
May their temporal wants lead them 
to feel their spiritual wants. 

^•December 18. Miss M. L. visited 
me and tarried four days, then left 
for Troy, New York. 

Go, pilgrim, your path pursue, 
Along life's dreary road; 
And may your steps directed be, 
By your own chosen God." 



264 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

In 1842, Miss Martha H. L. Ramsay, 
of South CaroHna, with her adopted 
daughter, came on to Saratoga Springs, 
extended her visit to Hardwick, and 
tarried three days with Mrs. Bayley. 
The interview between these kindred 
spirits was highly gratifying, and tended 
much to strengthen that Christian af- 
fection, which they had long culivated 
by letter. Miss Ramsay expressed her 
surprise to find Mrs. Bayley so erect, 
pleasant and sociable. They parted in 
love, and continued their correspondence 
for a time. 

^'October 26. My dear Miss Ramsay 
visited us. Blessed Friend in heaven, 
give us a happy meeting in thy pres- 
ence when time with us is ended. We 
spent three days pleasantly together, 
foretaste, I humbly trust, of the com- 



DEVOTIONAL EXERCISES. 265 

munion of saints, when time is lost in 
eternity. 

" June 5thj 1843. This holy morning 
my Carolina friend has been much 
in mind. I bless God that he has 
given us the gratification of meeting. 
And now that we are separated, I pray 
that we may be prepared by his grace 
to meet on the other side of Jordan. 
Dear absent friends are thought of 
with tenderness and prayerful affection." 

A letter is sent to Miss Elizabeth 
Scott, daughter of Rev. J. Scott, late 
pastor of a church in Minot, Maine. 

^^Hardwick, June, 1843. Yes, my dear 
Elizabeth, you shall, with divine leave, 
hear once more from the aged pilgrim. 
Your letter of the 5th instant was duly 
received, and read with peculiar emo- 
tions, and for a time I was almost 
overcome. At length, upon reflection, 
23 



266 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

my mind became tranquil, and I found 
delight in tracing your dear mother on 
to her new and lasting abode. My 
dear Elizabeth, I humbly trust, the 
Father of the fatherless, the God whom 
your dear parents loved and served so 
fervently, has been, and will be, your 
supporter and comforter, under the 
severe trial through which he is now 
calling you to pass. 

. . . ^'I loved, and still love, your 
dear departed parents, and it is mine 
to suffer with you in their removal. 
The recent trial we have in the death 
of your excellent mother, depresses my 
spirits, as my list of beloved friends is 
daily diminishing, and the few now 
remaining are mostly at a distance. My 
husband is deeply engaged in pleading 
the cause of the colored man; and I 
would not call off his attention: but I 



DEVOTIONAL EXERCISES. 267 

feel lonely. Pray for me, my dear, 
long-loved friend. 

"I have a strange faculty of keeping 
the appearance of departed friends 
before me. Their looks, their smiles, 
their tender expressions, seem riveted 
to my heart, and at times I feel as 
though they were by my side. Your 
father's mild, serene countenance seemed 
to indicate to what country he was 
looking. Your dear mother I loved 
most tenderly. The mentioning of her 
name excites feelings which you, my 
dear, can understand. Let us look to 
the Friend above for support. I trust 
he will be with us during the residue 
of our journey to Canaan, and give us 
a blessed meeting. 

''With prospects so animating, let us 
press forward: a few more tears, a 
few more lonely hours, and we shall 
be at Jordan's brink ; and under the 



268 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

conduct of our dear Redeemer, we shall 
be carried safely over its billows, and 
landed on Canaan's peaceful shore. 

* happy hoiir ! bless' d abode, 
We shall be near and like our God; 
And every pow'r find sweet employ, 
In that eternal world of joy*' 

'^I must now drop my pen, for my 
paper is full, and so is my heart. I 
love you, and I trust the time will 
never come, when you, my dear Eliza- 
beth, will cease to be loved by your 
friend, the pilgrim of the desert near 
the land of Canaan, A. G. Bayley.'' 

The foregoing letter was written after 
Mrs. Bayley had entered upon her 
88th year. It is a remarkable specimen 
of mental power, warm affection and 
vivacity in one so aged. 

In August of this year Mrs. Bayley 
was taken suddenly ill, and for eight 
or ten days her friends had little hope 



DEVOTIONAL EXERCISES. 269 

of her recovery. But it pleased her 
heavenly Father to raise her up again 
to a state of health somewhat comfort- 
able. She was again able to ride abroad 
and enjoy her friends. 

^^ March 8th, 1844. Through the con- 
tinuance of divine goodness I am still 
mercifully preserved under feebleness, 
and some of the time depression of 
spirits. But God is good; and blessed 
are all they who trust in him. 

"March 26th. It is but a httle now 
I have to pass before I come to the 
stream that divides this from the pleasant 
land. O that the Lord may be with 
me, when all earthly supports fail! 

" August 1844. I am much concerned 
that I hear nothing from my long-loved 
Martha Ramsay. O when shall I meet 
my dear friends in my Father's house 
above, to part no more? 'Fly swifter 
23* 



270 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

aroundj ye wheels of time, and bring 
the welcome day ! ' " 

As this is the last written notice of 
Miss Ramsay, it is proper to say, that 
though living at this time, she did 
not long survive. She died six months 
after, February, 1845 ; about a year 
before her aged correspondent. 

In 1845, Mrs. Bayley's health was 
generally comfortable ; she frequently 
rode abroad, and enjoyed her friends, 
and was uniformly employed with her 
Bible, her pen or her work. She often 
said, that she had as good a relish 
for reading as ever. Her love of knowl- 
edge seemed inherent and abiding. 

November 3, Mrs. Bayley rode nearly 
two miles to attend the funeral of an 
aged friend and neighbor. She says: 
*^ November 1st. Saturday. Widow 
Stevens died suddenly, died, it is hoped, 
to live forever in the presence of the 



MRS. BAYLEY's last SICKNESS. 271 

living Jehovah. So far as I noticed 
her walk, in this world of care and 
toil, it was agreeable to the divine 
Rule: thus far may I endeavor to fol- 
low her example." With one exception, 
this was the last time that she rode 
out. 

Mr. Bayley, speaking of this period, 
says : Winter was now coming on, and 
I had but little expectation that she 
would live to see another spring; but 
she continued much in her usual health, 
was busy about something, read, con- 
versed, and often said she wished to 
send out her thoughts to explore that 
better country to which she was bound; 
and expressed a willingness to depart 
and be with Christ. She said often, 
she should be willing to go at any 
time, if I could go with her; but she 
felt reluctant to leave me alone in the 
world to suffer. At length Maroh came. 



272 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

and nature felt the influence of the re- 
turning sun. Hope brightened, she was 
about the house, and cheered us by 
her smiles and pleasant conversation. 
The law of kindness was in her heart 
and on her lips. I thought she 
might remain a little longer ; but she 
was looking to the heavenly country; 
and kindly said to me one day, ''I have 
had my grave-clothes prepared, and I 
hope some one will be willing to put 
them on, and lay me in my coflin: I 
cannot do that for myself. I have been 
unwilling to leave you; but I am now 
willing. 

' could I climb where Moses stood, 

And view the landscape o'er, 
Not Jordan's stream, nor death's cold flood, 

Should fright me from the shore.' 

No," she added with emphasis, ^^ I would 
plunge in.^^ 

March 10th. She appeared quite un- 



MRS. BAYLEY's last SICKNESS. 273 

well ; but Rev. Mr. Garnet, of Troy, 
calling, she arose, dressed herself, and 
requested that he, and gentlemen with 
him, might be invited into her room. 
Being introduced, she gave him her 
hand, conversed a few minutes, and 
then bade him God speed in his work. 
This was the last acquaintance she ever 
made on earth. It was Thursday. She 
lingered a few days, gradually failing. 
Monday, I was satisfied I must yield 
up my richest earthly treasure to Him 
who had the best right, and I hope, 
said from the heart, ' Thy will be 
done.' Tuesday, as I sat by her, and 
she was resting against me, she with 
great tenderness desired me to forgive 
all her faults and imperfections. This 
was a tender moment. Feeble and worn 
down, I left her room, about ten in the 
evening, to get some rest. Just after 
daylight, Wednesday, the watcher spoke 



274 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

to me, and said she thought an altera- 
tion had taken place. — While I was 
helping to change her position, and 
holding her in my arms, I said to her, 
' Now, my dear wife, I will accom- 
pany you to the brink of Jordan ; and 
there, I trust, your great High Priest 
will meet you to conduct you safely 
over.' She understood my meaning, and 
with a look of sweet benignity bowed 
her assent. At family prayer she was 
not forgotten, nor the solemn scene upon 
which she was entering ; and she evi- 
dently joined with us. All was still 
and silent around ; no taking leave, no 
stir, nor perturbation. God was speak- 
ing, and it became us to listen in sol- 
emn silence. About ten o'clock, A. M., 
Rev. Mr. Underwood called and prayed 
with us. She was then suffering much 
pain, but appeared to listen. I stepped 
into another room ; in a few minutes, I 



DEATH OF MRS. BAYLEY. 275 

was told she was going. Instantly I 
was by her, took her hand, saw her 
perfectly quiet, breathing like one fallen 
into a gentle sleep. In three or four 
minutes all was over. Without a strug- 
gle or a groan she fell asleep. When 
she came to the brink of Jordan, the 
waters were dried up, and she seemed 
to pass over at one step. She died 
March 18th, 1846, in her 90th year, 
wanting only fifty days to complete 
that period. 

On the 20th, funeral services were 
conducted by Rev. Mr. Underwood, and 
her remains were committed to the 
grave. A slab of white marble marks 
the spot where rests her precious dust. 

Dear pilgrim, farewell ; thy journey is ended, 
Thou hast gone to thy rest in the temple of God; 

Hast seen the dear Lord, who for thee descended, 
To take thee at length to his blissful abode. 



276 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 



CHAPTER XVI. 

Concluding observations, and general view of her char 
acter. 

Mrs. Bayley's early advantages of edu- 
cation were very limited, being such 
only as were afforded in a common 
district school. If we add to this the 
consideration of feeble health in child- 
hood, much sickness in youth, and the 
fact that when she enjoyed health, it 
was of necessity employed in earning a 
scanty livelihood, it appears remarkable 
that she obtained so great an amount 
of useful knowledge. But her native 
talents were above mediocrity : percep- 
tion, reason, judgment, memory, all her 
intellectual faculties, acted in delightful 
concert. She had an innate desire for 
improvement, an ardent love for books, 



GENERAL OBSERVATIONS. 277 

and acquired knowledge with great fa- 
cility. She was the director of her 
own studies. 

Her social feelings were strong and 
tender. She cherished through life a 
great love for children and youth. In 
conversation she was very interesting. 
She had a great fondness for the beau- 
ties of nature. A silvery stream, ma- 
jestic river, or winding rill, a lofty and 
spreading shade, a pleasant landscape, 
the quiet flocks and herds, the music 
of the groves, the rugged hill-top, the 
rolling ocean, the celestial luminaries, 
the flowers of earth, a brilliant morn- 
ing and peaceful sunset ; all these had 
their charms ; and often when agitated 
with cares, or overwhelmed with afflic- 
tion, soothed her mind into a state of 
delightful repose. 

Her habits were happily formed. When 
24 



278 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

health permitted, she was through life an 
early riser, and very industrious. She 
always kept her book, her pen, or her 
work by her, so that no time should 
be lost. She was remarkable for order 
in her studies and labor. This was 
more apparent after she was placed at 
the head of a family. Her husband 
was never afraid to introduce company 
into a room, when she was able to do 
her work or to superintend it. 

She was a woman of exemplary pru- 
dence. This is evident from the fact, 
that she seldom in the whole course of 
her life engaged in any enterprise of 
charity or piety, which did not suc- 
ceed. This almost uniform success is 
not to be imputed to piety or prayer- 
fulness only, but shows a good degree 
of practical wisdom. 

She was a very affectionate wife, and 
happy in the conjugal relation. She 



GENERAL OBSERVATIONS. 279 

says, '' Prom the commencement of my 
married life, I have tried in every way 
consistent with duty, to assist my hus- 
band." It is seen in the preceding pages, 
how tenderly she speaks of him, and 
earnestly she prays for the blessing of 
God upon his labors. Whatever trials 
or afflictions she had, after looking to 
God for help, she fled for refuge to the 
bosom of conjugal endearment, and al- 
ways found sympathy. Her tenderness 
and love were abundantly reciprocated. 
The confidence was mutual and per- 
fect. It has fallen to the lot of few 
to enjoy so perfectly, and for so long 
a period, the joys of wedded life. 

In addition to her other employments, 
Mrs. Bayley spent some time daily in 
retirement, read much in the Scriptures, 
in some of the standard Christian au- 
thors, in the religious periodicals, in the 
Christian poets ; and maintained through 



280 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 



life an extensive correspondence. She 
corresponded with most of those who 
had been inmates of her family. The 
influence which thousands of pious let- 
ters have had upon inteUigent and 
Christian minds, cannot be known in 
time. 

Among the poets. Watts, Milton, 
Young, and Cowper, were her favor- 
ites. When they sung of the beauties 
and wonders of nature, she was de- 
lighted ; and when they celebrated the 
glories of redeeming love, of a dying, 
risen, and triumphant Saviour, her affec- 
tions were raised to heavenly things. 
Sometimes she ventured to strike in, 
and sing with them. Many of their 
rapturous strains she committed to mem- 
ory, and long after could repeat them 
with great accuracy. By night, on her 
bed, she delighted to repeat psalms, 
hymns, and other portions of Christian 



GENERAL OBSERVATIONS. 281 

poetry, till she fell asleep. This prac- 
tice she continued till her last sickness. 
This is a felicitous use of poetry ; and 
some have continued it farther, and 
sung praises to their Redeemerj while 
they were passing over Jordan. 

As a teacher and guide of the young, 
Mrs. Bayley excelled. She readily ac- 
quired influence among her friends and 
acquaintances, and won the hearts of 
the young. They clustered around her, 
listened to her instructions, and submit- 
ted to her regulations, with delight. 
Her labors were mostly devoted to fe- 
males ; yet not a few young men will 
long remember the happy influence 
which she exerted over them in the 
most critical and important period of 
their lives. She had an ardent desire 
for the instruction, peace and happiness 
of all who were successively members 
24* 



282 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

of her family. She considered them as 
her pupilsj her children ; and she la- 
bored and prayed for their salvation 
with an intensity of interest. Scores of 
the young were, it is believed, savingly 
benefited by her instructions, and will 
be her joy and crown of rejoicing in a 
better world. 

As a daughter, sister, wife, relative 
and friend, she was, we think, a model 
of excellence. History, perhaps, does 
not afford a more delightful instance of 
filial love and moral heroisrn. 

Her theological sentiments Avere strictly 
evangelical ; being such as are expressed 
in the Assembly's Shorter Catechism, and 
in the standard Christian authors of New 
England. Her religious teachers were 
Edwards, Hopkins, Spring, and Emmons. 
On the ministry of each of these, ex-^ 
cepting Mr. Edwards, she successively 
attended. Dr. Spring, of Newburyport, 



GENERAL OBSERVATIONS. 283 

was her pastor about twenty years. 
The theological views of these eminent 
divines suited her naoral taste, and con- 
stituted, she believed, the leading prin- 
ciples of the gospel. Respecting these 
principles she seems never to have en- 
tertained a doubt. They were inwrought 
into her religious experience, and evi- 
dently through life imparted strength 
and steadiness to her character. Still 
she was not bigoted nor exclusive in 
her feelings ; she loved those who ap- 
peared to love the Lord Jesus Christ in 
sincerity, and could cordially unite with 
them. Often in her pilgrimage she 
thanked God that her pious parents 
dedicated her to Him in infancy. She 
recognized her relation to him as her 
Father, Saviour, and Sanctifier, and 
pleaded her early dedication as a rea- 
son why he should be merciful, and 
own her as his child. If all Christians 



284 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

felt the blessedness of being devoted to 
God in infancy as she did, they would 
desist from controversy about unimportant 
subjects, and cling to the blessed promise, 
pleading for divine mercy for themselves 
and their families. 

In commemorating the Lord's death she 
was careful to examine herself She ap- 
proached the table with great tenderness 
of mind and humility, and generally 
found delight to her souL If, however, 
at any time, she failed of having com- 
munion with the Saviour, she retired 
to weep and to mourn. In the long 
journey of life, the Sabbath was to 
her a type and a foretaste of heaven. 
From the time of her confessing 
Christ before men, through life, till 
her sun set in peace, there was evi- 
dently a progress in holiness, an ad- 
vancement in character toward the 
heavenly state. ^^ She hungered and thirst- 



VIEW OF HER CHARACTER. 285 

ed after righteousness;" but never sup- 
posed that she had attained to a state 
of sinless perfection. Such a state she 
longed for, and anticipated, on the 
other side of Jordan. Her consciousness 
of imperfection was steady through life; 
hence she trusted in Christ as her only 
hope J and gave to God all the glory 
of her salvation. 

Mrs. Bayley observed order in her 
religious exercises and duties, perhaps 
as faithfully as in secular affairs. She 
had stated seasons of prayer for partic- 
ular objects and persons. 

She delighted in retirement; her piety 
like that of a former century was con- 
templative ; and yet it was eminently 
practical. Probably no one delighted 
more in feeding the hungry, clothing 
the naked, receiving to her home and 
hospitality the stranger, the orphan, and 
the outcast; and in ministering to the 



286 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

servants of Christ. ^^Let mine outcasts 
dwell with thee," was a text she often 
repeated. For abihty to do this, she 
had often and earnestly prayed; and 
the Lord graciously heard her prayers. 
In various ways she aided indigent, pious 
young men who were preparing for the 
ministry. 

We close this imperfect sketch by men- 
tioning one more trait of character. It 
may be called heavenly-mindedness. She 
had through life, strong desires for in- 
creasing knowledge of God and conform- 
ity to Him, and for everlasting union, 
and communion with the blessed Saviour. 
Next to this, she longed for the society 
of the heavenly world. 

*^Come, Lord Jesus, come quickly, if 
it be thy blessed will, and set me free. 
I long to behold the habitation of the 
righteous, who are now beholding thy 
face with ineffable delight; to see the 



VIEW OF HER CHARACTER. 287 

first father of my race, redeemed from 
the curse of the apostacy, and secured 
from falling again, by the Covenant of 
Grace, into which he entered by faith in 
the dear Redeemer: I want to see Abel, 
Enoch, Noahj Abraham and his pious 
descendants, Joseph, Moses, Aaron, and 
the long catalogue of ancients, who died 
in faith and entered into rest; and later 
saints, a numerous band, including proph- 
ets, apostles, martyrs, and faithful min- 
isters of the Gospel: pious women also, 
the record of whose good works have 
reached me, in the course of my pilgrim- 
age, and drawn out my heart in warm 
affection, and strong desires to follow 
their bright example. These I long to 
see, and to be like them, clothed in 
white, emblem of purity, the purchase of 
ImraanuePs love." 



288 A PILGRIM OF NINETY YEARS. 

Oh, there are lovely lights, that rest 
On Nature's varied scene below, 

Where the broad sun has gained the west. 
And sheds from thence his softest glow. 

Oft have I marked the lingering gleam, 
On village bright, and woodland brown. 

As if from heaven a glorious stream 
Of molten gold were rolling down. 

And I have seen the dewy cloud. 
Hung loosely o'er the azure sky. 

Like regal robe of monarch proud 
Tinged with the richest Tyrian dye. 

I've watched till all these tints would fade, 
The golden light — ^the mellow glow; 

And evening, in her tranquil shade, 
Had wrapt the varied scene below. 

And thought as day's departing beam 
Shone lovelier far than all the rest. 

Its voice was as a gentle dream; 

"Jffm, thy last days should he thy best.^^ 

Selected. 



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